We have been dating for 1.5 yrs and although I love him, I feel his use of percocets, vicodin, etc is seriously standing in the way of us continuing our relationship. I have confronted him in the past and he usually gets angry and defensive and I have since dropped the issue. I also don't entirely trust him when he tells me how much money he spends on pills and when hes hanging out with certain people who have similar habits. I know none of this is a good sign and I should have done something months ago...any advice on what I should do now?
2007-03-07 09:03:55 · 11 answers · asked by jennafingers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Seriously think about leaving!! Pain persciptions is the new street drug addiction. I was there and it is not an easy situat. Now when I look back I wonder why I didn't get out sooner and wonder how much further ahead I could be.
2007-03-15 04:09:10 · answer #1 · answered by Dotr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an addict, and you've already confronted him. There's really nothing left for you to do. The only way that he and you will ever get through this is if he gets involved in a 12 step program. He's 100% in denial about his addiction; that's why he gets defensive with you. He makes it impossible for you to talk to him about it, so you need to leave. It's as simple as that. You have to get out of that chaotic situation.
Many people that become involved (and stay for 1.5 years) are often abuse survivors or survivors of a broken, unstable home. If this is you, you probably will need some counseling to work through this. You may need to get some help to get out of this relationship and to not make the same mistakes again. With some counseling, you'll be fine. But move on from this chaotic and dangerous relationship you're in now.
2007-03-08 14:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by "dr" jim 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you from personal experience that this is a bad situation. Most addicts get very angry and sometimes even violent when approached about the subject. As far as what he spends on pills, trust me, you can't trust what he says. One of the worst characteristics of an addict is the lying. Maybe you could go to the Narcotics Anonymous website and see if you can get some of your questions answered there. I hate to say this, but if he's not willing to get help, you need to move on. It's going to get worse before it gets better and it is a very difficult thing to deal with because he will start to take his anger out on you. Try one more time to talk to him and tell him that you are worried because you love him and you see the changes in him. I wish you the best.
2007-03-07 09:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's never too late to break up with someone who is not willing to admit that addiction is a serious, life-altering problem. Tell him you waited but you realize this is something that is not being addressed and now it has become a trust issue with you. As he well knows, trust is important in a relationship. Then give him the task of going to rehab and involving you in kicking his addiction - so that you know he has given it up - IF and only if you are hell-bent on staying in this situation even one more minute. If not, then be nice, be sweet, state your case and start over as a single, unattached person and live your life with that.
2007-03-14 06:00:05 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I have been up that hill and down. The sad thing is, he's probably not ever going to stop, and he probably spends more money than you will ever know on pills. Pills are so important to my ex, that he gave up me, his little girl, his license, and he has scars all over his face from the numerous wrecks he's been in from being so messed up from the pills. (yes, just pills people) Pills seem to really grab hold on some people, and it just takes over.Get out now. Get yourself together. Don't bring it up with him anymore. He will lie. I've had to have therapy for my anxiety and insecurity. It's a wound that hasn't healed for me yet. I hope that you take my advice. Don't tell him you are leaving. Just get a plan together..and leave before it's too late.
2007-03-14 00:01:05 · answer #5 · answered by starbucks4jessica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem with my husband when i confronted him he would get defensive and lie about how much he was using. we have a child together and i told him that he couldn't do pills arround his son. i told him i was leaving him and that didn't fase him. finally i callled his mom while he was right there and told her he was using pills. he was really hurt by me telling his mom but that helped to get him clean. my advise is to have an intervention and send him to rehab. if you are worried about the money it would cost for rehab i can assure you there are programs that charge based on your income so it could be $10 - $20 a session or more depending on your income the addict has to be the one to want to change and admit they need help and thats the hardest part.
2007-03-15 07:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by alina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are living with an addict who doesn't think he's an addict. This is a very dangerous thing. There is nothing you can do for him. He has to do the work himself.
This is very serious. Please understand that. My mother was addicted to painkillers for 20 years and she died at 60 - her body gave up and her liver failed.
Painkillers are HORRIBLY HARD on your body.
It is possible that the only way you can help him is to leave. If you buy into his addiction you are just enabling him to continue it. If you leave, telling him that you can't handle living with an out of control drug addict, it might hit him a little closer to home.
This is big - please get some help.
FP
2007-03-07 09:10:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need a new boyfriend. If you get married the drugs could affect any
child that you have. He sounds like he is not a good risk as a boyfriend or
husband. You can't make him stop he has to do it because he wants to and it is
affecting his health.
2007-03-14 16:17:48 · answer #8 · answered by Garnet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its not from the dr its illegal he can go to prison for having alot of pills.It makes it harder for people like me who need the pain meds legally from my pain mgmt dr. because of addicts like your boyfriend who abuse these pills.i know it is easy to be addicted and harder to stop but I was an addict on oxycontin I could nt stop snorting them I got them legally from my dr but I always needed more my wife stepped in got my dr to take me off them and move me to a patch which is alot better. no jones-ing. using pills only leads to worse things I am probably sure he's probably doing that too. good luck get help get his family involved, friends co workers etc intervention
2007-03-07 09:37:39 · answer #9 · answered by I race cars 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hydrocodones can grow to be very addicting. and he doesnt make investments in the babies? possibly he spends them on the pills, yet talk him by way of this and ask him to stop, tell him you love him, and you dont want him to have anymore surgical procedures.
2016-09-30 08:39:12 · answer #10 · answered by benisek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋