Are all wives controlling, dominating tyrants?

Question

I know that seemed really rude of me to say- and it was, but I had to get you to read this somehow. Ok, what I want to ask is if all wives are the way I see them. I want to be equal with my wife and make decisions together based on our combined strengths- to compliment each other. To work well together. Maybe this is idealistic of me, because it seems like all the marriages I see the men just sorta "yeah whatever" everything and the woman is a tyrant. He kinda just does whatever she says, 'or else'. I really, really don't want that. Am I dreaming or do I just need to do a good job searching? I'm a very good guy and feel I really understand how to work well with another equally good woman. I have never ever seen a marriage not like the one I've just described though....so you tell me what I'm lookin at. Thanks.

And to answer the third response's question, no, they don't. I would think of her, not of my penis, thank you.

Answer 1

no not all wives are like that. your marriage can be just what you make it. you sound like you know what you want, now go out and find her. good luck.

Answer 2

Marriages like the ones you've described generally fail. Also, men and women are stereotyped so much on TV that you start to accept that that's the way we all are. No, all women are not like that any more than all men are shallow, selfish, ignorant slobs. That's just how our bad relationships leave us feeling. But hey, if everyone were the perfect mate, you could marry, well, anyone. Truth is, it takes a while to find your soul mate. People told me I was too picky. Well, those same people settled for whatever they found and are divorced now. I waited and found the right guy and we've been going strong for years. Don't let other people's experiences influence your opinion of women. Probably you're also friends with the guys and are only hearing their points of view anyway. Bad marriages are rarely that one-sided. Don't worry. If there was someone for picky little me, there's someone for you. And no, my husband would never describe me as a tyrant. I'm really a pretty reasonable person. My kids probably think I'm evil though - making them bathe and all.

Answer 3

No, not all wives are controlling domineering tyrants. But a lot of them are. You should not settle - you should keep looking until you find a woman who wants a 50/50 relationship where you two are equal partners. It may take a long time to find a lady like that - but it will be worth the wait!!!

Answer 4

My husband and I are EQUAL, as it should be. He had been in a previous marriage(if you can call it that lol) and before that with a girlfriend and both of these women were very dominating, cruel and just plain awful to him and he became 'broken', they actually broke his spirit. He thought it was just how women were, thought it was normal he says, until he met me and now realizes it is not how women are supposed to be! It took a little while but he now is actually able to make his own decisions and isn't afraid to voice his opinion. He was afraid at first because he thought I'd go into a rage and start breaking things or scream at him or call him demeaning names or even worse, start going out with other men and leave him over and over as other women have done to him. Women who love and respect their men would always treat them kindly and equally, there is no other way I'd treat my husband! If you see a mariage where one person is very dominating, it is probably not a happy one!

Take Care,
Tori

Answer 5

Hmmmm...I'm not a control freak. When it comes to the kids and the house, my hubby tends to take the back seat and let me handle things. When it comes to money, we both make it and I physically pay the bills. We joke that he hands his checks over to me but it's really not that way at all. Most of our decisions our made together. That's the way it's supposed to be. Would I LIKE to be a control freak? Sometimes, admittedly yes. I just like some things done a certain way. But I also realize that there has to be compromise not just in a relationship, but in life as well. I do think that women change once they're married though, at least a little bit. They feel like then they can let their guard down because they "have" you for good now. But so do men. It's part of life. But in order to make it work, you have to both be willing to compromise or the marriage will fail. If she's a control freak, you gotta put your foot down, and vice versa.

Answer 6

Oh gosh where can I find one of those "Yeah Whatever" kinda men hahaha!
No tyrant here. But we do share opinions. It's good in a marriage to kinda switch roles. I mean always put your self in the other persons shoes when you find your self being a tyrant or demanding. No one likes to be TOLD WHAT TO DO like a child. Try and listen to each other and treat each other with respect.

Answer 7

Maybe the reason that wives are tyrants is because men are like 'yeah, whatever'. And vice versa. I really don't know, but I've been trying to figure it out, too.

I would love to have a great relationship like the one that you described with my husband, but there are a few problems. Sometimes it seems like he WANTS me to rule him, and terrorize him. He does things like put his cigarettes out on our plates, and leave beer bottles everywhere, to say nothing about his lack of motivation involving anything other than video games.

I've come to the conclusion that I have to 'baby' my husband because he doesn't seem to know what manners or respect are. So instead of being the woman, the lover, the friend that I want to be, I somehow end up being his 'mommy'. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I don't want to be a tyrant, but he simply will not take care of himself, or anything else.

So, if you ever figure out how to make a relationship work the way that we (you and I) dream, please let me know, because this is getting very old, very very fast.

Answer 8

Let's look at it this way; each individual is unique, with their own special warts and blessings. When you partner with someone you accept them as they are, and your judgments are not important. If you are in a relationship and find it is one-sided, in your perception, either change your perception or change the relationship. It's always a good idea to have some idea how the relationship is going to work before making a commitment to it. So live together, experiment, experience, enjoy. If you find the relationship becomes intolerable while living together, then separate. Better to do it that way than divorce.

Answer 9

You have to learn how to handle conflict.

There is NO good reason for these relationships other than that the wife is more emotional about everything and the man decides it's not worth the hassle to buck her.

Well, if it bugs him enough he SHOULD buck her.

Also, get a copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. If the parties in a couple are like most men and women, they will be happiest if the woman prevails in most disagreements, but the man prevails in most of the small number of disagreements that are about bigger issues.

Answer 10

Very few wives are controlling dominating tyrants.

Answer 11

Well, being a wife, this is what I've seen. I'm not dominating at all, but there are things that need to be done to keep my house clean, my kids healthy, the cars running, etc. My husband has told me that if I don't ask him to do something he won't do it. Do you think I like this role? I don't. I feel like a nag, but he's made it clear that he won't do something unless asked. He has the freedom to go out whenever he wants, to pretty much do whatever he wants as long as it doesn't interfere with my family's life. Like, no, he can't spend $10000 on a big screen tv, we'd be in huge debt. I'd love to have married a guy who was willing to be equal without me having to "ask" him to do things!