If I'm not a nervous wreck enough about the possibility of him going overseas now I just have more to worry about! My husband & I have been married 10 years but have pretty much always split our finances. He covers mortage, car payments, car insurance and I cover utilities, kid's expenses, groceries. He's in the Nat'l Guard and been put on alert (not activated yet) but he is not making any plans to leave me anything financially and just tells me he will make sure all the bills are paid automatically. I talked to him about a power of attorney and he doesn't want to do that. Honestly I don't think he trusts me! What if something happened? What if the bank screws up and a car payment doesn't get made and they come to take my car...any advice? He makes 3x what I do and I depend on him financially at times to fill in the gap.
2007-03-07 14:58:30 · 11 answers · asked by LisaPP 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You really need to sit down with him and explain your concerns-- right down to the last penny.
2007-03-07 15:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by mattfz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, whether he likes the thought of a PoA or not, he will most likely have to make one up as part of the "packet" he will have to do before he is shipped out. He CAN set up automatic payments while he is gone, which is what it sounds like he wants to do, so I don't think he is planning on leaving you without any finances. I suggest that you sit him down and talk to him, because I think he is using your insecurity about being left in a financial bind as a way to try and keep his mind off of him being on alert. Also, this right here is the reason why, in addition to their own separate accounts, married people that are both working should contribute to a joint savings/checking account.
2007-03-07 15:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You NEED a power of attorney. There is a trust issue going on it sounds like. If anything, get a special POA drafted that will only let you deal with certain things.
He needs to support you financially while he is gone. Talk about setting up an allotment that goes into your account from his paychecks.
I personally have not had to use my POA yet, and my hubby's been gone 5 months but then again we have no mortgage or car payments!
But really do talk to him about an allotment. Figure out how much you spend in one month and how much you can cover on your own, and come up with an amount that can be automatically deposited in your account. Good luck!
2007-03-07 15:03:53 · answer #3 · answered by His Angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is being irresponsible and in denial of anything happening to him. I would sit down and have a long talk with him. He joined and put you in this position and he needs to do the right thing while he is gone to make sure that you are taken care of and in control. I think he must be a control freak that wants to micro-manage you from over there. Put your foot down before he leaves and tell him that you will take care of everything while he is gone.
2007-03-07 15:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, you've been married 10 years, and he doesn't trust you with finances? Nothing you can do, unfortunately - you can't make him trust you overnight. Keep your fingers crossed, and hope that everything gets paid on time. If my husband disrespected me like this, I would divorce his a**. We both work, and have joint finances; yes, he makes 5x more than I do, but I don't believe he thinks I'm gonna take his money and run. If he did, it would be highly insulting. I probably couldn't stand being married to such a person.
2007-03-07 15:14:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if you are married and he will not leave you his information to his money then there is a problem.....he should not have a problem with you wanting to make sure everything is taken care of.....and if you are not the power of attorney who is?
2007-03-07 15:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by thats me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rent out your rooms get a job talk to him an ask him why he's acting like this that doesn't sound right ask the churches for help call SALVATION ion army call the CITY they will help you with the house payment and PG&E things like that call him commander and see if he will help you do it before he leaves then you might want to get rid of him he's not thinking of you find someone that does what stress he's acting like a jerk GOOD LUCK
2007-03-07 15:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are entitled to have an allotment especially if you are managing the family back home. And you need a limited POA. You and your husband need to have a good talk.
2007-03-07 15:07:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job.
2007-03-07 15:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gibe him a break for one thing, he has his life to worry about and you are worried about finances.
2007-03-07 15:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by ACTS 4:12 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋