What do U think of my poem please..?

Question

"The day's just beginning, you see the girl you love, you don''t know what to do or say, you're friends, you talk to eachother everyday, on the phone, computer, etc...you're walking with her, talking, laughing, having the time of your life, the sun hits ya, you smile at her she smiles at you, it's time to say goodbye, you hug and walk off.....you're walking, past places where we played as kids, later you talk to eachother, time's ending, you say you'll see eachother tomorrow, you know what, you're in goddamn love, is there anything else better in the world"

Answer 1

I think its nice. All poetry that comes from the heart is nice, it does not need to rhyme, a poem is written emotions..and to me it sounds like thats what you did..
In a general opinion though, i would say that its nice but may be you might want to organize it better...

Answer 2

It needs a lot of work. Why don't you try rhyming sestina.

Answer 3

that doesnt look like a poem

Answer 4

life...sounds like you had a great day. peace