2007-03-07 13:14:06 · 45 answers · asked by nien 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it is exactly happening to me these days.i have a nice family.i love my husband and my daughter.i saw a guy in a gym.we just talked to each other several times in the gym and now i found that i can not stop see him even for one day.i dont know if it is love or not,but i confuse.i can not take care of my daughter and also think about my husband.i think something is wrong.it is not possible.i should cut all things that related to that guy. i try to do that but the problem is that i see him everyday,he is my neighbour.u know we have to think about our family.future is not as beautiful as what we imagine.think about ur partner.is it acceptable for you if your partner has a relationship with someone the same as u?
goodluck
2007-03-07 14:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by looloo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. You might be in lust with someone else, you might pine for the possibilities of a fantasy relationship with someone else...but its not love. Love is not a feeling...its a commitment, a behavior and an attitude...its recognizing that if you are looking for a passionate affair, chances are so is the person who sleeps in your bed.....have one, with him.... set up a blind date with your spouse..... what would you be doing differently in your marriage if you were passionately in love? how would you be behaving? what plans would you be making? MAKE THEM. Sometimes we have to go through the motions to get our passion back....because life and the stresses of balancing a household, jobs, families and life are just overwhelming...thats why they say marriage is work...the work is being honest and the work is doing the next right thing, for the benefit of the person you married, even when you just dont feel like doing it....wait until you see how much more passion and love you have after the two of you try it for a while..... the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence...but it still has to be mowed....
2007-03-07 14:53:37 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's completely possible to care for someone else even if you are married and have a happy life. But that doesn't mean you have to act on it....and if you truely love this other person..it's time to have a talk with your spouse....
I went thought it before myself. I'm married, I met someone, had an instant attraction to each other..not just physical, but emotional as well (we never had an affair..just to make that clear..there is absolutely 100% no excuse for having an affair)...HOWEVER...I talked to my husband, we did a few months of with a marriage counselor...and it was worth it. Sure, I cared for the other person....maybe even loved him...but I was never IN LOVE with him. Not the way i am with my husband...Now here I stand, 3 years later..and I'm extatically happy with my husband, my child, and the life we have built together...like I said..perhaps it's time you had a talk with your spouse..and decide which one you are really in love with...
2007-03-07 13:21:54 · answer #3 · answered by dream_siccles22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time to be honest w/ your spouse . She already senses the loss which is inevitable. The facts have presented themselves. Eyes r now wide open. People that love each other need each other & they need to be together. He needs to realize he will never be happy living a lie. She needs to realize she will never be happy living a lie People will get hurt .There is nothing one can do about it in this situation except make the choice to leave. There are somethings time can not erase. Holding each others hand it, needs to be done for respect of the other spouse who has spent years holding your hand. You can try to tell yourself the've been with you but you have been alone fighting the battle to keep it alive . The battle is never going to be won because the heart is eleswhere.Leaving is better than staying in a relationship for convienence. Go to that person you love & tell them the truth. Move on to the One who will be able to cherish your heart. Take that honesty you feel for them and open doors for yourself. Don't lie numb for years wondering is this all there is....................BREATHE...
2007-03-07 15:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How on earth can you be married and happy, yet loving someone else? How can you live with someone you dont love....wouldnt you be thinking about your love all the time while being with your spouse?....How is that happy? If I was trully in love with someone else and not my spouse I would be absolutely miserable because I would want to be with my love all the time....I thought thats what love is all about...I thought thats what happiness is all about too....maybe Im all mixed up.
2007-03-07 13:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be married, but I beg to differ on the happy part. You are splitting your affections and you cant completely love either. You need to either devote yourself to your husband or be fair to him and not hurt him and leave. You cant give someone 100% in a marriage if you have feelings for someone else. Its not fair to all parties involved. Dont hurt your husband. Make a choice.
2007-03-07 13:19:42 · answer #6 · answered by mlock123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure you can be completely happy in your marriage if you're in love with someone else. If you continue this with the other person you will start comparing your feelings for them to your feelings for your spouse and the newer feelings are always stronger. Your marriage will end up beng unhappy because you'l feel there's something better out there.
2007-03-07 13:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that someone is in love maybe it is lust..... If you really do have the love for this person,maybe u should discuss this with him or her.... I think it is normal to be attracted to someone else, but love is a very differnt matter. The four letter word can quickly turn to hate... U should think about it... Life should be about being happy.
Best of luck...
2007-03-07 13:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can be pulled all kinds of ways if you allow it. That's why commitment in marriage is so important....everyone knows temptation lurks out there...but marriage is supposed to be a promise not to pursue that. If your spouse were in love with someone else just like this, wouldn't that diminish the bond you have? It hurts like hell to be cheated on, and that look of sincere undying love you get from someone who is open and trusting to you will never return when your spouse even begins to suspect something like this might be going on, regardless of evidence. I am presuming here that you are acting on this love...if I am wrong, and you are staying committed, I apologize.
2007-03-07 14:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it's normal, but it's happened to me. Just don't make a mistake. If you can, stay away from the other person. Unless you want to be with them and not your partner. Things have a way of getting out of hand really fast without you even realizing.
2007-03-07 13:18:08 · answer #10 · answered by dmstanley02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋