For the past five years I have been thinking my husband's family were evil people who just hated me for no reason. It has created tension in our marriage and with my husband and his father who died recently with no ammendments made. Now it has come to light that the one sister in law I thought loved me has been saying things that were untrue. She has been presenting me in the worst way so that when I get around the others they thought I was being fake. I am so hurt. My husband does not want to confront his sister about it. That angers me. I do not know what to do because my natural instinct is to confront her about it but it is not my place. I just feel so gross about it all, all this time, all this energy on some tired lies. I have done so much for this lying sister in law that it would not be wrong for me to just slap her in the face. Please internet world help me with an answer.
2007-03-07 14:03:18 · 7 answers · asked by Family matters 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Proof? Do you have reliable witnessed proof that your sister-in-law has purposefully misrepresented you to the family.
If not, then you have to be ultra kind and helpful and let your own sterling personality prove the misconceptions wrong; and you will come out of it standing taller in your own eyes and your husband's eyes too.
If yes, then your husband MUST intervene with his family for you and give you the chance to address each and every untrue word with the sister-in-law present; and you will come out of it looking selfish and petty.
Or, you can give it all to GOD and rest peacefully and confidant within your true self.
2007-03-07 14:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by kitchenheatindex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutley YES!!!!!
You should be mad about this and even more upset that your husband does not want to intervene.
You & your husband are one. That's why you said
"I do"
If anyone is doing something that affects your marrage in any negative way, the by all means, you should take action.
I would confront the one that is slandering you and confront her in front of the family. The only way to redeam your image or status within the family is to show that you have some balls.
(i know your a woman but yo know what I mean)
Let the family know that she is stirring up all this BS & make her apoligize to you for trying to sabotoge your life.
Don't be violent and crazy. Just be assertive and confident.
If you do this correctly, You will shine and recieve the respect you deserve. If she had a problem with you then she should have objected when you were standing at the alter. Otherwise, she should shut the F_C K up.
If she apologizes in front of the family, you should accept it. Even if you don't want to. Remember, you are gonna have her around for the rest of your life.
2007-03-07 22:29:17 · answer #2 · answered by warscoob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to confront her, how will you feel a few months down the line when she does it again but worse? You'll probably hate yourself. Confront her in a non aggressive, but assertive way. Let your husband know beforehand what you plan on saying and when you are going to do it (so she doesn't twist it anymore), and arm yourself with the amunition of what she has been lying about in the first place.
It IS your place to confront her, she is purposefully making you miserable, and she will have no respect for you if you don't stick up for yourself.
Go for it!
2007-03-08 08:51:30 · answer #3 · answered by ~Natacha~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest i think your husband should say something if not and it were me I'd wait till a few of the family were together including her and say to her I don't want to argue only why have you been saying the things you have, if she has others will wait to see her reaction and the truth may come out, don't hit her as that would cause more trouble and make you look like the bad one.
2007-03-08 01:03:20 · answer #4 · answered by Bernie c 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront her calmly and ask her why she has caused so much trouble for you. I cannot understand why your husband is not backing you in this matter as it is very upsetting for you. Just be careful in the future make a point of not bad mouthing any of them so anything you say can not get back and cause more trouble. Good luck to you hope you get it sorted.
2007-03-07 23:37:33 · answer #5 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go girl!I'd do more than slap her face,for what she's done,five years?have you got any witness,to this?if not you'll have to keep being nice,and catch her unawares,what does she think will come out of this?buy a Dictaphone,test it's working,then confront her,place the Dictaphone somewhere out of sight,but near to hand,if she tells you,that she has caused the problem,gather the family round your/their place,and confront them with the evidence.failing that play her at her own game.(no offence to anyone intended).
2007-03-08 03:48:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a nasty piece of work. What does she gain from doing this?
Buy a dictaphone and confront her in a calm & collected manner, that way you will have the proof of what she says to you.
Test the dictaphone on otherpeople first though to see the best position for recording.
good luck.
2007-03-07 22:16:46 · answer #7 · answered by unareticencia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋