My mom is a single mother with 4 kids, I being the oldest. We had a babysitter for all 4 of us but my mom fired her because she kept ruining our new house (scrubbing marble countertops with scouring pads). I am 13 years old and my mom makes me babysit my little brother and little sister afterschool while my baby sister is a daycare. This has been going on for about 2 months and I havent been able to do anything afterschool because I have to babysit my siblings. I keep asking my mom if she's looking for a babysitter and she says yes but I am positive that she isnt. She pays me $1 an hour just so I wont complain. I know I shouldnt but softball season is coming up and I cant play because practices are on the weekdays afterschool. I try to talk to my mom about this but she keeps saying "Its called helping out the family" and makes me feel guilty about it. Do you think its fair that I have to do this? Any advice? PLEASE HELP!
2007-03-07 11:02:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
That is a pretty tough choice, but your mom sounds desperate. Put yourself in her shoes - she is a single mother with a house to run and money she needs to make. Softball is important to you, and making sure her kids are in good care is important to her. It's time that the two of you made a compromise.
There may be a few reasons why your mom is not hiring a different babysitter. For one thing, she may not want to spend money on a babysitter if you're there. Or maybe she's too busy to hire one, or is forgetful. Instead of just randomly bringing up the topic of hiring a new babysitter out of the blue, sit your mom down and explain to her that you would like to stretch out the babysitting so that it suits both of you. For example, if you have softball three days a week, ask your mom if it is possible that she hire a part-time babysitter. If softball practices are every day after school, ask that your mom hire a different babysitter only for softball season. Explain to her that you know she's busy, but you would like a chance to participate in after-school activities and you do not want babysitting your siblings to interfere with that.
Mention that you're not trying to complain about babysitting but you would just like the opportunity to do some other activities as well.
It sounds like your mom is trying hard, so it may be time to let her know how you feel and make an agreement that has BOTH of you satisfied. That way, your mom can rest assured that you're happy and you can rest assured that your mom is satisfied and knows that everything is under control.
2007-03-07 11:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by Laurie 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Have you been in softball before? Is it something you plan to continue into high school? If so why don't you try to explain to your mom what it means to you to play. So some research into the subject of the benifits of kids being involved in team sports. Try to find a reliable trustworthy way to and from practice and try to find someone your mom will trust with your siblings that will work cheap or will possibly trade off with you. You babysit for them on the weekends or later in the evening. I know that my kids would be lost without their sports and it is a very valuable life experience, it teaches you so much. Talk to your mom and try to work it out. Or depending on your siblings ages and if you know any of the other parents on your team you may be able to take them with you to practice.
2007-03-07 14:55:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. Your mom is right, it is fair for you to help look after your siblings but this should not be a permanent arrangement. You are 13 years old and should be enjoying your childhood. Perhaps you could negotiate with your mom that you get a couple of days off. Look at it from her point of view too, sometimes finding a babysitter (a good realiable one) can be really, really hard.
2007-03-07 11:21:56 · answer #3 · answered by Ann A 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well......... You are 13, there is no reason why you cant help out. My son is 15 and he helps out and I never have to ask him too.
Its not your job to raise the other kids however ha few hours after school doesnt hurt anything. When I was a kid i had to come home and cook , and clean the house, then clean up from supper. I wasnt allowed to do anything. My mom was home sitting on the sofa doing nothing.
Maybe your mother cant afford one right now..... maybe she cant afford for you to be in after school activities. I dont know the situation. Talk to her but Im not sure anything will change.
My kids help out, but they are both ready for the new baby to come, they are comming to me begging me to tell them what their jobs can be. I think they need to be kids, I can handle it.... But ill give them something to do so they feel like an inportant part of ther new baby.
2007-03-07 11:16:20 · answer #4 · answered by tammer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey I know the feeling, I may be 19 but i been through the same ordeal with my sisters kids, Tell your mom you want to do the softball and you know she wants you to watch them, but you should be able to do things you want that will help you in life later on(sociual skills and more). If you can see if there is any way to earn money to help with daycare if not, are there any relatives near by that can help? Try to find anouther sitter that actually knows something of cleaning or just tell them not to clean.
If your mom cant afford the baby sitter you have to jsut deal with it. It may be hard and unfair but look at it from your mom's point of veiw ok. She is trying to support you and 3 others and is looking to you for support. Take pride in that. She is trusting you wih the care of them. If you read around you will find stories of sitters abusing them kids or kidnapping them worse sexual abuse. So take pride in the job your mom gave you.
Life is hard girl but trust me work hard and you will be rewarded
2007-03-07 12:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 younger children and no it is not fair, for one, no offense to you, but you're only 13 you are not old enough to be left w/ the responsibility of watching and caring for young children. In most states your mom would go to jail for child abuse, neglect, and endangering the welfare of a child. Yes your mom is a single parent and cudos to her and of course you should help out just as I expect my kids to help out, and I am not a single mom. That is just responsibility. Mom needs to remember your not trying to be selfish but there are many things as a teen you should not miss out on. Some motherly advice: approach her maturely an nicely and explain to her. I know it is hard but lay it out for her.
2007-03-07 17:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I have to say that what your mom is doing is not fair to you. You are her 13 year old daughter who has a life of her own and is a kid and should be acting like one and not playing mommy all day after school.
Your mother chose to have 4 kids, not you. It is okay for a parent or parents to get there child to help out once in a while but having them watch there siblings everyday in not fair to them nor is it right.
I really would advise you to sit down with your mom and tell her how you feel. Tell her you want to play Softball and tell her you want to start being a 13 year old kid, tell her you are totally fine with helping out now and then but the everyday stuff has to stop.
2007-03-07 12:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
duh you have to do it.. Having kids is hard especially when your a single mom..One day you'll have a baby' hopefully not too soon' and you need mommies help... everyone NEEDS help.. You should be happy that your mom is looking at you as an adult for taking care of your siblings..she'll look at you more of an adult if you dont take her money for taking care of your BLOOD... and think of it as if she hires a babysitter what if she hits them dont feed them gets high in the house.. theres ALOT of bad people out there dont think of it only as yourself think of it as im the oldest and its my responsibility and im gonna be with my family FOR LIFE.. lol.. softball can wait can't it?
2007-03-07 15:14:42 · answer #8 · answered by blue_is_troo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt have to raise your siblings. ur mom should find a babysitter cause u r only a kid once. as long as u help out twice as much when you are home it shouldnt be a problem. i understand how you feel about softball. you should be able to do something for your self
2007-03-07 15:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by <3 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dats not fair but im goiong thru the same thing only my mom isnt looking for a baby sitter and she doesnt mind telling me. so all i do is every time i get a chance to do somerthing i do n if it ruins her plans i let her kno thats how i b feelin 2
2007-03-08 03:02:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋