Recently, the one person in my life that I trust, who I think of as a hero, someone who's been better than the common folk, did something that I find really, really foul. Something we both think of as wrong wrong wrong. I'm not going to get into what was done, but I can't see this person the same. Ever. I'm the f-up, this person has always been pure. Always. And I'm so sickened by things that it's actually making me physically ill. I want to forget the whole thing, but sometimes a person just can't. How do you get over such a thing?
2007-03-07 09:38:06 · 9 answers · asked by doesn'tmatter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You've held this person up on a pedastal, it sounds a bit unfair actually. You should forgive this person, have empathy, and offer your support to put him/her back on the right path. Return what you've taken, so to speak and give this person a chance to return to a better path. IF this person is not remorseful, does not better themselves, then perhaps your friendship has gone it's course and it's time to move on.
2007-03-07 09:44:39 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who's done some really stupid things and paid the price for them, I don't think one can completely get over it. I have some idea of what it feels like when someone you look up to lets you down. The good part is that the other person realizes that what they did was wrong, many people either don't or don't care. Presumably he/she is feeling really bad about it too. Depending on what the person did, you may eventually be able to forgive them, but even then part of the hurt will remain, and the person will have to earn back your trust. As some others have suggested, try talking to her/him about it and then decide if you still want to keep them in your life, when making that decision I would suggest also considering the person's good points and the (possibly misguided) reasons for what they did, I'm not saying that the reasons excuse what they did, but their intentions may have been good. Of course if they intended to hurt you for whatever reason or are not willing to talk about it then they shouldn't be in your life.
2007-03-07 17:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi ,
I am sorry this happened to you , but I cannot tell you what you should do . Only you know how bad the fall was and if it is making you sick it must be pretty bad. I guess you should find out how remorseful your hero is for what he did . Then I guess you would have to look deep into your soul to see how your going to work it out. I myself would try to see how many good things this person has done or is still doing to make up for this indecent act , or maybe he or she is not even remorseful .
Good luck with your dilemma ,they say forgiving is easy but forgetting is the hardest thing to overcome.
2007-03-07 17:48:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't .. Sounds to me like you had this person on a pedestal ,that was your first mistake.People are only human and we ALL mess up.If this person meant that much to you I'm sure you'll find it in your heart to maybe not totally forgive but at least talk and begin to repair the damage.You refered to yourself as a f-up ,why? Because you've made mistakes ?! Name me someone who hasn't ? Your human ..and so so is this person in question.Open the lines of communication and I'll bet that matters can get resolved.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU !!
2007-03-07 17:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by tammie1ca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your hero about it. Maybe if you find out the reason he/she had for doing it, you'll understand. You did say you both thought doing something like this was wrong, wrong, wrong, so there must be a good reason why he/she did it. I am assuming that it took a lot out of him/her to do something that was totally against his/her morals. If you talk about it, it will be easier to let go, and the healing process will begin.
2007-03-07 17:44:44 · answer #5 · answered by blushing angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody is perfect. If the thing that bothers you isn't illegal you should try to forgive. You may have lost your trust and respect for your hero but that can be rebuilt in time. If it is repeated, you may never have the feeling for the person you had before. If it was illegal, forgive anyway if the person is paying for his/her mistake.
2007-03-07 18:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by sissyd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes things like that can hurt really bad. And some timed the hurt can be fixed and others it can't. All I can offer is stay strong hope that it works out.
2007-03-07 17:46:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since the nitwad did something so horrible make him/her do somethin very nice....mayb that'll cheer u up...
or u can just try and pretend it was a dream think of good things that's all. no negative crap. Okay?
2007-03-07 18:27:42 · answer #8 · answered by KidCudi 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
climb down from your seat and become less judgemental once again.
people make mistakes. peace
2007-03-07 17:44:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋