My husbands become a mean and bitter person. He isnt physically abusive or anything, just unpleasent. We barely talk, or have sex. All it seems like he's interested in is video games and stupid yugio cards. Ive tryed to get into this stuff for him, but its just too childish. I can sit and play a video game for a little while, but he plays literatly 8 hrs in a row sometimes. He belittles me when we have arguments, hes sarcastic, and honestly i dont even know why i stay around. im scared of being alone, at the thpught of dating and being single, of taking my daughters daddy away. Things arent bad every day but it seems theyre getting close to that. I dont think he cares about how i feel, i think hes selfish. we only have sex if HE wants it...i probably should have left, but therwas a reason we got married, and i dont particularly believe in divorce. Has anyone else gone through this? Is there hope? Or should i just give it up and move on?
2007-03-07 08:19:52 · 12 answers · asked by rednecksurfer_roxy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
*no we did not get married because i was pregnant, we got married because we loved one another but thanks,
2007-03-07 13:29:24 · update #1
Listen closely, a relationship is only a relationship when two people are able to communicate and compromise between their differences. No one and I mean no one deserves anything less than to be loved and accepted. You don't have to be in a marriage like yours, but you choose to be. If you do not pour your Heart out and explain exactly how you feel then he will not truly understand and yield to you. This is the biggest problem in marriages today, the lack of communication and set rules. A person will only straighten up if they feel they will lose something precious to them (YOU) and if they don't then they have nothing precious to lose (YOU).
What you can do is let him know your intentions (to leave him) and make him aware that there will be rules and times to do certain things (GAMES, PERSONAL, CLEANING, etc.) and if he agrees to this structured marriage then you will stay. He also needs to know that your child needs both a father and mother and that you both have to lead by example. If he does not agree to this than there's the answer to your question (YES). If you do not do this than you are choosing to live this way and you have no one to blame but yourself.
Those who play together, stay together.
Ask yourself this: "Do I deserve to be loved and happy"? If you said "Yes" then what are you waiting for? Go!.......I said "GO!"......NOW!
God Bless You.
Sincerely,
SuperDave
2007-03-07 08:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by SuperDave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said yourself, you are a afraid to be alone! Stop the self doubt and think of ways to make yourself stronger. A child is not a reason to stay unhappy, especially since this not so good scenario is being seen through the childs eyes. as a role model and a parent its your obligation to put your foot down. dont let anyone belittle you or make you feel less of a person. stand up and say i have had enough and this has got to change! If he cares at all he will make the attempt, if he doesnt then the hell with him. Life is hard enough without being in a non-productive relationship that fills you with self doubt and poor self esteem. Love yourself and your child, life does not end without him and he will regret in the long run if he loses you. but more important your child will see a strong respected woman who is a great role model. Now thats something to live for!
2007-03-07 16:34:43 · answer #2 · answered by chemreaction 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he sounds awfully childish and he has a child!
I dont think talking to him does anything
My husband when we 1st got married loved to play this online game from like 6 years ago and he would spend hours on this game and it drove me crazy really we would fight about this game and everything and he was really defensive over it but when I quit argueeing about it and just going to bed he would come in hours later and tell me how sorry he is and eventually he quit playing it he did move on to making his own online store which also requires a lot of time but I figure he has to have something to do besides go to work... =)
And I can't be selfish but neither can he. =)
Dont give up.
2007-03-07 16:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by Lauren D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People live this life every day. I am sorry.
Lots of women marry men that aren't happy or don't grow up and you think that staying married will help. It doesn't. It just helps them live in their miserable life.
Get a counselor if you want....or just move out. Tell him why. Sounds hard...but a little alimony and child support will snap him into reality.
Really. Being single is much better than being married and miserable. Really.
2007-03-07 16:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he is trying to escape from something. Does he work? He may be depressed. If he works is his job stressful ? Maybe he is going through something that he is afraid you won't understand. I don't necessarily believe in divorce either but if this is going to be your life do you want your children growing up around someone with such a bad attitude toward life?
2007-03-07 16:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a very immature person on your hands. You mentioned there was a "reason" you got married and then you mentioned a daughter so forgive me if I'm wrong, but, it sounds like you married because you were pregnant. I would suggest that you tell him you want counseling and see what he says. If he totally refuses, go alone, give it a while, but if you still aren't happy then maybe he isn't worth your time. Good luck!
2007-03-07 16:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is time to get out He is being abusive and controlling mentally and emotionally. Leave and try a separation and counseling. If that does not work than get a divorce. You should not have to live like that. No woman should
2007-03-07 16:26:07 · answer #7 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes there are signs that tell us if better to be out than in. I thinks you should separate for a while because what meant to be will be. Also, over time people grow apart and maybe you and him have grown apart.
2007-03-07 16:26:30 · answer #8 · answered by cutiepye22002 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There was no hope for me. I ended up just giving up. Tried everything. It sounds like you are growing apart and that is very difficult to repair.
2007-03-07 16:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by NYEVE43 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, its only going to get worse if you don't nip it in the butt! You need to express yourself to this man!! If you try and he talks crap to you without even a little bit of consideration, then you will realize that it's time to move on!!!
2007-03-07 16:24:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋