Why is 19 too young to be married and pregnant?

Question

My husband and I got married right before I turned 19, so I was 18 and he was 21. We're now 19 and 22, and have been married for 7 months. I got pregnant 3 months after our wedding and we're expecting our first baby August 22, 2007.

I have never felt at all like I'm missing out on anything. My husband is wonderful to me, and it makes me wonder why I get so many rude comments when people find out I'm pregnant. So many people think that everyone is irresponsible at 19.

I think that maturity has more to do with what kinds of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I graduated high school, I'm currently in nursing school, and I think my husband and I will be great parents.

So why do so many people think that I'm "too young"? How should I respond to rude comments like "I can't even imagine having a baby at 19"? That's just one of the comments I've gotten.

I'm not sure what people think I'm missing out on. I've had other relationships. I still have great friends. I still go out and have fun. I've traveled. I've had great life experiences. So why am I missing out? Because I choose to spend my life with someone I love instead of sleeping with a bunch more losers first?

Ok, for "nanny"... people change throughout their lives so maybe the person you married at 28 isn't the person you would have married at 35? That's just a silly way to look at it. As far as wyho will be the primary caregiver to my child, which has nothing to do with what I asked... I will be caring for my child as I am taking all of my classes at night. My husband will be home with our child in the evenings. Oh and it's pretty sad that you think that is what makes a good parent.

Answer 1

I got married at 18 and pregnant at 19, my son is now 4 months old and my life could not be better!! Congratulations and keep your head up! People will always make comments to you but..I always looked at it this way, I found love early and alot of people would do anything to have the kind of relationship I have with my husband...regardless of our ages!!

Answer 2

You know that is a vey good question,but I can tell you from the same situation You are doing great!
I am only 22, my husband 25, We have two kids, a one year old and a 2 1/2 year old, we are homeowners, and are salary paid. I love every minute. We met when I was 18 and have been great and strong since. So, I am a great example that you can make a life at a young age and not miss a moment that you never even had. Thinking about what could have happened if this and if that, is a waste of time. If you are happy, awesome! One difference is that my husband makes enough money for me to stay home and raise the kids. I plan to further my education when the kids go to school. I would rather stay home with them, then put them into daycare or get a nanny. I hope everything works out good for you! It was funny my mother in-law just recently admitted to me that she didn't think that I would be able to take care of my kids and be a "housewife" at such a young age, but then she started crying and told me that I really surprised her and she was so grateful for me and her grand kids and son. So, people around you don't have a clue and sometimes the people close to you don't even have faith. Prove them all wrong and go to school, be happy with your new baby and husband. Be the best "young" mom and wife you can be.
I really hope this helps. It is so much easier to start young, then you can have everything you want at 35-40 and are still young enough to enjoy it.......
I am in a hurry and the spell check is broke............

Answer 3

I didn't even bother reading the other answers, so forgive me if I'm repeating what's already been said.
Most teenagers (and even a good portion of 20-somethings) are nowhere NEAR mature enough to be married. But, there are exceptions to every rule. If you're happy (and you sound it) and don't feel that you're missing out on anything, then you're not. It's all about perception. The people with the comments are remembering themselves at your age, and are amazed (and probably don't believe) that you can be happy settled down at that age.
As for a response... you could say "Well, thankfully I'm the one that's pregnant, then". Or try "Hmmm... I can't imagine having a baby at 35 (or close to their age), when I'd be too old to chase my toddler around, or using a cane at his HS graduation". That tends to get a not so positive response though!!! "Well, I guess I'm just a whole lot more mature at 19 than you were... (or are now)". My personal favorite was always "Well, I didn't have a hard time being pregnant at 15, so why would I have a hard time at 19"??? Had to love the reactions to that one.
Remember, it was yours & hubby's decision to marry... don't let others infringe on your happiness. People assume it's harder to marry young, because you still have growing up to do. But what they fail to see is how many 25, 35, 45 year old TEENAGERS there are out there getting married.
If you love each other, that's all that matters.

Answer 4

I was pregnant at 22 and married at 24. Age should have nothing to do with it, if to people are commited and ready for marriage and birth at 18-19 or any other age then go with it. My comment to people with smart remarks would be"people at 25 or 30 may never be ready for marriage or children where as a 16 year old maybe more mature and have better parenting skills then a 28 year old mother, age should not be a barrier, if you are stable, commited and ready for it then do it , it's your life no one elses, if they can't imagine being pregnant at 19 then thank god there not. Have fun and be happy, If you need help don't be scared to ask at any age...

Answer 5

tell those that make that comment they "can't imagine having a kid at 19!" "It's a good think its happening to me and not you then!" Those people are rude and no where is it written that you have to be a certain age to be married and have children! People look down on you because they are be stereotypical. Young people tend to be more immature...as they ought to be. But if you feel ready at 19 then you are ready. No one is complaining that some woman aren't ready until they are about 50! Who says age makes a better parent!? You will be able (God willing) to see all the milestones in your child's life because you started young. With having only a 19 year difference you will be able to enjoy more things with your child. (my opinion) Screw people who feel like you should live up too what THEY want...last time I checked they weren't the rulers of your universe! Do what you want and good luck in you new family!!!!

Answer 6

While I think 18 is too young for marriage, you seem to have set goals for yourself and working toward achieving them. Everyone is different.

Early marriage has been looked down on for so long that many people seem to be stuck in the status quo.

You graduated from high school, you are in nursing school (good luck with that...I'm an EMT) and you seem to be prepared for what life will bring.

You are right when you say that people mature at different rates. I got married when I was 26 and when I look back, I think I should have waited but that's water under the bridge.

Good luck. If people ask you why you got married so young or why you got pregnant so long, just tell them it's not their business. It really isn't unless you want to explain it to them Your life is your life.

I wish you luck. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. The point is not to lose sight of your goals. You will still experience life. Don't sweat it. Something tells me you'll be fine.

Answer 7

First of all, Congrats to the soon-to-be-mom. I really think you got it going on at 19. You're in school, you have a wonderful husband and so what you're pregnant. You only have one life to live and guess what you're living it! Keep your head up high and focus on your marriage and how you're gonna decorate your baby's room. It's girls out here 13 and 14 having babies, at least you're over 18.

Anyway, I'm 20 works as a CNA and in school going for MLT. I have no kids (but I do want some) and I can't even imagine myself saying something like that to you.

You keep doing you, regardless what other people think. Remain prayerful and thank the Lord everyday for all he has done and will do for you.

Wishing you many blessings,

Niecy :)

Answer 8

Because people sterotype all the time. Im am 19 in a serious relationship, you can be 16 and be as mature as an 21 year older. Its just that most people are not happy and are immature at that age so they expect everyone else to be

Answer 9

If you were both ready for marriage then you are not too young. You were both adults when you married. Yes most people prefer to be older when they marry but my aunt married at 16 and after 50 years they are still happy together and married. My sister married at 18 and they are still together and very happily married with 2 girls and 16 years later. Age really has nothing to do with it if you both are ready for the marriage and you marry for the right reasons. Good luck to the both of you! If that comment comes us just either do not answer them or say i cant imagine not having my precious baby now. I feel you both will definitley be great parents.

Answer 10

You are clearly the exception to the rule. So congratulations. Statistically though, the odds are against you. I mean, let's be honest. How many 19 year old women on here are married, pregnant, and happy with their husbands? So don't be offended if people are critical of you being married and pregnant at age 19. Look at the statistics!