Is bisexuality real or more likely en excuse for homosexuals to hide their shame?

Question

I'm a gay man and the reason I am asking this question is because every man I've ever known who said they were bisexual later on admitted that they were gay but were afraid to admit it, as if by telling themselves that they were bisexual they could think that they were halfway normal.

Now I'm not denying that bisexuality exists at all, but I just want to get some opinions here.

Is bisexuality common, or are most guys claiming to be bisexual probably homosexuals in hiding?

Answer 1

Have you heard of the Kinsey studies from the 70s? They found that sexual orientation is a spectrum and most people are somewhere in the middle -- bisexuality is the norm.

I've had the opposite experience of you. Several of my lesbian friends found themselves undeniably attracted to a man and had to rethink their identity.

Bisexuality is very very common. It's just that society likes everything to be clearly defined. Fortunately, life isn't like that.

Answer 2

Tim, your question doesn’t make sense. You claim to be gay and you also claim those men who’ve slept with women have the same sexuality as you? Does that make sense to you? I’m a gay guy and I know there’s no way I could get turned on and sleep with women. I know those men don’t have the same sexuality as me. Straight guys are disgusted at the thought of gay sex and gay men are disgusted at the thought of sex with a woman. If a guy can get turned on by both sexes, then he’s got to be partly bisexual.

I’ve spoken to a lot of guys on here who claim to be gay. Then they get to the “but I used to be married for 3 years” part. When they say that I know they don’t have the same sexuality as me. The reality is these men aren’t gay, they’re bisexual. I admit that some of them might have an 80% attraction to men and a 20% attraction to women, but they’re still bisexual. They’ve got to the point in their life where they know they want to be with a man and not any women. So they identify themselves as “gay”, but in reality they’re bisexual with a stronger attraction to men.

George Michael slept with lots of women, but now claims to be gay. Do you think he is gay? If you do think he’s gay, then that would mean he has the same sexuality as you? So if he’s the same sexuality as you, that would also mean you have the choice to get aroused and sleep with women? Do you see what I’m getting at? I personally don’t have that choice because I’m gay, that’s why I know those guys don’t have the same sexuality as me (they’re not gay). If you can’t see this for yourself, then part of you must have bisexual feelings.

Answer 3

Yes, it's real. In fact, I knew a girl in college who considered herself completely lesbian, very proud. Lo and behold, she met a fantastic person and fell in love with ... *Him?!* She was so blindsided! She's not a convert or any stupid thing like that...she just fell in love. That happens sometimes. Some people hide behind bisexual when they are really gay, but a lot of people are probably bisexual but call themselves gay because they mostly are and it simplifies things. Honestly, you can't fit it into a box. I consider myself completely gay, but sometimes I see a male that I think is superhot and I have no idea why. That's life.

Answer 4

You know what, your question actually makes a valid point. Im not a gay man, but i am a lesbian and before i "fully" came out, i told people that i was bi. I thought that it would make it easier for them to accept that i liked both instead of only women. I told my parents this in hopes to soothe over the blow that i dealt them. And it worked. For awhile my mom said "Well honey you're only bisexual. Which means there is still hope that one day you'll go back to liking ONLY men." And i lived like this for about 3 years. Until i just couldnt keep living a lie. I was only peing pratially real to myself and it killed me. So now im an out LESBIAN and will never ever embrace that bi lie again. So yes, some do use it as a scape goat to cover up their real selves & its sad & painful.

Answer 5

I believe it makes them think its ok in there head. I have a friend that won't admit he is gay. He keeps saying he is bi and likes both sexes equally the same. I don't believe him. He has been with many men and very few women. He doesn't try to have a relationship with a woman the ones he meets he always finds somthing wrong with them or somthing he doesn't like. When it comes to his men tho he will go for some pretty bad ones. I always think well he wouldn't like that if it was a woman. When he starts dating a guy..he always gets a"fake" gf to take to meet his family. They act like they think he is just girl crazy and he tells them lies about dating girls. It seems to me that most men use bisexuallity as a cover up for being gay because of society. Most of whom are deep down 150% gay. IT seems to me most women who say they are bisexual end up going back to being straight. Also, some ppl when first exploring there sexuallity say they are bi but end up saying oh I am not bi I am gay.

Answer 6

Before I was ready to acknowledge my attraction to women, I thought that bisexuality was just horny-ness. Pick a team. Or like you have suggested, a cover up. Then I "discovered" women. I dabbled and up until recently I considered myself bisexual.

Now I am in a committed lesbian relationship and I consider myself gay. That is not to say if this relationship were to (say it ain't so) die I would not date men again.

For me love has no gender. I fall in love with a person and their anatomy is just part of the package.

Answer 7

Bisexuality can be a temporary identity for scared people, but so can straightness and gayness. Many people who used to identify as straight, gay, or lesbian now identify as bisexual, often after finding that they have an attraction that won't go away. I know a bi guy who used to identify as gay and is now married to a bi woman; I also know a bi guy who was a hetero hound until he fell in love with his male friend. I speak as a bisexual woman who is married to another woman, but still has crushes on race car drivers and loves the sight of UPS guys in their shorts.

As for the answer above, quantity and quality are not the same thing. I have only been with one woman and four men. The one woman, I met in high school and have been with for 14 years! There are many factors to consider, such as opportunity, attractiveness to various groups, one's interests, etc.

Answer 8

I think the main thing is definition of sexuality. Sometimes people change their relationships and their level of intimacy they are comfortable sharing with other people. So, although your friends may have problems with accepting homosexuality or tendancies toward it that is a seperate issue to bisexuality. To me bisexuality is admiting you can have an attraction to either sex. It is not confusion or greed. It is honesty!

Answer 9

I think it's normal. I know at least that it's very common for women. Less so for men, but it still happens. The bisexual men I've known have all been very open about their sexuality.

Answer 10

no there really are bisexual people. Alot of the time though when homosexuals first come out they say that they are bi-sexual untill they are ready to fully admit it.