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My partner of 7 years and I split up over three months ago. We have a 5 year old son together and have decided to maintain our friendship. As a stipulation, because we still occasionally have sex, we agreed that if either of us became attracted to another person we would tell each other so as to not lead each other on thinking that we were still trying to get back together. Recently he left his cell phone at my place. He always locks it so I can't access it, but this time it was unlocked. Curiousity got the better of me and I browsed. I found a text message to a "just a friend" with a cartoon pic of a man kissing a girls hand with a heart on his face with a text attached saying goodnight. I know we're not together, but this still hurt me to find. He's been known to lie before when I found out about him makig advances on other woman. Should I confront him about this text message?

2007-03-07 12:37:02 · 13 answers · asked by Vixen 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

13 answers

You can't persuade him to do anything. If you are still having sex with someone that you don't trust, if they lie & have lied in the past it's on YOU. The old saying "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me" totally applies here.
Find someone new & quit giving a liar the time of day OR don't whine when the past repeats itself. It's really very simple & totally your choice.

2007-03-07 12:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

If you are not married and you do not live together how could either one of you say anything to the other about who you see or what you do? Without some sort of commitment between the two of you I don't understand where you think he answers to you or you to him? The only common bond you have between you is a child. That is not a basis for trust or commitment. And as far as sex occasionally, do you trust not to get an STD from this guy? You said it already - you two split up three months ago. Agreeing to be friends does not give you a right to invade his privacy or decide who he can or cannot see.

2007-03-07 12:46:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I've learned that when you have a man who lie as a Way of life,....you can't change him at all .....not just lying but anything he's use to doing as a way of life. when you have someone like this in your life the only thing you can do is pray for God to change them....and pray that God give you the strenght you need to not be stressed out and depressed and drained mentally......when you see clearly like you do....that adds insult to them they are use to being some kind of player in there on mind ALONE.. living life thinking that they are pulling the wool over people eyes but indeed the only one they end up fooling and confused in the long run are themselves . They never establish a sense of true identity for themselves and many of them tend to live life in a self imposed fantasy world where they think they Control the ones around them and the outcome / and course of any relationship they have whether it be personal, work = co-workers, family and friends and anyone that are able to see them but not actually discover who they are/aren't.......They're biggest fear is living life in reality and honesty and true respect to the life they were given and the lives they come into contact with.

2007-03-07 13:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

He will never change. It's good that you can maintain civility since you have a child together, but forget the sex part. You need to make a clean cut from him, so that cell phone stuff won't matter. You can confront him, but he will lie, I don't know that I would bother. Good luck!

2007-03-07 13:42:17 · answer #4 · answered by kimgirlscout 2 · 0 0

we first we cant help you in case you do not prefer to be helped. purely think of roughly this do you somewhat wanna take the possibility of being incorrect?? i advise extremely existence in hell simply by fact your to proud to confess you do not have administration and we quote the bible simply by fact the bible has something for every physique in it and btw chatting with non-Christians is somewhat very very terrifying simply by fact in being human we certainly care what human beings think of no remember how not undemanding we attempt to not we accomplish that we are nervous what you will think of yet we over come that concern a sprint by using employing the bible as a connection with what we are asserting. i don't be responsive to if this might help you yet i will basically attempt

2016-10-17 12:49:35 · answer #5 · answered by fugere 4 · 0 0

Read the first couple sentences of your own question. YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER, if its over maybe you should not have sex for this very reason. YOu're not together anymore, NO you should not confront, that ain't your man anymore, move on.

2007-03-07 12:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by Cat 2 · 0 0

wow what an interesting relationship. i guess you could probably confront him about it but how do you explain your"browsing" through his personal items. if you don't trust him then maybe it is time to change the parameters of your relationship. there are way to many std's out there to be playing russian roulette with someone you don't realy trust.

2007-03-07 12:47:45 · answer #7 · answered by simplyme 3 · 0 0

Since you are split up, I think you need to stop torturing yourself and wasting time on him---don't you deserve more?

2007-03-07 13:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 1 0

you deserve better move on quit messing with him and find a man who's worth it u owe it to yourself

2007-03-07 12:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

That's why it's called mind yo' bizznizz! How do you think he feels when you bustdown?

2007-03-07 12:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by andy486 1 · 0 0

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