I knew something was wrong so I set up a meeting to learn better communication, in the last minutes my wife said I've done everything I can it's over. Only she never told me there was a problem. She never cryed at home, when she walked in she would smile, she would kiss me, shower with me, eat meals, sleep with me and have sex with me. She kissed me right before we went in to the meeting. I will not give up on my love for her, it's the deepest love she will know. She became to close to a co-worker. He has layed down the law and told her that she is married, nice! Now she says she is confused, no kidding. Thanks
2007-03-07 11:55:40 · 14 answers · asked by Littlebunk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She sounds like she is really messed up right now. Good for you for not giving up on your marriage. She went to the communication meeting so it shows that she is still trying. She also has not moved out or slept with anyone else so there is still a lot of hope. People go through changes and make mistakes. Hopefully this is just a mistake on her part and I hope that she will realize that before it is too late. She is lucky to have a man in her life who is willing to forgive her. As for why she showed no signs of there being a problem that is probably because she was trying to hide her feelings. Why she decided to tell you at that moment - who knows. Maybe it was because it was a safe place and there was someone else there and she knew you could not really react. Good luck.
2007-03-07 12:45:12 · answer #1 · answered by chanajane3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you tried to learn communication skills too late.
The cruel thing is that a marriage only works if both parties are trying to make it work. At some time your wife stopped trying and started looking. Maybe she had reason for this but her lack of communication skills stopped her from letting you know the problems. You only sensed a problem after it was all over for her so you started to fix something that she already felt was finished.
Now you really have little say in the outcome. She has to change her mind back to the concept of trying to fix something that she has already given up on. If you love her you need to give her space and time to make her mind up. If she decides to fix the problems her commitment will ensure success, if she decides to go you can only wish her good luck and happiness.
If you try to pressure her you are likely to get a reconcilliation which will fail at some later date.
Hard and uncomfortable truths I am afraid, but better to face it than fool yourself.
2007-03-07 22:33:17 · answer #2 · answered by John B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not all women end it like this. She obviously was really good at covering up how she was feeling inside and it went too far and too long before seeking and getting help for the marriage. This may not be the deepest love she will ever know though as you cannot really say that for sure. Keep trying to work on it and save your marriage if there is any hope left at all here. Good luck to you.
2007-03-07 20:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the same thing to me WHILE he was having an affair. I NEVER thought things were that bad. They were not great, but he showed the same kind of effort your wife showed you, so when I found out about the affair, I was snowballed. Some people just dont know how to communicate that its that bad and would rather go on pretending that they have a rosy life at home, while self destructing in the mean time. Give your wife space and tell her how you feel about her. She either loves you or she dont, but you cant make her love you. I wish you luck.
2007-03-07 20:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if all women end them that way, but I'm sure it's common. She didn't want you to know anything was wrong until she figured it out for herself. I tell my husband what's bothering me and he comforts me at the time, but nothing changes, so I"ve started just pretending everything's fine. I don't want my daughter to see us argue or unhappy all the time. Let her figure out what it is she wants, give her space, but the best advice I can give you (assuming she's anything like me) is to lay off on telling her how much you love her. If she starts to realize you can live without her and what life is like without your love, she'll realize what she'll be missing. That may not be enough to persuade her otherwise, but you will look like the stronger person!
2007-03-07 21:12:12 · answer #5 · answered by 1978girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though she got caught up with this other man and is trying to find an excuse of why she is leaving you. She sounds like she was unfaithful and fell for this other guy. My suggestion is to start going out and having fun. Start looking and dressing your best. Show her that two can play the game and start living your life
2007-03-07 21:20:13 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is enamoured with her idea of this man. It is not real it is fantasy. She doesn't know that he runs his index finger between his toes when he takes his socks off and then wants to touch her face and kiss her. She needs to stop all contact with this man and work on what might be broken in your marriage.
2007-03-07 20:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope
2007-03-07 20:19:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well at least the meeting for communication worked
2007-03-07 20:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by simplyme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a crush dude, just get over it.
she is giving you all the fun and sex, why should you worry about
a co worker.
get back to your normal life and you two act more mature or just get a divorce and go sow your wild oats.
2007-03-07 20:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋