I've been dating a nice guy for a few months. It bothers me that he doesn't wash his hands or shower enough, and his house is gross.
Also, oddly he doesn't seem to know a lot of basic things about women and a lot of society's general things. He's been married twice; how could he not know these things?He has a master's degree.
His apartment was messy,nasty bathroom, but he had a roommate and people say 'Oh, guys bathrooms are like that' so I let it go.
He showers daily,but is often outside at work and dirty.Then comes over, but doesn't shower. I always freshen up before I see him.
I recently saw him not wash his hands after going to the bathroom! Now I don't want him to touch me. I mentioned it, and he does it a bit more, but like it's new to him!
His house-Oh my Gosh! I quietly freaked out.Yeah it's in the country, but 100's of bugs inside, cobwebs, inches of dust and dog hair. White couch gone brown. Toilet, kitchen beyond scary. He's 43. You can't change someone can you?
2007-03-07 11:27:28 · 9 answers · asked by Marie123 3 in Health ➔ Men's Health
I giggled a little bit when I saw this question because it reminds me a little bit of someone I know - my better half. He had "issues" with cleaning as well. The one thing I can tell you is that intelligence = no common sense. It seems as though smart men have no common sense and things like that don't bother them. My better half could tell you how many light years away some moon of Jupiter is and thermodynamics and whatnot, but couldn't tell you what product to use to clean the toilet.
You can't really change a man, but you can make accommodations. We currently share the cleaning and have been since we first moved in together long ago. Find a happy medium (if possible). Otherwise, you may be in for something you don't want - a funky toilet and bugs everywhere!
Hope this helps (and I wish you and Mr. Clean the best)!
2007-03-07 13:09:19 · answer #1 · answered by quacky_hijinks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right; you can't change somebody. But, you can also find someone better.
Be lovingly honest with him. Be gentle, but direct. Explain that this is a serious concern to you. Clarify that if the relationship is to progress, he needs to commit to improving in this area. He may just need to be shown how to do these things.
however, do NOT fall into the trap of doing it/them FOR him. Give him a reasonable timframe to learn, & then take it from there. If he's too dense to get it; move on.
and remember; someone can be intellegent while being dumb, too. Wisdom is knowing WHAT to do; knowledge is knowing HOW to do it.
2007-03-07 11:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
it's beyond repair, put it to rest and move on. if he has not learned by now, he will never learn.
sometimes it takes a women to demand a change in hygiene, sometimes it works and sometimes NOT!
tell him to come over looking a respectful/decent and start showering and washing his hands.
after you tell him that, if he starts working on changing his habits then he's willing to work on the relationship, if not then you need to brake it off and Move ON!
their is No Hope!
good luck...
2007-03-07 13:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by Just me! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His probably beyond any reasonable readjustment w/o a real good shrink,
Odds are since he has 2 ex's your not gonna change him, time for you to move on too
2007-03-07 11:47:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you cook him a nice meal, give him a backrub, and clean his house? Are you that selfish and lazy? sheesh!
2007-03-07 11:47:13 · answer #5 · answered by work_thenplay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like the perfect guy lol you better hold on to him or else some lucky girl might snatch him from you lol
2007-03-07 12:16:51 · answer #6 · answered by who me? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a slob that's why the other girls left him
2007-03-07 13:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by the black hand 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you can't
2007-03-07 11:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by Dusie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh...
2007-03-08 06:22:17 · answer #9 · answered by Kaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋