We have been dating for some time (going on 11months here) . He has been thinking about get a place of our own and was planning on this summer... so as soon as i get a job and back on my feet he want us to move in together..... we are not engaged "YET" but we have talked about marrage and stuff like that. All I know is he does have the ring according to his brother who has told me that he is planning on it but does not know when.... (I know i cant belive his brother has told me about him having the ring).... anyways my Question is... do you think it a good idea to move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend be for your married?
2007-03-07 15:38:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know I'll get thumbs down on this but YES!! You need to know if you're compatible and the only real way is to live with that person for a while, preferably a long while. Why risk going in blindly and ending up divorced?
Good luck,
Tori
2007-03-07 15:44:41 · answer #1 · answered by Incognito 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That is something only you can really decide but here are some things to think about.
1) What does living together mean to you (both for the relationship and for you as an individual)? Does it mean the same to him?
2) How is your communication about important issues? Money, time with friends, etc. What is his credit history? What is yours? If you do not already have these discussions, then my answer is no you two are not ready.
3) In my opinion, living together is a commitment and should be taken very seriously. If this does not work out, would you have reservations about telling the next romantic interest that you lived with your last boyfriend? If you are not sure think about it.
There is not a one size fits all answer to this question, so think about how you want your relationship and life to go and act accordingly.
2007-03-07 16:12:49 · answer #2 · answered by David T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally think so, but I guess that's an individual decision for everyone. I was with my ex boyfriend for 10 1/2 years, we only lived together for the last year, and that pretty much sealed the deal for me that I could not marry him and his family (yes, in that family it was pretty much one and the same). I plan to move in with my current boyfriend in October once my lease is up and it is somewhat different this time. Before I had doubts going in (and I was much younger), this time around definitely not. There is no doubt that we do plan to marry and I know (have heard from several sources) that he does have the ring, we have actually been discussing plans for quite some time. I think that is an important factor before moving in...if you want eventually do want marriage with this person, make sure that by moving in you will not be stalling that ahead of time (the whole buying the cow when you already have the milk deal), make sure that you are both on the same page before cohabiting on what your future holds and what you both want.
2007-03-07 15:46:15 · answer #3 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the goods :
- To understand each other more
- One will surely reveal his/her own real characters(with no
pretending
- Save a lot on finiancial matters (many things can be
shared).
- Chances of observations on each other, how honest &
trustworthy is he/she.
- Many more on whatever you want to know on him/her.
For the bad :
- When both of you have turn your faces over, you'll feel that
you are the loser. You've lost everything to him/her.
- You're always the person to be hurt. And that will takes time
for you to heel the wound.
- You have to face a lot of persons that is related to you and
the unwanted gossips which can cause you more hurting.
Final decision is up to you.
If both of you feel that you love each other, and need each other a lot, why not wait till you're REGISTERED OR MARRIED?
If you think you agree with the 1st part, and are stable & firm,
and can handle & face whatever difficulties in the future, go ahead. I can only wish you best of all.
For me, I'll only stay together only when we are REGISTERED OR MARRIED.
Goog Luck!
2007-03-07 16:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by lonely lady 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. it is a real truth that if the guy can get a physical relationship without a marriage committment, then why should he want to marry you?
Learn all about this guy before you get married and be sure this is the guy you want to be the father of your children, to grow old with....
If you move in with the guy...then break up later it will have all the emotional elements of a divorce, but you will have nothing at the end of it ...only regrets...and maybe children to support on your own.
If he wants you bad enough, he will marry you.
2007-03-07 15:52:12 · answer #5 · answered by samantha 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
The jury is out. There is statistical evidence that couples who lived together before marriage had a divorce rate somewhat higher than those that did not. But my own view is that it is a good idea; if your partner shows up with traits that you can't stand, it is better to find out before you tie the knot. But people of opposite sex can and do live together even with no intention of getting married.
2007-03-07 15:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
yes I am all for it. I wish I had, there was only 2 months time from when me and my husband started dating to getting married, we had it rough for a long time because we didn't know how to communicate with in our relationship, so I think living together first will teach you that and it won't be such a shock. Good luck and congratulations
2007-03-07 15:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by brandyswilkes 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't mainly because you're not engaged yet and it's so not right. Something could go terribly wrong. I mean what if you get a baby b4 you even marry??? Plus I think you need some more experience with him b4 you live together. 11mo is not that long.
2007-03-09 13:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by ana 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
r u ready to c the good n bad side both of u all? well if u r ready den stay together.im juz kiddin.its a commitment even thou u r not engage yet. wait for all your things settle 1st den discuss wif your b/f bout moving in together. good luck :)
2007-03-07 15:53:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That seems to be the norm these days. Depending on your beliefs, co-habitating is a sin. I would suggest that you not move in and become engaged. If he loves you, he will wait until your wedding night to give you the gift of himself and vice-versa. If premarital sex has already occurred in your relationship, this would be a great opportunity for you both to pledge love to each other and to wait until your wedding night to give that gift of self to each other.
2007-03-07 15:47:09 · answer #10 · answered by terrydanos 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋