When you were young did you follow what was taught to you and try to be straight? Though deep down you knew?

Question

You knew somehow someway it wasn't right but you couldn't really put your finger on it because of social mores, role models, what you were taught and how you were made to feel? I did, and it wasn't easy. On one hand I was supposed to always be honest, on the other I saw children being groomed to be sexually promiscuous by parents/role models at a young age and I had no role model. In retrospect I think awareness taught in schools at an early age is a good thing. I don't look at it like recruiting. You can't recruit orientation. I look at it as ethical progress. I wish I had a gay role model as a kid, do you?

Big HUG to Emily d.

Greek letter dude, Powerful! I got tears, pal.

HUGS for Kara, you go girlfriend!

Answer 1

I was taught that gay people wanted to have sex with children, and since I did not want to have sex with children I thought that I could not be gay.

I was taught that gay people did not want relationships with other people but only sex, and since I wanted a relationship I thought that I could not be gay.

I was also taught to be honest, and when my honesty conflicted with me being gay I realized that honesty is better than pretending to be someone that I am not. After being honest with myself, I learned that what someone is taught is not always the truth.

Answer 2

Yes indeed. For about a decade. I guess I knew I had these feelings for chicks before I even knew what being gay was. I was 12 at the time. But because of my religious upbringing I thought it was wrong - always.

I guess when I was 12 I enjoyed watching the news and that was my first crush - a news reader. I had decided I wanted to be a journalist but watching her made it a definate choice. Then again I thought I may have just been looking for a role model. Still 10 years later - she's a hottie.

Then I got hooked on the x files. At first I love David Duchovny - hey I was meant to like guys hehe. Then I sort of went for Gillian Anderson. Deep down inside I knew it was a gay thing ( I knew about gay by then) but covered it up with a role model thing.

When Gretel Killeen (host of aus big brother) hit the screens I knew it! I guess it wasn't until 3 years later that I actually found the girl I wanted to be with. At that time all my religious bearings went out the door. During my childhood I found the religious people to be the worst kind so that helped my cause.

I had never attempted anything before that. She was a friend of a friend and I knew there was something about her. I bit the bullet and asked her out about 9 months after meeting her. We have been together for nearly four years now.

I guess deep down everyone knew it but no one realised that I'd actually do it. I was so unhappy with my life up until I finally came out. It was rough intially because parents weren't keen on it but I think most people were prepared for it in that deep down we all knew hehe.

I think if I'd have had a gay role model I might have taken the step quicker but I just don't think there was anyone out there. Around the time Ellen came out but it made it look worse cause her show got axed then.

I definately agree that it should be aware to students in schools. It's like anything - you learn about other cultures, other people etc so why not about the 'gay' people. There are that many families now with same sex parents - it's going to be hard to avoid it.

Congrats to all that hung in there and became true to themselves.

Answer 3

I'm not gay, but what you say sounds very familiar from what I've heard from just about every gay friend I have.

I remember first finding out about homosexuality and it scared me - it was at that time of sexual awakening where the whole topic is nothing but confusion and I was very shy around girls and I thought - OH NO - WHAT IF I'M GAY?

For a while I was a typical guy who thought that being gay was somehow contagious and I didn't want to have anything to do with them - not that many people were OUT back then.

Over the years, I've experienced having lots of friends come out and have been fortunate to have them talk to me about what they've gone through. It went from being a threat to being just another aspect to someone's life to me, and now ignorance and hatred towards gays is one of the things that gets me maddest.

But, I've never had the least inclination to want to be intimate with some hairy man, lol.

Oh, I don't suppose I've answered your question but I just felt like sharing.

Answer 4

I knew I was gay when I was in my teens, but back then I did what you were suppose to do, so I went out with girls and then got married in my 20's. I wish I had a gay role model when I was in my teens, because if I had I don't think I would have gotten married.

Answer 5

I tried to be straight but I didn't do a good job. Everyone knew I was gay. I'm glad that every once in a while I am able to help some gay teen with his issues on this site. I avail myself to any kid who is in turmoil over his sexual orientation. I try to defuse some of the negative self imagery, and stereotypes, and hatred.

Answer 6

My confusion arose only when I accepted that I liked men, too. For a few (shameful) years, I was a rubbish boyfriend to the girls and men with who I went out. Not cheating on them but unwilling to devote my full attention to them.

I agree wholeheartedly that kids need to be taught a full and honest view of sexual orientation. Ideally it would also be reinforced in the home - which I have faith, given time will happen.

Answer 7

I understand when I was younger and knew I didn't like boys. I tried to hide it from my parents because they expected more from me. Then when I turned 16 mom always asked me why I never dated a guy and started questioning if I was a lesbian. So I dated a guy just for her to get off my back only for a couple months I didn't do nothing with him. Finally I broke up with him and come out to my gay Uncle which I knew he was gay for years. He was basically my role model. He told me to just tell my mother and she wouldn't care. He told me that even maybe she already knew so I come out to her and she was a little upset, but she said she's my mother and will always love me for who I am.

Also when I knew I was a lesbian at 13 I was brought up proper to say excuse me when I left a conversation or got up from the dinner table. I was taught to not lie which still to this day I haven't. Things like that which I thank my mother to this day. Another thing mom never taught me that gay/lesbian was a bad thing. She just sorta wished I would turn out that way which I haven't, but still loves me.

Answer 8

I guess in a sense that I am still dealing with it. I am comfortable talking with my sister and brother about it, but not my parents. My parents are very christian and it is a sin. I was raised that it is a sin and I have a hard time with that even though I have disassociated myself from that religion. I want to be with a woman, I have had 2 gf's but never had sex with them because I was too afraid. But as time goes on, I am losing major interest in having sex with men and find myself fantasizing that they are women just to somewhat enjoy myself. I knew some gay people in high school, no longer have contact with them, but always admired how comfortable they were with it and how supportive people were with them.

Answer 9

im still struggling with it. i had some differnet experiences than most everyone else and it left me kind of not knowing what i am. i dunno if i everwill. soetmiems I was "taught" to be gay,other times i was taught that gay pepole were sinners and rapists. i KNOW youcant be taught to be gay,im jsut saying that it was an experience i had. and i know gay people arent sinners (more than anyone else)or rapist. And now I have feelings for other boys and its messing me up. IIdont know what i am but im starting to think i need to just "be" striaght so i can keep out of trouble. Id almost rather be asexual and keep away from it all lol!!

lol Can you tell im confused? Sorry i dont know how to explain my situation without makign people mad here. i dont have anyu gay role modles or ever had one before.

Answer 10

I always tried hard to be straight, but ultimately I knew it was not me... although I'm coming at it from a different angle here.
I identified as a girl at a pretty young age, so I never thought of myself as 'gay'--and when I was old enough to be sexual, I knew that I was a straight woman in need of certain alterations to complete me as a woman.
I've always been attracted to men, and in the past couple of years I've come to accept and appreciate my attraction to women too.
So, I AM straight, in a roundabout way... once I complete my gender reassignment surgery I will be with men as I've truly been meant to be with them.