Anti-Social or just a Loner.?

Question

All my life Ive felt like more of an observer then a participant in life..Basically I do like some people I just dont know how to make friends anymore..and the ones that I have made I always have to call to say hello,I always have to go to their place,its so bad that Ive just left off every relationship that I have except with my mother,most times I just dont feel like doing the constant and banal work it seems like to maintain any sort of relationship,lately I find myself enjoying my alone time more and more,people who enter or are around annoy and anger me for no reason what so ever other then their presence.
My family now sort of ignores me unless i make contact and even then its maybe a conversation.
and my friends are non existant,Id be ok with this but lately ive been thinking..who will be there at my funeral if Im murdered who will miss me enough to report me missing..what can I do about this..??

Answer 1

You certainly are introspective, and this is not a bad thing. However, even the most introverted person (loner, if you will) needs some sort of interpersonal communication. It may be that your family and friends aren't showing the kind of support you seek.

It is good to start with the question, what do you want out of your social connections? If you genuinely do not enjoy company, it is best to spend time alone. But most of us need some sense of balance between time with ourselves and time with others.

I'm an (obnoxious) extrovert and my wife is a borderline introvert. We have learned to balance our time together with time apart, and it works very well.

It does concern me that you are thinking about death enough to have mentioned it in your question. Perhaps there are additional stressors in your life that you've not mentioned (and you don't need to mention here) that you are attempting to deal with through internalization, and so are experiencing frustration with other people.

Answer 2

I don't think you are anti social or a loner. I too was an observer rather tha a participator.. I have had the same situation as you when I was in my 20's. It finally came down to it where I spent a full year alone, I just ate , slept, and went to work and figured, if anyone wanted to talk to me, they could call me or come see me. Because I was done being the one to go visit or call all the time.
But nothing changed too much over that year until I expressed to my friends and family how I truly felt about it all and why I was staying away from everyone.

After I finally told my friends and family what I was going through, I weeded out real friends from aquantances, and as hard as it was for me to make friends, it wasn't because i was anti social. It was because I was very picky about who I wanted to have in my life. And there is nothing wrong with that.
I have 3 very close friends that i have had now for over 15 years, and the rest are aquantances. These 3 friends, I would do anything for, and they would do anything for me.
Also, my relationsip with my family changed quite a bit. They relied on me to contact them so much when I was younger because they were trying to allow me space to live my life. I didn't recognize that at the time, and now, we have a pretty normal relationship. If they don't hear from me for a couple of days, they call to make sure i'm ok, and I do the same.
Give yourself some time to figure out what kind of people you want in your life and give yourself time to figure out what kind of friend or family member you would like to be. Its not that hard to do, it just takes time, you will eventually figure it all out.

Answer 3

i'm the asocial loner. Anti social is against society. Asocial is remote from social. massive distinction. Anti-socials tend to finally finally end up in prisons, regulation enforcement and politics. Asocials finally end up in caves or meditating on a mountain outstanding. the two might prevail in what they do and that i actual replaced into for some years. My pal the drum majorette who led the band and replaced into the idol of each and every of the fellas were married thrice the final I heard and replaced into searching for #4. She tried working a sprint shop yet went bankrupt. yet another case replaced into the famous person soccer participant who became a father on the age of 18 after a too speedy marriage of convenience. He went directly to grow to be an alcoholic and after a pair greater marriages drank himself into oblivion. plenty for success.

Answer 4

The best in my life is to have a lot of friends,as an adult I am inactive on friends, some people I know from work and nieghbors are very busy most of them have two jobs and taking care of families,when I talk to them ,even in few minutes I see to it that I gave my best shots as a good friend to them. My life is happier and easier, they responded a sincere feed back to me.. Friends are better than material things,I was once a materialistic person. The strategy that I use to connect with people is my sincerity.kindness ,sense of humor.

Answer 5

I have always preferred to be alone, than be in a group of "friends".
I don't understand why people have issues with going to restaurants alone, or feel like they have to be in contact with someone every minute of the day. To me it is weak to require feedback on a constant basis. It is codependent to need that sort of companionship. To want it is one thing, but to absolutely need it is another.

There are those that like to be the center of attention, and others (like us) that roll our eyes at it. I am perfectly content disappearing in a crowd, just as I am content sitting at home alone on a Saturday night.

I live by a certain "rule" that goes: what you think of me is none of my business, and what I think of you is none of yours.

And if no 'friends' come to my funeral - that means my family won't have to spend as much on food and flowers!

Answer 6

Don't worry, people like you never get murdered.

Answer 7

I know wat your going through I've accepted it and a friend a met is in the same boat.