What is a good name for this poem? Is it good? Provid analysis. What am I trying to say? For a class.?

Question

So you didn't mean to hurt me
with the things you did.
And you didn't mean to make me cry
time and time again.
And they say that I shouldn't be angry
that I should learn to forgive.
Even if I could forgive you
I know I couldn't forget.

Its like throwing sand in the air
and it returning to slap my face.
Every time I hear your voice
it comes close to driving me insane.
But for some reason beyond my knowledge
I simply can't let you go.
Perhaps a part of you
I have encased within my soul.

So I give up and I take you with me
on this journey down into unknown lands.
And when you tend to pop up,
I try to hide you once again.
Its okay, my darling mother
you trully have nothing to fear.
Because as long as you are with me,
I will always want you dead.

Robert. You're an asshat.

Answer 1

I like this because it has a little originality in it and the rhyming doesn't sound forced when you use it. It sort of has a rhythm here. A beat.
That is, until the last line. "I will always want you dead"? It doesn't rhyme at all and it kind of throws me off that you would be that harsh. I really think you chould change that one line.

I am terrible at titles too! Just can't think of them. Perhaps take a favorite two words from the poem. Or title it something that you don't think someone would get from the poem that you want to make them understand.

It is about your relationship with you mother, and how she always hurt you and the impact of that left a scar. There is no way you can get over what she did or forget it, but you try to. Correct?

Answer 2

Well, whether it is good or not depends on your age and years of writing experience. You misspelled the word, "truly," and there are several other flaws grammatically. I won't judge the mood of the poem, nor will I judge the relationship. Only you know how you feel about your mother and why. I would say that if you are a junior high school student, the poem is rather good. If you are older than 16, you need to work a little more on word usage and more concise expression of your thoughts.

Answer 3

toxic relationship

this is dark poem
make me shiver