is it time to ask for a divorce? does it make sense to stay in this situation?
2007-03-07 08:51:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get out. You will look back when it DOES end, and wish to God you'd got out sooner.
You only have one shot at this life, don't waste it on something you know is going to die.
It only makes sense to stay if you don't think you deserve better...
2007-03-07 08:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by Welshdragon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depression is a medical condition for the most part. If you're naturally inclined to real depression then medication and counseling can help. It could be depression that is causing your perception to be a little out of wack and you're hearing things your wife says as negative and condescending. I've seen this happen from experience. You can say something to a person who suffers from a form of depression and he/she is joking and happy in response but say the exact same thing the next day and he/she gets all bent out of shape over it. The eventual diagnosis: depression (among other things).
I'm not diagnosing you (only a doctor can do that) but it's definitely not right to just bail and and file for divorce anytime the goin' gets rough. In order to walk away from the marriage without any regrets or feeling as if you failed or didn't give it your best shot you've got to do just that: give it your best shot. Therapy for you to start with, then combined with couples counseling is the way to start. Don't end it before you give it a chance.
And someone else here said that she may not realize that what she's doing/saying is causing you distress, talk to her about it and suggest couples counseling.
Good luck
2007-03-07 09:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by Wonderin' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opt to create a happy life. For you.
Of course you want her to be happy. She has that option. But she probably needs treatment or medication. You can choose to go on that journey with her...if she wants to do it..but you do not owe her a life of suffering because she doesn't want to do anything about it.
Treatment is the only option to save a marriage like you describe. Give her an ultimatim in one way or another.
There is no reason to stay in a situation that isn't going to change. We all get depressed occasionally. Some people require medication or therapy particularly if they don't know they are messed up. BUT.. you didn't sign on to be terribly unhappy.
It is her time to step up to her responsibilities. Hard to leave...but frankly life is short and what you are describing does not sound worth enduring. If she doesn't want help or refuses, leave.
Short misery now is worth long term calmness and happy endings.
2007-03-07 09:02:12 · answer #3 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why r u still there youre dont need this move on find your self respect and file a divorce my wife was the same way she was always unhappy and she may sure i was too after 12 years i got out now i am so happy and after 4 years i get marry to a sweet girl a virgin and she only 26 years old much young the my ex so there hope
2007-03-07 09:02:03 · answer #4 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to her about it first and see where it goes. Tell her of your feelings and talk from there. It does not make any sense at all to stay in an unhealthy relationship with anyone. Make sure you are both understanding of each other's side before making a final decision. If there are children invovled, think about the pros and cons of staying in the relationship and how that decision will affect them also.
2007-03-07 09:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by Theresa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if its time for a divorce, but I DO know that you own your own feelings.
You are not an extension of your wife.
Detach the emotional hose.
You can be happy even when she isn't. You know what? By getting sucked into her emotions, you're probably making them worse. Rather then being 'supportive' by feeling whatever she feels, try being a calm and happy anchor. Try leading her moods with your own, rather then following hers.
You can do it.
2007-03-07 08:59:20 · answer #6 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOW. that is a very powerful choice of words. i think that if that statement is not an exaggeration u may need to investigate why it is u are so fragile mentally and begin to deal with that. i understand your feelings of inadequacy and feeling unable to satisfy her. but i hafta believe that your own mental state probably plays a part in all this as well. seek counseling for yourself as well as counseling WITH your wife for your marriage.
2007-03-07 09:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to kiss your A$$. Get a divorce.
2007-03-07 08:55:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need to try therapy first, she may have some issues going on from within herself, u need to confront her, as i do think people treat us the way we allow them to. stand up for yourself, tell her how much this behavior is hurting u. if nothing works than after u have spoken to her, it May be time to leave. but at least give her the chance to see things your way and make changes.
2007-03-07 09:02:32 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are truly doing your best and just can't seem to make her happy, I would get away. Some people just love to judge and persecute. You deserve to be happy. Evaluate your faults and if you can, fix them but don't let another person dehumanize you.
2007-03-07 08:56:43 · answer #10 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋