I have this friend who is gay and he has only told me because he knows that I would be OK with it and I wouldn't make fun of him or nothing but he dosen't wanna tell anybody else. Especially his family, he's worried that he will never talk to them or see them again because his parents are really racist against gay people. I wanna make him feel better or give him advice, what do I do?????
2007-03-07 13:44:24 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Great question. I have a friend who is gay and he leveled with me about this 15 years ago. 10 years ago his Uncle outed him to his local relatives, and just recently his aunt outed him to his out -of-town relatives. You need to be there for your friend when the inevitable happens, especially if there is a Bible-thumper who says he's going to go to hell, etc. I am a Christian and that sort of BS makes me so mad I could do something about it if I let myself get carried away. Sceintists are now understanding the generation-skipping DNA nature of this sexual orientation, so at some point as a service to your friend you will need to have a serious talk with his folks to explain that 99% of all gay (and bi-sexual) people were born that way - my friend says he knew he was gay since the beginning. A true friend is one who stands by even if the rest of the world is being judgmental. Go for it.
2007-03-07 13:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say that you sound like a great friend. Just keep being there for him, and tell him that you will be there for him no matter what happens. He really should come out though, because he is denying who he really is, and that is causing a lot of stress for him. Most people probably already know he is gay anyway, not to sound negative. Hope I helped you out, good luck!
2007-03-07 23:19:48 · answer #2 · answered by Andy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend knows that you are true friend because you are not judging him. Before he told you, he may have thought that you may never talk to him again or want to see him again because of who he is. By you being supportive of him he is learning that he does not have to feel that he is alone and has someone that he can trust to talk to.
The best thing that you can do is tell him that you will be there for him no matter what.
2007-03-07 22:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, that a complex situation,
But maybe he don't need to tell his parents. (if they are so racist against gay)
Worst if they put them out of the house you know...
If he already have his house.
Who care? He should said it.
His parent is really that important?
About friend He should be proud of it. People don't care if you are gay...it's how you see yourself that people care.
Will you defend yourself if somebody laft at you?
If yes, No Problem you will be respected.
If no , Bye Bye
Good Luck!
2007-03-07 21:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by lollol 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are gonna have to come out sometime honey! Your parents will love you no matter what, because they probably already know. You are still the same person you were last week right! But after you teel them you will be a stronger, more confident person!!! Gay or not!
2007-03-07 21:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by anoldwomanlivinginashoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Respect his decision not to tell anyone else just yet. And treat him the same as you ever did, as long as he doesn't hit on you (assuming you are not gay also, lol) he is still your friend, right?
2007-03-07 21:48:42 · answer #6 · answered by innocence faded 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's great that your there! But he needs more. Are you comfortable telling us what large city you are near or in? Many of us know of Gay community agencies that offer either counseling or socializing groups. A good start, regardless of where you live is PFLAG's website. They are really a terrific group.
2007-03-07 21:48:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just be there for him like you are now. If he's not ready, well then he shouldn't feel worried about it. He's got you to support him and that's just what he needs. Just tell him that he has to be ready to come out. There is no time limit on coming out of the closet heh. Time will tell
2007-03-08 00:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by Captian 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be his friend and allow him to confide in you. Also, its very important to goof off or make jokes about it cuz he may be hurting inside. Tell him everything is gonna be alright and even if his parents alienate him that he always has a friend. [you]
2007-03-07 21:49:33 · answer #9 · answered by dancingqueen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they're gonna find out somehow. it depends on how racist the parents are. maybe you could subliminally make them more tolerent by showing them some gay themed movies, or something.
2007-03-07 21:47:39 · answer #10 · answered by morobell 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋