mother to be with major babys father issue!?

Question

hey! im 3 months pregnant and very excited as well as my family! the father of my child is acting very inmmature hes not workin and wants me to get an abortion im not going to. but he keeps saying he doesnt want to be with me anymore now he says im ruining his life! i have no friends because of him and yes everyone says to leave him but its so much easier said then done i need elp! maybe i can work things out! what should i realy do because i dont want ot be just another babys mom and a child who lives without both there parents living together. i tihnk thats what i fear most! my child being another statistic! HELP!

Answer 1

HE WILL NOT CHANGE. HE WILL NOT CHANGE. I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU, HE WILL NOT CHANGE. Always remember this: No man is better than a bad man. You will carry on, you will meet someone who will respect and support you, you will NOT meet that person if you let this bum hang around.

Answer 2

I need to preface my answer!

POSTERS, LOOK AT THE PAST QUESTIONS FROM LeeLee.

You've been planning a pregnancy for quite a while. Did you not ask the boyfriend if he wanted a child??? Also are you still under the age 18? As a minor, you are going to need lots of help in raising a kid alone. I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling about your situation. It appears you chose and strongly desire to become a statistic.

Sounds like you and he needed to have a conversation about kids before you became pregnant. You may be excited, but a baby is not a 'relationship fixer'.

Since he has said he wants nothing to do with the child, I'd take him at his word and make your plans to go it alone. He's not going to be any help to you or the child. Be thankful you have family that is willing to help. Some people don't even have that.

It's too late to worry about being 'just another baby's mom and child without a father. that's where you are now. Time to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move on to where you go from here. the past can't be changed. You have to make a future for this child the best way you can.......and chasing someone who is not in the least bit interested is not going to do it.

Answer 3

I felt the same way. You cannot avoid being a statistic as you put it, due to the fact that the baby has been convieved already. you can avoid that thought pattern and change it.You are carrying it with no intents to get rid of it. If he doesn't stay, guess what, you are another baby's mom.
So What!

These things should have been considered when it was decided to play.
You need to stop fearing and start living like you are going to protect that baby. You heard the father, now let him hear you through court for what he needs to do to financially support his child

He ruined his own life by not covering up, so baby it is sir! If he won't do it voluntarily, let the courts handle him and leave him alone. The child will turn older, and he will get repaid for any neglect the child felt during his rise to adulthood and getting dissed by you own child will hurt worse than any vice I know.

Answer 4

Your baby's father does not care about his child one bit! How dare he say you should get an abortion and that you're ruining his life!!! I know you don't want to be a statistic, but getting this man out of your life will be better for your child. He doesn't even work! What kind of influence will that have on your child? Obviously you care about this man for putting up with his crap, but he DOES NOT care about you or he would never say those things to you, especially repeatedly like he has!!! You cannot fix him. Many women stay in unhappy relationships b/c they are sure they can work things out or fix "this one thing" and everything will be okay. The fact is, you cannot make him be a good father or care about you and your baby. Cut your losses and get out ASAP. Good luck to you and congrats on your baby!!! :)











EDIT:
I just read some of your past questions--why are you asking about conceiving at the same time as getting tips on cocaine????? You do realize that YOU CANNOT DO DRUG DURING PREGNANCY, don't you??? It appears you and your boyfriend didn't plan this pregnancy and that you are not at a point in your life where you are responsible enough to handle having a baby. For the baby's sake DON'T DO ANY MORE DRUGS, and when it is born GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION!!! I can't believe you!!!

Answer 5

He's being selfish and immature ... and yet you still want this person to be around your baby?

I understand you love this person but you have to think about the baby right now. This guy doesn't sound like he's going to help you later down the road. As a matter of fact, he could be an potential danger to your baby. I've seen what can happen to a child who's father resents them. It's not pretty.

Do you and your child a favor and move on. Yes, it will make you a statistic in this case, but don't make your child into a statistic because the father abused him/her. On that thought, the guy could turn out abusive towards you as well as your child.

Answer 6

hey there a lot single mother out there.. and they some of them get child support.. You know you are strong to take care of this baby with your family help. You can always make pregnancy friends when you go to the classes. Tell the father to go find job..
your baby father is immature for age or whatever age he is.. Responsible for new life.. And his false that he didn't use protection... He would either in baby life or once in while.. So if you feel that stick somewhere and not go anywhere.. You not alone... there a lot of people out there who raise they own kids by them self with out the baby father help..
You just have to be strong and raise good kid...
You go tell his parents that you are preganant and see how they feel about it.. if the his parents doesn't care then you pick the wrong guy.. And there better guys out there... but mostly baby father parents should be happy... not likeyour boyfriend...

Answer 7

I am a father of two boys.. and also a victim of domestic violence, because my mother wanted the same thing u did but my father didn't. the things that my eyes have seen caused emotional damage forever. A child, no matter how it was conceived is a blessing and if he doesnt want to be apart of this blessing than fine.. let him leave. nothing is worse than making a man be something he doesn't want to. He'll cheat on u, blame u for foolish things, and resent everything he wasn't able to do. Being pregnant is a beautiful experience I quickly let go of old friends and bad habits and loved living a family life. If he wants to be free **** him let the dumb *** go, but raise those kids strong. in time u will trust me u will find a man that will give u what he obviously is to immature to give u. Be smart and if there is any more questions feel free to leave at my email [e-mail]

Answer 8

I know that it is not as easy to leave as other people say. I was stuck in a horrible abusive relationship for almost 7 years. But the day comes when something clicks in your head and you say "enough is enough"
Any way that it goes, statistics are involved, whether it be for you, your child or both.
The child doesn't deserve to end up in the house where the father doesn't love him/her... and you do not deserve to live in a house where you are being blamed for something where both parties are responsible.
I think that in the end the undying love you have for your child will supercede any emotional attachment you have for your spouse and you will make the decision that benefits you and your baby.
I applaud you for your decision to keep the baby.
No one can tell you what you should do. That lays in your heart and I am sure you already know the answer to that question.
The pain of having to leave your spouse is temporary, the love you have for your child will be forever.

Answer 9

Take it from me...a single mother of three...you're better off without his negativity! Sure, you might think it's better to have both parents "together", but honestly if you two can't agree on things, especially involving your child, then your child will have a much more relaxed environment. Don't worry so much about doing things on your own...your family will always be there for support. As far as your friends that you have lost...then I guess they weren't really your friends to begin with. Take care of yourself and whats best for the baby. If he comes around, then great...if not, then the baby doesn't deserve him around anyway. Keep your head up...you'll be just fine! Good Luck!

Answer 10

i'm in a similar situation but not quite. i'm 3 months pregnant and technically we are still together but we just dont live together. he doesnt have a job right now either.....but sweetie, i dont want to lecture u but, you should have made sure that the guy felt the way you do as far as a family life. i know you may not want to be a single mother, but when a guy says he doesnt want to be bothered, doesnt want to be a father, usually they mean it. you can talk to him and tell him how important it is for a child to have both parents but at the end of it all the guy is going to feel the way he feels. you cant worry about the guy. you have to focus on you and your child now. at this point its just about the baby coming into this world. put his sorry butt on child support. he made the baby just as well as you, it takes two. if he didnt want kids he should have kept it in his pants. its not the child's fault it was created. trust me, a man that truly loves you will accept your child as well as you. be strong.....email me if you want to talk. good luck, momma

PS.: just remember, your little one feels everything you feel emotionally. Don't stress....try to be happy. Think about how much joy your baby will bring you....not about the negative.

Answer 11

I would tell that idiot that you lost the baby and then I would move away and start a new life with your new baby.
You already love it and know you want to have it and he is going to be absolutely no help and only a negative influence on you and the child. You said yourself you have no friends left, so why not move where you have some family or old friends?
Good luck to you, you are in a great position to start again and have a lovely, beautiful life with your new baby!