I have been with my husband for 15 years and we've had our ups and downs just like any other couple and we always come out better for the experience...but lately, it seems as though I have had to walk on eggshells around him. He has had some medical issues come up in the last couple of months, so I know that he is dealing with A LOT! But what about me, should I just sit back and get lost in all of this while WE deal with what is going on with him? I don't mean this bad, but I feel as though I am getting lost in all of this and no one, aside from me, realizes it. It's all about the kids and the husband and I have somehow become...well, I'm not real sure?
2007-03-07 09:36:41 · 5 answers · asked by quirky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's time to take some time to do something for yourself or you are going to get burned out. This is a difficult situation and I understand what it's like. My wife has been disabled since right after we met. It took 3 years and a lot of Doctor visits, tests,depression,etc before she got her disability. It was a very difficult time for both of us and I felt heavily burdened trying to work and take care of her & help her through all the emotions that went with it. You have to find an outlet, a support group, friends, a hobby or something to get away from it. I read alot and do artwork. Ironically, I am the one with the physical problems now, so she is my strength and support. Don't forget that's what marriage is about...the good and bad times. It is understandable for you to feel like you do, most caretakers go through it. Find some support and an outlet for yourself. Good luck to you.
2007-03-07 10:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because right now it is all about him and the kids. It's always about the kids, no doubt, but if you and hubby have had a good relationship until recently, then you know, you've already said his health issues are overwhelming. He could also be having a mid life crisis....pretty much, he's realizing that he's going to get old and gray just like the rest of us. Be understanding, patient, and accepting when he talks to you. Don't be a doormat however, make sure you do take some 'me' time and pursue interesests and hobbies, just realize that the best gift you can give him now IS NOT whinning about yourself.
2007-03-07 17:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please stand by your man. Just get help for yourself too. just from another angle. ask a friend to come and help you out once a week for the next three months. ( or a few different friends in rotation) help you cook and eat the dinner, , talk, blow of steam, discuss anything you need to. It will help you relax, it willh help you feel apreciated and it will build friendship. tell the friend beforehand that it is not so much the coocking you need help with, but the distraction sometimes and just to talk about anything and nothing for awhile....because all your energy goes out, you need some back. try to sleep enough if you can. go for a day out sometimes if you can... listen to music you like extra, when you can... little things help a lot! Hope you both get through this hard time.
2007-03-07 17:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by freebird31wizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep doing what you are doing. If your husband is ill you need to be by his side taking care of him. Don't you think he would do the same for you? Right now the time is about him and you shouldn't be focused on yourself. When he is strong enough he will let you know how much he appreciated it.
Good luck!
2007-03-07 17:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
..."for better or worse"...
You sound selfish and immature for your age. The man is going though a lot and all you can think about is yourself.
Just about what I would expect from a woman.
2007-03-07 17:42:26 · answer #5 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋