How do i deal with Offensive people?

Question

I know this one kid Dean and he is well mean most of the time. He is kind of fat and he thinks that people should know just as much as he does or he will think they are stupid. One time i was talking to my friend and he just said "Hey nick cloose it". The worst part of this was that he had a smile on his face and even did a hand jesture with it. What do you think is the best way to avoid hitting dean and actually doing something effective with him?

Answer 1

Go ahead and hit him--but smile when you do it.

Answer 2

First of all, he's a bully, and typically, you can't control a bully's behavior.

Secondly, be sure to look at the behavior and not at the person - the fact that he's fat has nothing to do with his behavior.

Finally, just repeat back verbally his action using ONLY THE FACTS, and ask him if he thinks that's appropriate. For instace:

"Dean, first, I was talking to my friend, then you told me to close it, and then you had a smile on your face when you did this. Does this sound like the kind of behavior you think is OK to display, or am I missing something?"

Answer 3

Your friend is a bully, and bullies are people who have experienced a lot of emotional pain. Being a bully protects them from having to put up with being teased or picked on by others. Acting like he knows everything is simply another form of bullying, because really, who is going to want to argue with him?

Dean needs to be treated kindly, probably would love to be included in the things you or others are doing, and you need to find some compassion in dealing with him. Don't "give-in" to Dean's demands or be fearful of him. Next time he tells you to "Close it!," maybe you could include him in your conversation. Say something like "Hey Dean, what's your opinion on...".

Bullies are scared and hurt. The only way to get rid of them is to treat them kindly and help them become a part of more positive activities and friends. Hope this helps a little bit. Annie

Answer 4

chances are "Dean" has a low self esteem and doesn't know how to properly socially interact with people...he doesn't know how to carry on or start a conversation with someone else. it sounds like he uses his sarcasm as something to protect himself...he says something before someone can start picking on him.
Honestly, I would just try to start a conversation with him...be nice...and when he starts to get like that, and make those kinds of comments, just ignore them like he never said them...continue the conversation with him...he may just really need a friend more than you could ever know...
if, on the other hand, you try this, and he is still rude and doesn't stop, then just walk away.ignore him everytime he says something...it is no fun to play in the sandbox alone, if he doesn't get a reaction from you, he will most likely stop

Answer 5

When he says mean things ignore him as if he didn't exist. When he sees that you don't respond to his insults, he won't find interest in bugging you. Bullies love when their victims respond to their abuses. So don't respond. But if this kid keeps on bullying I suggest you talk to an authority figure, the principal, mom , dad etc

Answer 6

The fact that he is fat obviously does not cause his behavior but it is important that you pointed it out. He is probably very jealous of you....

Insults and smart reactions deserve same in kind....
If he says close it again, how about...'I will close it here if you close it in the lunchroom...deal?' (you will be smiling of course)

Answer 7

people like that,i find, are usually pretty insecure about themselves. they love to get a rise out of you. if it's just words,let it go. they're only words. if it gets physical, thats different. you have to defend yourself and sometimes others if necessary.

Answer 8

Ignore him...he sounds like a real jerk.

Answer 9

tell him that despite his callous behavior, God Still loves him.