A lot of people think i am too young to be married and have a kid. Why is that?

Question

They think just because im under 20 years old that i am a bad mom, or wife, and make mean comments. Im allways afraid of what people think! What should I do?

Answer 1

Hold you head up high if you are concerned of what people think you are a good mom and wife. I work in a school office and believe me we have some moms that are 30/40 and aren't good moms. Age does not make you good or bad your actions do.

Answer 2

I had my first child at 18 and I married at 19. In one year I had 2 children, a husband and I was only 19 years old. I heard it all too. One thing I do know is that when you are young, you marry for what seems like the right reasons. You think you love him and he loves you, but you haven't had enough life experiences to know what real love is and what it can do for your life. I know because after we married he became abusive and I ended up divorcing him. I am now 26 yrs old remarried and w/ 3 kids and I couldn't be happier. Life is it's own lesson. Do what you feel is the right thing for you and your child. You will always get comments, but be strong and let your convictions lead you. Let your child be your focus and you can't go wrong. You will make mistakes, you are human. You could be 40 and w/ child and still be a bad parent and wife. Brush your shoulders off and raise your child. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I got the same beef from others. I got married only 2 months after my 20th birthday and got pregnant 7 months later. My husband's mom actually told us when I announced I was pregnant that I was too young and I should have waited to have a baby. My husband at first stood up to her because I felt like I couldn't. Eventually though I told her that I am a grown, married woman and I was capable of deciding what I was and wasn't ready for in my life. My best advice is let them know that you are grown and that your life is your own and you are free to make the decisions you have made. You sound like an awesome mom and a mature woman. You also love your child and you do your best for him/her and that makes you mature than half of the "adults" out there. Don't let people make you feel any less.

Answer 4

Because you ARE too young. Doesn't make you a bad mom or wife, it's just you ARE very young. Under 20 is young! Much of the time, people wait to get married and have kids. If you choose to do something that sets you apart from the crowd, you just have to get used to a certain amount of attention that it produces. If you feel you're making the right choices - what does it matter what others say? Just do your own thing.

Answer 5

You are old enough to stop worrying about what other people think. The only thing that matters is your own opinion. Do you think that you are too young for these things? Are you going to be able to put aside your own wants and needs and dedicate yourself to nurturing your marriage and a baby? It takes a lot of work, so don't think it will come easy. If you can answer all of these questions positively then go for it! If you are already there just do your best and ignore those that put you down.

Answer 6

First of all, stop being afraid of what others think. It's not a great idea to have a baby so young, but it happens and it doesn't make you a bad mom. I remember after I left my abusive husband I was walking down the street with my 3 year old and some jerk yelled something to me about good for nothing welfare moms. I was so upset, especially since it happened in front of my boy. That guy didn't know me from a whole in the wall. I was on welfare for only a short time after I left, to get back on my feet, but at that time I was working my @$$ off trying to make a life for me and my boy. I spent more time at work than with him! What should you do? Ignore them, flip them the bird, whatever, but just know that it's their prob, not yours!

Answer 7

If you live by yourself for a few more years you will be learning some important lessons in life. It is not that you could not be a great mom and wife at this age, it is more about the things you would be missing. Think about it, 20 years from now, if you are unhappy in your marriage how will you be able to rebuild your life after a divorce if you have no experience in being by yourself? How will you have the confidence in yourself if you never tried supporting yourself?

Why hurry? Is it a burning need to be a mom? Is it some other pressure?

If you have the option, you will be happy that you waited.

Answer 8

We live in a different world now...not "beaver cleaver land" and you are not "june cleaver"

Women today have many options in life to be independent and to become a success. Unfortunately, this takes time, so now women wait till they are in their 30's to get married and have children.

I got married when I was 33 and now I am 34 and my husband and I are expecting our first child.

When I was in my 20's I graduated from college, I was able to travel the whole world, and I tell you I have some wonderful memories and some awesome experiences.

I am so glad that I waited to get married and have a child because I would have lost all of the wonderful opportunities that life has blessed me with.

Answer 9

Your inexperienced thats all..I thought the same thing when I had a child at 19. That I knew everything and that I could handled it. I'm 34 now and I look back and I knew nothing. Life takes experience and time before you can get a grip on it...why not use those who are older than you to draw on experiences and learn from their mistakes so you don't make your own.

Don't push them away...They just have a different perspective on it then you do. You'll be happy you took the time to listen when your older

Answer 10

A person's decision making doesn't fully mature until 25 years of age. With that in mind you're probability of failure in anything is relatively higher than someone older. Of course there are always some exceptions, like McEnroe winning a grand slam at age 17. Or did he lose to Bjorg?