If you found out your girlfriend/wife was a transsexual, would you leave her?

Question

A post op transsexual, I mean. Obviously it'd be impossible to hide being pre op unless you had no sex life >:)

I've always been upfront with the men (and woman) I've been involved with. I may not always tell them I'm a transsexual within 5 minutes of meeting them, but if the relationship is going somewhere--even if it's just to the bedroom--I will be honest about my pre-op status. And honestly, most guys I've told either don't mind, or get over it pretty quickly.

But--once I'm post op, I'm not sure if my opinion will change. Obviously if a relationship got really serious I would reveal all, but if you're just dating someone casually, or it's a one night stand, do these people have a right to know? I'll be a WOMAN then, just as much as one who was born a woman. I know a post op transsexual girl in California who strips at a straight strip joint, and the men who drool over her might beat her up if they knew she was once a man. Can you blame her for not revealing her past?

Answer 1

I wouldn't blame your friend for not revealing her past.

It's a really difficult situation. When you're post op, I think it totally depends on the situation... the timing of when to tell someone. If it's a one night stand that you know if just going to stay a one night stand, why risk humilitation and/or a bad reaction? If a relationship is going somewhere, and you find a time that feels right to tell that person, at the very least, you are fortunate to be able to find out who really cares for you and why. If you've found that men usually get over the news quickly, or don't care, you obviously know how to go about it well.

Good luck... with everything. Surgery and beyond!

Answer 2

That's an interesting question. It would be the same if a girl was dating a "guy" she later found out had once been female. I think if you're in a relationship with someone and you grow to care about them, maybe love them, I don't see how that love would automatically change in an instance. I do think that most straight men would feel very threatened, maybe even angry, and they probably would leave. I also think that even as a beautiful pre or post op transexual that many men do know what they're getting into, and whether they want to admit it or not, they're intrigued. Men are often so, so much into the visual anyway that they really don't try to get to know a person from the inside out. I think that you should say something before becoming intimate though, because it's just drama that you don't need.

Answer 3

I think so far you’re doing the right thing. Obviously you can’t tell men the minute you meet them, but I know you’ve always been honest before it reaches the bedroom part.

When you get the full operation it could be a bit awkward. My fear for you would be that you sleep with some guy and then he turned psycho when he found out. Semper Fi 83’s answer wasn’t very tactful, but he was being honest and I’m sure a lot of men would feel like that.

I’ve seen your picture on here and you look lovely. I’m sure a lot of men would love you for who you are (even if they knew your past). All I can say is “be very careful”, some straight guys could take the news badly. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

If found out that my girlfriend was a transsexual woman I stay with her I marry her and I don't care what my family thinks about I love her and we would have wild and kinky sex I love that and I want my girlfriend to dress me up as a woman I love to be her b i t c h for life until the end sexy and hot girly

Answer 5

Hello Im Teri and I'm pre-opt M2F Ts woman, and have been one for many years, and also been with my mate for almost 3yrs, now for some of you guys, it shouldn't matter, but I can understand all the homophobia that is running around, and to be honest it totally scares you to death to know, OMG that was or use to be a guy?.

I'm telling yall all it's not easy going through transition, like to see some of you bubba's try it, because you woldn't last a day at it. As for me, I'm me and very open, and tell it like it is, why? because I have been around the block more than a few times, dating men and women, and to be honest women understand a real TS woman better, but for the one that are just stepping out, well, your going to get read fast, I've seen it many, many times.

but for this question, try to understand the person, and understand her situation, going throught this transition, I say Yes, I would stay with her/him what every the amount of hardships, I'm in it for the long hual. because I love that person that much.

Thank you

Answer 6

Nope. When I found out my girlfriend was a pre-op transsexual, I remained with her during the period she transition into a guy and afterwards. I broke up with him 6 months later, for reasons unrelated to transitioning.

Though not together, I still love him.

Answer 7

Well the person didn't love you enough to level with you. It says that I'm there due to not knowing the truth. It makes me wonder what ellse the man hasn't told me. That's not love to me; it's deceitful. I have ever right to know the facts. I am woman; hear me roar. I want a man who has been a man since day one wasn't one until year thirty-one.

Answer 8

I am a pre-op TS and I would never leave her because I know what she has been through.

Answer 9

No matter if it's just a one night stand, I think you should tell this person.

As for leaving someone because of a transition, my opinion is that love should be unconditional.

Answer 10

I would laugh and reveal that I was pre-op.