Friend Advice...?

Question

I have a friend.. well she is my best friend 'apparently', but she keeps putting me down all the time and critisises everything about me.. Like for example my hair, and she does it because she knows it hurts my feelings cos i am not that confident with my appearance.

She has anger issues and she always takes her anger out on me and im so fed up.. but i cant fall out or say anything to her because she will turn everyone against me and make my life a hell.. even tho it is anyway.. i just dont know what to do anymore :'( she blames me for all her own problems and i end up crying all the time

Answer 1

Doesnt sound like a friend to me sweety. To me she sounds like an egotistical smarty pants who gets her rocks off by putting you down.
Even if she is your only friend, she isnt acting like a friend. If she wants to be so low as to involve your other friends then let her, she is just showing them her true colours, be sure to point out to them that if they think she doesnt do it to them also, they are mistaken! Your other friends probably see what she is doing anyway. Maybe they only put up with her for you?
Ignore her for a while, if she cares enough to ask why without hurting your feelings then just explain to her what you have here to us & see how she takes it. If she apologies, take it but be sure to set the ground rules so that she doesnt do it again. If she flys off the handle, simply say "this is what i mean" & walk away.
You dont need people in your life who make you feel that way. I know someone like that who has been acting weird for a while & I've taken a lot of crap from her & allowed her to point out my faults without mentioning hers, until very recently.
I saw her for who she is & didnt like what I saw. Make a point of getting out & about, make new friends sweets then you might realise what a true friend is :o)

Answer 2

Hmm...well, to be honest, this is a tough situation on you. The reason why she's putting you down is likely because she likes attention and needs to pick on others to feel good about herself, which is terrible to do, and the reason why she takes her anger out on you is likely because she can't think of any way to deal with it, and she doesn't want to seem like she made a mistake by getting in to whatever problem she got into in the first place. But, she's your friend, you gotta be sure to know if she just needs to have a reality check, or that she's just plain mean.

Here's what I think you should do:
First, if she tries to put you down, ask her to stop. If this fails, ignore her. If this fails, walk away. And if that fails, talk to somebody besides her about it.
Next, if she takes her anger out on you, I'd say first talk to her and try to see if she's okay. If she continues to take it out on you, do what I said before, ask her to stop, then ignore her, then walk away, then talk it over.
Also, just think: she can't turn *everyone* against you. One can always convince someone, but not everyone. You'll still have your good friends beside you in the end, and you can easily make more. Is it worth it to cry everyday? I know at least this one thing...it isn't...and I can assure you right now, you'll have friends in the end if you have a positive attitude and you're nice. She'll look like the jerk in the end by trying to turn people against you. No one will want to listen to her. But you can't stoop down to her pathetic level. It's not worth it to cry everyday...it's not. Do what makes you happy.

I hope this was of some help to you, and I wish you the best of luck. ^_^

Answer 3

Boy with friends like her who really needs enemies?
Stand up to this awful spoilt brat and kick her to the curb!
We all have problems in our lives but we dont take them out on our friends.
Did it ever cross your mind that the reason she's always putting you down is because she may actually be jealous of you and not because she knows it hurts your feelings?
if it is the latter of the 2 she is indeed a nasty bit of work and you really need to stand up to her, she can only make your life hell if you let her.
As for turning all your other friends against you they would be pretty spineless if they allowed this to happen, she probably does the same thing to them as well only you dont notice.
You are not her keeper and are not responsible for all the bad things that happen in her life, she needs to grow up and start taking responsibility for her own actions and not have you as a scape goat, if she cant to that then she needs to be shown the door!
No real friend would intentionally go out of their way to make another friends life so miserable.

Answer 4

Omg this is like my life story, My best friend is like this too, she has anger managment problems too, She always bosses me around say i'm ugly and on valantines day she kept going to me That card you got was probably a joke, who would want to go out with you anyway

What i do tough is i just tell her, I might not like it because (soz this is off topic but it just remember something, im dead shy in school but its because of her she knocks down my confidence all the time..anways back to that) I don't really like having a 'talk' to someone if you get what i mean? And i just say it rlly annoys me and all this and i also try to do things infront of more of our mates so people can see what shes like because if people start to see what its like, they'll have a go at her and then she starts to like stop if you see what i'm saying?

Good luck, Kirsty x


Nearly forgot, does she turn everyone against you when you fall out too? thats what mine does which makes me scared to get a new best mate -.-

Answer 5

People will see what is going on. Just dont do anything mean or spiteful. That is when people will end up turning against you. Be yourself, but let her know you aren't going to take it anymore. If you still want to be friends let her know how you feel. Let her know (although she already knows) how bad it hurts your feelings and you have always understood friendship to mean something else. Like being there for one another, being helpful. Being a true friend is nothing like you have described in your "friend" . The pain you feel in your gut is awful, I feel for you.
take care of yourself. Friendship should be friendlier !!!

Answer 6

Start distancing yourself from this girl as shes not your best friend(i would never treat my best friend like that)Try doing it in away that she doesnt really pick up on ,still be friends but dont hang around with her as much and start hanging round with other people. Hope everything goes ok for you

Answer 7

start hanging out with some other nicer people and try to get them on your side tthen just tell her off but don't be to mean cuz she eather has problems in her life and attacks u cuz it makes her feel good or was rised that way so don't be mean but stand up for u'r self

Answer 8

try and make new friends and slowly distance yourself from this girl ,just make excuses that you have to do something or go some where, seems like you are just there for her to bully,friends are supposed to make you feel good and help you ,move on and get some different friends while you can

Answer 9

You should talk to your other close friends about the issue, and if you have reassurance from them then confront her despite the risk. Best way out believe it or not.

Answer 10

She's taking advantage of you - stand up to her, she'll realise you are not a doormat then. Don't put up with it.