How can I spice it up with my husband?
My husband and I have a great relationship...be are best of friends but we have been together almost 9 years and we have a 3.5 year old toddler running around...we work really hard so it is difficult to find the energy at the end of the day to even think about having sex much less setting a new scene...he never turns me down and nor I him but it takes one of us to iniciate it and we are both so tired by the end of the day that we just fall in the bed and barely make it through the daily show...(Our news show).
We need some new ideas...open to anything as long as it involves just the two of us! Thanks everyone, I know you got some good ones!
2007-03-07 09:32:35 · 16 answers · asked by JennyJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, on the first and third week of the month it is up to you to come up with a date of some type, on the second and the fourth it is up to your other to come up with a date. The big thing is you should never repeat the exact same date twice in a six month time period. If you follow the "not repeat" idea your dates will be more fun. A date could be...a long walk and a picnic lunch...wash each others car(s) and then each other and take it from there...go to the drug store and look for a card to give each other and exchange the card there, read the card, put the card back, then go to an auto showroom and pick out a car for each other but don't buy them, then go to the mall and pick out clothes for each other but don't get them, then look for sexy things for both to wear and BUY THEM! These are but a few of the cheap date ideas you can have fun with. Let a friend in on this idea and see if he or she comes up with ideas you did not think of...share and share a like.
Second, you can have a date at homelike...put down a tarp in the garage and our sand on top the tarp...put two lawn chairs on the tarp or better yet a blanket, put something to drink in an ice chest...next some things to read to help you both relax...put on your swim suits and drink your drinks maybe even eat some snacks...talk a bit and then make love on your private beach.
Third, save up your cash and pick out an area within a short driving distance...go on the internet and one finds a place you can stay overnight while the other finds places to eat and things to do... get in your care and get away for the weekend!
Fourth, bring new ideas, toys, and positions into your sex life. Have a fantasy night where you share an exiting dream or idea you heard about and try it out. I got my wife a toy from www.durex.com and wow does she love it. Go out on the internet and do a search on sexual positions like this site (an adult type site animations only not real pictures) http://users.forthnet.gr/ath/nektar/kma/... and you might find out some new ways of doing the same old thing. Remember to always have a “safe word” to say if you want to stop what’s doing on so the mate will know you are not playing but don’t like it and want to stop. I hope I did not upset you with these ideas!
Fifth, what ever you do don't do it for yourself, do it for the other! The thing that makes a relationship so special is the seeds you plant in the others heart and not your own. My wife and I have been together for 34 years and she is the joy of my life. I find that with a lot of love, some special times, and a lot of laughs I find a new woman sleeping next to me every night that look as cute as the woman I said "I Do" to 34 years ago. I just can't wait to see what she will become tomorrow. May you both have that kind of love, blessings to you both.
2007-03-07 14:11:08 · answer #1 · answered by sirwilliam1st 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ms.Jen, I do know how you feel, having a toddler will really take all of your energy,esp. if the two of you work for a living. Just know that you are not alone ,because there's a lot out there that's having the same problem. I have 3 and work full time as well, so let me see what I can share with you.
Do you have baby sitter where she can take your toddler for the evening,or even one of your family,maybe his??Maybe the two of you doesn't have the same days off,so all that you can do will be for the evening,yes? How about you and your hubby plan to have a bubble bath together, and by doing that you can spice things up by putting a few candles inside your bedroom, bathroom by the tub, and maybe a soft music that the two of you can listen to while in the tub?? Yes I know that the two are dead tired but sharing a bubble bath,no lights just candles will put some romance to the two of you, then you may want to have a glass of wine, so it will relax you two but at the same time,you will feel sexy and your husband will get the big picture of what's mught happen.Try this and see if it helps both of you and just make sure that your toddler will be with friend or member of the families,.........goodluck to the two of you!!
2007-03-07 10:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes kids and work can hurt your sex life. you guys need some time for just you both. some of the other suggestions are good I'd try a few of those. But if you cant its normal to go thru this. there are some good books out there. Spensers has some fun stuff, like love coupons and other related stuff. A nice bubble bath with candles and some massage oil is a good one. but you guys may just fall asleep if your that tired. good luck!! and congrats for making it 9 years. my brother just made 30....he says sex got a lot better after the kids left....lol
2007-03-07 09:42:45 · answer #3 · answered by Orleanslady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take a hot bath or shower together, take turns washing each other from head to toe. Pick a Friday or Saturday night, or a whole weekend if you can, to have someone watch the toddler and the two of you get a hotel room and just relax and enjoy each other. It is not uncommon for married couples to spend so much time working and dealing with the kids that the forget to take care of themselves, sometimes you just have to be selfish and make some time to be alone together.
2007-03-07 09:41:17 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My wife and I have a date night once a week. Her mom takes the kids overnights on Wed. nights for us. And we use the time to go out for dinner or have dinner at home, and whatever else we decide to do on our date night. Just as long as we are spending it together.
I admire you for wanting to spend time with your husband. My wife and I have 3 kids, and we know what your going through about wanting that quality time. My wife and I enjoy intimacy by just cuddling, but we also enjoy the sexual intimacy also and I understand with kids, it can make the sexual intimacy very difficult.
But if you have someone who can watch your child overnight that you trust, try that and have a date night. It's really helped my wife & I in our marriage and helped give us a chance to have more intimacy, sexual and just the cuddling.
I wish you the best & God Bless
2007-03-07 09:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get on your CLITORIS. Rub it gently, have him perform oral on you, or buy a toy (or all three!). Within a few weeks you should figure out a way to have an orgasm. Most women do not have orgasms without clitoral stimulation- do not believe the media that tells you all women orgasm just from a penis. It's not true at all, take a poll of your friends and you'll see.
2016-03-28 22:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a relative or friend to watch your toddler for a 3 day weekend and go somewhere relaxing like a B&B.
2007-03-07 09:37:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Get a babysitter...try to do this once a month...go out on a "date", dinner a movie or dancing. It is fun, you two can relax and rediscover why you had the hots for one another in the first place.
2007-03-07 09:37:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
make a night to remember of course just the two of you and surprise him candle lit take a bath together and make love all night watch a romantic movie and kiss and make out enjoy each other as if it was the first time.
2007-03-07 09:37:47 · answer #9 · answered by Chloe 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
TAke his birthday off {or another day} and call him in sick get the kid a sitter start slow tease him a little then go for it
2007-03-07 09:41:41 · answer #10 · answered by Arc_Angel 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋