I wrote a poem to myself...to help me feel better. Any comments?
steel cut oats, flat beds
no problem obeying dad
can't sleep in dungeons
2007-03-07 08:27:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
can never be ignored
it always raises delight in me...
eyes are never bored
its always of profound artistry
readers cant leave it unexplored...
it always brings such wonderful glee
but what can be so adored?
it is his divine poetry...
verses from our gay lord.
2007-03-07 08:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by louie 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
steel cut oats, flat beds=makes me think of horses & flat bed trailers
no problem obeying dad=makes me think that you just simply have no problem with authority
can't sleep in dungeons=makes me think of dragons as being the reason you cant sleep there.
You asked, I answered.
If anything, I hope I got you to smile.
:)
2007-03-07 16:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this one shows a loss of emotion in place of technique. I preferred the more romantic poetry, the ones that gave the experience atmosphere. This is more like a post-modern take on a surgical theatre.
For example, with the double meaning in dungeons, by using "can't sleep" instead of the more playful "mustn't sleep" the pleasure is all gone.
What worries me is that this should be from your heart. Vene a casa, subito!
2007-03-08 04:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get out of the dungeon and crawl into bed with me. We'll eat the oats in the morning.
*
2007-03-07 16:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You must first define "to help me feel better" Better is a comparative form, find an absolute.
The way you have written your poem describes a prisoner who is sick and tired of being locked in, this person wants to come out... dare to dream, it's ok.
Find someone to hold you and tell you it is going to be ok.
2007-03-09 12:33:28 · answer #5 · answered by Michael K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suddenly I'm craving Italian for dinner.
2007-03-07 17:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow deep and to the point. Sheer brilliance, yet at the same time chilling in it's simplicity.
2007-03-07 16:37:18 · answer #7 · answered by waggy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd LOVE to be your dad, so you could obey me and give me oats
2007-03-07 16:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by Tikhacoffee/MisterMoo 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hope it works
2007-03-07 17:47:35 · answer #9 · answered by Kedar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hope you feel better, because now I'm confused.
2007-03-07 16:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋