Strict Parents! HELP!?

Question

Im kinda asking the same question as that one other girl.
Im 13 years old, never been in trouble, AP classes for science language arts and social studies, 4.0 GPA, and totally good but my parents are really strict.

Things I cant do until im 16:
-drive (obliviously)
-paint my nails
-have a boyfriend
-color my hair (no highlights either) even if it comes off
-no makeup
-no going out after 6
-no staying up past 8 on school nights
-no myspace
-and hecka other stuff

I am 13 and yet I can do things that ALL my other friends get to do. They even took off my door off its hinges because they dont trust me. Im a straight A good teenager (kinda) yet my parents are really strict and barely let me do anything.

How can I get them to lay off a bit?

I said kinda because im not really a teenager, im only 13.

Answer 1

My friend's parents were the same way. I say WERE because she talked to them about it. She didn't yell or scream or cry, because that just proves you're not mature enough to do the things you want. She talked to them many times, she wrote notes to them and left them in her room, she printed out acts from the internet, and eventually, her parents gave in. It took about a month for them to cave on everything. and about the myspace, they don't have to know that you have one. Eveything is sent to your email and you just don't let them see you on it. hope I helped. Good Luck!!

(and just wondering, y no painting your nails? I began painting my nails before I could string together.)

And I would practice some different conversation starters. And definitly NO saying, "Well Jenna and Kelly and Isabel's parents let them do this...". NO! IT WILL NEVER WORK!!

Answer 2

Alot of these restrictions are really not THAT strict... though they do add up, and when you are living under the restrictions and wanting to spread your wings a little as you grow up, it can feel that way.

However, the first thing you need to do is make a mental adjustment on your part. You are not trying to get them to lay off of you. The fact that they are setting these limits is actually to help you, and that is not going to change. You also need to be realistic in your expectations about what you might be able to do.

So, what can you do? Pick a couple things... maybe painting your nails and staying up past 8. Approach your parents and explain that you think you are a good kid, keeping up your grades, and that you think you have earned the right to have a little more freedom in your life.

Painting your nails - explain that it might seem like a small thing, but that you would like permission to do something in terms of makeup both to let you express some individuality. This seems like something that is fairly straightforward, and could actually be a social activity with your friends in some cases. And that at some point in the coming years you will be wanting to wear some more makeup, and while that is maybe still a ways off, it would probably be better all the way around if you could have some experience to grow with.

As for staying up later, explain that you would like a little more freedom here. Maybe 9pm on school nights as long as you can show you are rested and ready to go for school in the morning. Ask if you can try that for a month or even a week to show you can handle it.

If they are willing to listen, and if they grant you additional freedom, you then have your part to do about following whatever agreements you have made. If you want to show more maturity, you could also offer to take on an additional household responsibility (since freedoms are often accompanied by other responsibilities).

Answer 3

Here's what you should do:

Talk to BOTH of your parents. Sit down in the living room, kitchen, whatever, and tell them why you think you should have more privilages. Say you are a good student, and you are a teenager now, and it is a little embarassing when you can't do most of the things your friends do. While they probably keep the no boyfriend and the hair, they might loosen up on others. Hope this helps!

God Bless!

Answer 4

All those rules sound great. My kids have to go out after 6 for music lessons and karate, and we homeschool, so their bedtime is much later. However, your parents probably have good reasons for those specific rules, too.

I'd just say that you ought to have a door on your bedroom. Not having a bedroom door when you are 13 is a serious violation of your privacy. Did you do something to merit that or is that just from out of left field? You should enlist a family member/friend your parents respect to get your bedroom door back. That's just wrong.

Answer 5

I know a lot of that stuff doesn't seem fair right now, but your parents are making these decisions out of love for you, I promise! I used to think my very strict mom was so mean, but now that I'm a little older (27) and have a daughter I get it. If you are doing as well as you say you are, then they are doing something right.

I have to say though, the list of things you can't do, doesn't seem unfair to me. The only thing I would let my 13 year old do is paint her nails, the rest I agree with. Just think, when you turn 16 you will be able to do so many things. That's something to look forward too, and it will come faster then you think.

Answer 6

yeah i understand i am around your age and parents can be like that.Well what i would do is sit them down and tell them all of the things you can't do and tell them that your friends can (some parents don't care if you say that but anyways) and tell them that you are not happy and in these years you want to have fun. You are a good student and get good grades( better than me lol) and you want to have some kind of fun and some things you should be able to have that everyone should have. Well just talk to them and tell them y you should have each thing on the list of things you can't do and i hope it works out with you.

Answer 7

Your parents are only trying to keep you out of trouble.

You have to be careful with things like MySpace...there are all sorts of freaks on that site, you can't trust anyone.

Just wait it out another few years...who knows, maybe they'll relax the rules a little bit if you keep getting good grades and earning their trust.

I couldn't wear makeup until I was 14. I didn't have my first "real" boyfriend until I was 19--and I wound up marrying him at the age of 20 (we've been married almost 14 years now--yes I'm old enough to be your mother). My parents didn't want me to date until I was at least 16...but I wound up choosing to wait a little bit, because I didn't want to have to deal with some guy pressuring me into the back seat, if you take my meaning.

So just bear with it. You won't be 13 forever!

Answer 8

I am sorry about your parents. i am the same age and dont even have that many rules. maybe you could try sitting down with one parent at a time and talking to them. explain to them that you really are a good girl and its time for a change in the rules. i mean you can't even paint your fingernails (thats so stupid) i mean whats the harm in that but anyways try doing extra stuff around the house. show them that you can be trusted and you wont screw up your life. tell them you aren't a little girl and expect to be treated like a young adult.

Answer 9

I'm 13 too and this is really unfair- It's gone too far when they took the door off the hinges- they should give you some kind of freedom since you have nice grades.

Answer 10

ask your parents calmly what have you done to break their trust and ask for little things tell them that your prepared to earn the priv. and if you break their trust then be prepared to loose it. I would ask (one at time not all at once) for things like extending your bedtime until 8:30 asking for your door back.

Is there any reason you can think of that would have concerned your parents? Find out and see what you can do to earn privileges back. I can understand not going out after 6, I wouldn't let a 13 y.o. go out after 6 without an adult.