the old saying, "once a cheater, always a cheater"? People always say that, but what are the acutal statistics of that? I am curious, cuz I cheated on my husband once a long time ago and havent had any desire to do it again. Its like all of it wasnt worth it. The guilt, the shame, the pain, who needs all of that when life is tough enough as it is, why self induce it? Just wondering what everyones take on this is, when you really sit down and think about it?
2007-03-07 12:58:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i cheated on every single boyfriend, but wouldn't even think of cheating on my husband.
i think it should be more like, once a cheater in one relationship, always a cheater in that relationship
2007-03-07 13:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it goes by personal experience and the experiences of others that have gone through it. If you cheat what causes it? If you lack the strength to fight temptation once, what's to say you can fight it off if the opportunity arises again? I saw it happen in my first wife not once but twice. I have know personally over my 52 years of age 12 different friends(7 men and 5 women) that have had spouses cheat on them and out of the 12, four of the men were repeat offenders and three of the women were also. That's not to say that you cannot be an exception to the rule, but it usually has been a higher number of them repeating than not. I guess that's why it's normal for most of us to classify all cheaters of having an inability to be faithful.
2007-03-07 21:18:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never seen the statistics, either, but I keep hearing people say that.
Personally, I disagree. I've been on both sides, the one who did the cheating, and the one who was cheated on. There were extenuating circumstances at the time, not that that's an excuse. We were both young, irresponsible, and stupid. Not willing to put all that work into our marriage. So we each took the easy way out. Thankfully, we came to our senses afterwards, and have been working on us ever since. It's been... almost 6 years now, and I can honestly say that cheating is not an option for either of us. Not to say life has been easy for the past 6 years, because we do have tons of stress in our lives, but we're committed to our marriage. I'm truly not concerned about him (or me) cheating again, and I'm sure many people think that's either naive or stupid, but I really believe we both learned our lessons.
People in a happy marriage don't cheat. It's when there's problems at home that they stray. So if you really work at having a happy marriage, there's no reason for either partner to cheat.
And you're right... the guilt, shame, pain... it's NOT worth it.
2007-03-07 21:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by ~StepfordWife~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont believe once a cheater always a cheater.
I beleieve people can change and if they are truley remorseful deserve a second chance......depending on the situtation of course, there are times that can and will be trully unforgiveable.
People cheat if they are not happy, but it doesnt fix anything, however once that trust has been broken it takes a long time to heal, but if youre willing to forgive then its worth it.......its a long hard road on both parties to get back what was once had, and its definatly a 2 way street.
2007-03-07 22:22:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know any statistics but the old saying holds true for most. Not everyone will cheat a second time. Most people that cheat may not want to do it again but because of poor judgment or lack of concern they will do it anyway.Everyone I know of that has cheated in the past has did it to someone else in another relationship.
2007-03-07 21:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife cheated a decade ago, and even moved out for a short time and asked for a divorce that she never followed through with. She returned to me, apologetic and shamed. A counselor we saw did tell us that MOST people who cheat once will do it again. But my wife is like you, and has not strayed.
2007-03-07 22:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. In my ex's case she did it three separate times. She was manic depress...wouldn't stay on her meds etc.
The reason you give for not doing it are kind of lame. Its like all of it wasn't worth it. Well what the hell did you expect? Like it would all be worth it?
I would certainly hope that you would take the position of...if you don't want to be with him then leave him. Don't let waste someones time and energy if you don't want to be with him. Go play the field get it out of your system and then kick yourself in the *** 10yrs from now when you are getting dumped on and see your ex living the happily ever after.
You need more counseling.
2007-03-07 21:06:46 · answer #7 · answered by jackofonetrade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea the statistics, but I think it all depends on the person and the relationship they're in.
2007-03-07 21:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by 1978girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i was hoping to find a web site that would show you the statistics you were looking for but i couldn't find one. i did however find a website dedicated just for people looking to cheat.. too funny
2007-03-07 21:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by simplyme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was able to save my marriage thanks to my family and friends. I also read a lot about marital issues and tips on how to save your relationship. The ebook on this site helped me a lot http://savemarriage.toptips.org
Check it out it's worth it.
2014-09-26 06:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋