I am 16 years old. I live in a small town. I am pretty sure I am gay. I don't know many people that are around here. Anyway my mom is ok with gay people. Do you think I should come out to her? Will it make me fell better? Also how do I know if dudes are gay and how do I approach them? I am confused. I will not use online dating and want to just go up to people I know but I don't know a good place to find gay guys. Also would it be better if when I'm 18 I move to a bigger city so I can have a better chance of find a guy? BTW before I finish my post I just have to say Ryan Ross is hott. Anyway thanks for looking at my question .
J
2007-03-07 09:05:08 · 13 answers · asked by J teen 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
For those wondering who Ryan Ross is he is a singer from Panic! of the Disco. My biggest crush. Here is a pic of him.
http://images.quizilla.com/P/PA/PAN/PANSY340/1140146966_sRyanRoss4.JPG
http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m50/xoNoteToSelf56xo/Panic%20At%20The%20Disco/Ryan%20Ross/aaa.gif
2007-03-07 10:41:32 · update #1
I can really relate to you because I am 16 in a smaller town. The only difference is my mom isn't okay with it.
My advice is to tell your mom, because she is most likey going to know sooner or later, and if she is cool with it, it can only help.
When you first come out, it isn't instant gratification. From my experience, it took a week or so to get used to things.
Gay people sort of get jipped in the whole dating thing...especially in small towns. The best way I found to get into dating was using online social networks like Facebook or Myspace. I know you said you wouldn't do online dating, but this is a little different...I think at least.
Best luck to you!
2007-03-07 09:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by Dessart 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, as much as your peers and society in general 'looks down' on gays, gay males in the closet probably outnumber openly gay males. Some gay males have gay characteristics, while many more look like they fit in the heterosexual category.
There are many nice gay and bi males out there who are looking for exactly what you're looking for. Look a little closer and you'll find someone who fits your ideal for a 'close' friend.
I know many gay men who are still thought to be straight.
Actually, just today I got together with two of them and none of my straight friends will ever know the truth because I honestly enjoy being with a female almost as much as I do with a male.
2007-03-13 13:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to a search engine and type in “gay (your town).” In theory you will get a list of clubs or gay social groups you can go to. I would try to go with a friend you are out to.
It does get better when you have been around a little longer. Coming out is some times a heart wrenching time of your life. Once it’s done things stabilize and life becomes normal.
Even if you don’t want to date online, you could still meet friends. Chat programs were my life line for the longest time. I used mIRC. But I don’t know if it’s still popular. You could try getting a blog on live journal.
2007-03-07 18:27:47 · answer #3 · answered by Hermit IX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi J. I think you should tell your Mum. If she is OK with gay people, then she will be OK with you. Wait until you are comfortable with yourself and her knowing. Get a gay magazine called Gay Times, that lists gay bars in your area. You can get it at shops like W.H.Smiths. If you want to move to a bigger city when you are 18 then move. But get Gay Times first and see what's around in your area. Good luck!
2007-03-14 14:08:34 · answer #4 · answered by james c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have a few things in common. If your mom is ok with gay people, yeah you should come out to her. Dunno how to tell if guys are gay except to flirt carefully and see if they flirt back. Do what you want when you're 18. I plan to move to a city when i hit 18.
Yep ryan Ross is hot.
2007-03-07 17:18:11 · answer #5 · answered by Syck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may or may not be gay. Talk to your mom about your feelings and ask for feedback. It may be that you're just very shy and uncomfortable around girls from lack of experience. At sixteen I wouldn't define my sexuality one way or the other until I have had some real time experiences. Bottom line, don't worry about it but do talk about it with your mom.
2007-03-07 18:26:59 · answer #6 · answered by dans95945 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, if you are comfortable about coming out to your mum come out. If she loves you she will understand you very soon and probably say to herself she knew anyway. Duno about the rest of your comunity, be cautious about who you tell. Yea move to city unless you find the boy of your dreams there. Who is Ryan Ross??
2007-03-07 18:35:03 · answer #7 · answered by wowdavid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regarding coming out, why don't you wait until you are 18. Try to concentrate on your study at this moment. Don't be fooled by this stuff as you're still young and have a lot more to achieve. I don't mean to oppose your thinking, just concentrate on your academic, otherwise you'll regret one day. Good luck.
2007-03-11 09:08:46 · answer #8 · answered by St Harpy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should tell your mom there is no wrong in saying the truth...it will make you more confident and naturaly you....besides she is your mom...parents should love you and accept you no matter your a gay.....you too should accept that others may avoid you cause your a gay....and others may accept you as you are,specialy your parets....and surely many people are like you....their are just around there...waiting for a friend like you....(",)
2007-03-13 23:44:49 · answer #9 · answered by henriette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt tell just yet! My mom n dad were ok with people being gay but its was different for me because I am there kid
2007-03-13 20:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by Evil Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋