Its just about that time of year again when the weather gets warmer, and my daughter goes shopping. Somehow the fashions seam to get smaller, tigher, or both!!! lol... Any other moms or dads dealing with this? How do you deal with it? Set rules? Or just chalk it up to "the times"?? - THANKS!
2007-03-07 12:08:09 · 34 answers · asked by Yahoo! 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well these days fashion is like the "in thing." As long as the designs, styles and colors are decent it should be alright so that she does not have to feel like an "Ugly Betty" around people. =<)
2007-03-07 12:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by Sir Grandmaster Adler von Chase 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know you asked for a parent's perspective, but I'm a teen and I just thought I'd put my two cents in here. When I was in eighth grade or so, I really wanted to wear all the skimpy clothes: have my belly button show, wear tight jeans, spaghetti strap tank tops, etc. My mom wouldn't let me and now I'm glad she didn't. Finally she got through to me (and I guess just my own observations of how other people and I look helped me figure it out too) and I finally realized that small, tight things are NOT flattering if you overdo it. But still, every now and then I wear something that my fairly conservative mom has a problem with: a low cut top, for example. She nags me for it, but basically lets me wear everything I want to wear.
So that's pretty much what I think you should do. Set some sort of guideline for what she can and cannot wear, or go shopping with her or something. Be reasonable... check out what other girls her age are wearing and try to find some midpoint (she shouldn't be among the sluttiest girls, obviously, but she shouldn't be on the really conservative end, either). And if you have a pretty good fashion sense yourself, you could help her pick out things that are fashionable, flattering AND not too revealing. You're not going to agree with her on everything, of course, and that's part of "the times." But as time goes by, you'll probably start to see eye to eye a bit more.
2007-03-07 12:18:08 · answer #2 · answered by Blondie 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I do set reasonable limits. The tightness sometimes can't be helped because of the way clothes are made for teen girls, but I do not allow the stomach to show. If the top is too low, then she has to wear a camisole underneath - - - and you can find some really color-coordinated pretty ones. Shorts are tricky too. If she bends over and I can see her "cheeks" then it is a no-buy deal. But she's pretty smart when it comes to modesty. So luckily, we don't have fights over her clothing.
2007-03-07 18:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 10 yr old just tried to go outside today with a bathingsuit top paired with her jeans claiming that it's so hot outside she has to wear something cool.
I said, "So that boy across the street you have a crush on had nothing to do with your clothing choice? Go put a shirt on!"
My advice, stay on them! Never just blow it off or chalk it up to "the times". Kids know we care by the rules we set. I was a product of not enough supervision and I got pregnant while still in high school. I know what the kids are faced with and I head it off agressively.
Middle school scares the crap out of me, those kids are trying so hard to be grown up and they're just barely leaving childhood.
Most of all, keep your kids busy with after school activities. Don't allow them the TIME to get into trouble.
2007-03-07 14:12:56 · answer #4 · answered by jhvnmt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old is your daughter? Go clothes shopping with her so you can provide some guidance. I recently went clothes shopping with my sister and her teenage daughter (13). My niece was somewhat drawn to the popular too-short skirts, but she was easily dissuaded when an older cousin, aunt and mom all thought it was a Little too 'hoochie-mama.' In the end she found a dress that was adorable. She looked so mature in it, but it was completely tasteful. From her own comments now, it seems like she's starting to internalize some of the same values (modesty) that we have.
2007-03-07 12:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I haven't gotten there with my daughter but my MIL has a 12 year old and is tackling this one at the moment. She simply doesn't buy anything she doesn't approve of. When I was that age my mother simply explained that the attention I would get wouldn't be the attention I wanted. That people wouldn't like me for me they'd like me for what I let them see. It made sense when I was 13 and it still makes sense now.
2007-03-07 17:22:58 · answer #6 · answered by evilangelfaery919 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set rules and chalk it up as the times. Let them know that they can wear this on the condition of deceny and protection. Negotiate. It worked for me when I stated that if they wear it indecent way then they weren't going to see it again. That did the trick for me!
2007-03-07 14:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by Mamadisco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With what money does she buy her clothes? If you give her the money then you can take her shopping, find together what she likes and what you approve of. You can choose a style and she can choose color.
If she buys stuff with her baby-sitting money then probably before buying clothes she should start paying rent to you, and pay for food and cleaning services that you provide.
YOU are the one in control, so you can explain to her that a girl can dress fasionably even without looking slutty.
2007-03-07 13:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by TATAAAAAH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well my daughter is 11 and she wants to wear these short clothes or belly outs.what i do is this ,i allow her to wear them once they not to short or to reveiling,but when she is with me....Now if she goes out to the park let's say with her freinds i have to see what she's wearing. If i dont agree, what i do is tell her change her shirt or pants for another one that i think looks better and just talk in her preteen language and insiste the shirt she changed into looks way better...like say something like the color brings out your eyes more. When she feels she looks good she won't argue with you. Try it!!
Just think on giving a litle and taking a little.
2007-03-07 15:56:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you're the parent and you need to set boundaries for what you want your kids wearing. All kids (especially teenagers) want to be fashionable.. and "fit in".. (considering the fact that I am one..) and.. I think you should just let her wear what expresses herself. It's her style...
If you think what she's wearing is very innapropriate (REALLY short skirts... "slutty" outfits.. etc.) then you can talk to her about it and tell her to tone it down a bit. Mini skirts are stylish, tight jeans... etc. it's all about the fashion ;) .. so i say "if it doesnt hurt anyone.. then it cant hurt you!"
2007-03-08 07:52:50 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ aaalex. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋