My fianc'e and I have been together for 7 years. Recently he discovered I was lieing about some money issues, and It was a big deal. He wanted me to move out and for us to take a 6 month break. I convinced him to let me stay for a month and work on our relationship, and at the end of the month we would re-evaluate. That was on Sunday. The next day I noticed him spending hours on myspace, so when he left I logged on to his account. He is e-mailing this girl that "we won't be together for long", and "could he have her # so they could meet up". I have the oppertunity to move out of state, to an apartment and a new job, if we split up. I am 23 and we have no kids. I just want some input.... should I stay? When I told him about the move, he said he wanted to wait out the month, but he also wants me to give him my next 2 paychecks, to make up for the $ stuff. I think he just wants me to stay so he can get the money. But 7 years is a long time. as you can tell I have NO CLUE WHAT TO DO. HELP!
2007-03-07 12:08:48 · 18 answers · asked by justme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There's no upside to staying. At the end of 30 days you will be gone and so will your money. What is it that you think will improve in the next month, based on your question?
1. Take your next paycheck and put a deposit on the apartment in the other state.
2. Tell him that you accept his request for a 6 month break. You will be in the other state at a new job. In 6 months you can talk again about your future.
3. If you still owe him money, give him some money as a partial payment toward paying him back but know what other expenses you will have in moving.
4. Tell him you will be out by xx/xx/xx and name a date that you can hit. Put any of your goods in a storage facility if necessary.
Money issue is a smokescreen to get you to leave, IMO.
2007-03-07 12:19:38 · answer #1 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will you have the same opportunity to move out of state in a month? I hope you aren't moving out and straight into another guy's apartment and life. That would be a huge error. Why not stay the month and pay up and be respectable. Just don't expect things to be like they were between you. In his mind the relationship is probably over. But you still owe him. Don't go the revenge or user route. You'll end up feeling better about yourself if you do the right thing. And when he looks back on the relationship is this what you want him to remember about you...that you were a liar and user? This makes me think of an old quote, "To thine own self be true." If you can't do this for him , do it so you'll always be able to hold your head up. Good luck!
2007-03-07 12:21:52 · answer #2 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I strongly believe he has been trying to hook up with other chicks for a while now. You just didnt know it. The money issue, is giving him an easy excuse to get rid of you.
Most people in love will work it out together, He doesnt want you anymore.
Please leave, and start again. He is over you.. now you need to get over him and get a real life.
As for the money... dont give him anything until he gives you a copy of all the bills, and you guys can sit down and cut everything in half as it is. Thats fair.
As for the lying about money... dont ever do that again. Come clean when it happens. Long term relationships deal with money issues everyday. You both have to be trustworthy and safe with what you have, or you will wreck your relationship and your financia lives.
2007-03-07 12:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by Dawn H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tricky situation. You started this relationship around 16 i assume so it could be hard to just up and leave. On the other hand it doesn't sound like he has been treating you like a man treats his fiance. I think you have to think back to why you started dating him and why you said yes to marry him and if you still feel that way. If you do i say work for it and if you don't then the relationship may not have the happiest of endings. If you do owe him money you should probably pay him back and if you don't owe it to him don't give him a penny.
2007-03-07 12:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by drummergrrl2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he is talking to other girls on myspace then I tihnk that he has already made up his mind~! He probaly does just want you to stay so he can get the money from you....I dont know what exactly happened, but my question is was it that bad of a "money" problem that your relashonship is over because of it???If I were you I would leave and I know that 7 years is a long long long time ,but it seems as if your relashonship is already ruined.......With men, they dont forget~! They are not like us women at all~! You can try to talk to him, but if not I would leave and try to go on with your life the best way you can~! Good Luck~!~!~!
2007-03-07 12:17:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should stay. You will be better off in the new state, apartment and job. The trust has been broken in this relationship and that is not healthy for you.
Do not give him your paychecks. You have to take care of yourself. You will need that money to start a new life.
2007-03-07 12:12:30 · answer #6 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There seems to me to be one major underlying problem here - TRUST. First off, you lied to him about money - one of the top reasons couples break up in the first place. Second, you went into his personal account to see what he was doing online. Absolutely no WAY is there any reason to be snooping through his personal affects. What do you think he's going to think of you going through his personal account? Honey, it seems you keep digging yourself into a hole with this guy.
I can't tell you it is wrong that he was trying to meet up with another girl. You have treated him badly and given him two reasons to leave you. You have to accept the consequences of your actions.
Hopefully you learn from your lying and don't do it to him again if you repair the relationship, or you don't lie to the next man you go out with.
2007-03-07 12:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by lanibear55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay. i like you to stay, CareBears have an particularly marvelous azzes. do not understand if i'm a perv or no longer. yet i like CareBear butts. yet you're also a reliable questioner and answerer, humorous and characteristic wonderful avatar. regardless of the truth that you'll finally end up to be a guy contained in the basement. or a woman in an place of work cubicle. Edit: "The an" is a suitable grammar, yet I wronged it.
2016-12-05 09:34:26 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE. Don't give him a penny. You no what is coming, so why part with the cash. He is only going to spend it on her. Take your money and run. Leave this looser while you can still pay your rent on your new place. Get on with things. Someone nice will come along for you. You are too sweet to deserve this treatment.
2007-03-07 12:14:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would totally BREAK IT OFF! Dont spend more time with this guy! move on to someone that deserves you. he sounds like he has been cheating to tell you the truth, and he doesnt want to be alone so he'll find a girl by the next month so he can leave you...
2007-03-07 12:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by 128333 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋