Is this cheating?

Question

My husband's been telling me for months that he's working on weekends. He leaves on Fri. nights (but only takes civilian clothes-he's in the military)& comes back Mon. during the day. He's been "working" 7 days. He always talks about not having much money. I went to our bank & got a printout for the last few months. 2 weekends ago I saw he went to the movies( I could tell he only bought 1 ticket). I see from the last few months where he's spent on average $40 to $75 at restaurants on weekends he's "working". I've also seen charges at liquor stores. Last Sat. he took off for awhile to spend time w/my son while I was working. My son told me him & his dad went to a restaurant w/a woman & a little girl from his job..but my husband never mentioned the girls. I don't know if he's working & him & coworkers are going to eat together or what. He doesn't usually call & won't usually answer his phone on weekends. When he leaves on Fri. I don't talk to him til Mon. What would you think?

By the way....if you look at the previous questions I have asked on here it may give you a better idea on how to answer this one. He wants me and my son to move back in with my parents so we can "save money" and since he is always "working" he doesn't want us to always be by ourselves. So at the end of this month we are leaving and he is staying here.

Answer 1

Well cheating is always a difficult thing to contemplate. Why do some do it and others avoid at the risk of death. Statistics tell us that about 50% of all men have cheated and about 63% of all women, at some point during their life. I think that indicates human nature, not sin or weakness, so do what you want, but i don't ultimately think its the end of the world should either party have a little sex on the side.
I do think he is cheating, but its up to you, what you want to do, and if it is worth your marriage..

Answer 2

Was going to cut him some slack till the part where u said ur son said him and daddy ate dinner with a woman and her little girl..

Right there was proof enough that somethings not kosher..

My x husband was in the military and he use to have to be on duty for 1 weekend a month he always took his uniform..

And even when he was on duty weekends he still found time to call me..

Im sorry hun, but this doesnt sound right.. my "x" cheated on me with a co-worker, and the way i found out was something just told me to pick up the phone and hit the redial button and i got a girls answering machine, when i questioned my husband, he said our barely 3 year old was playing with the phone and got a "local" number, a week later he left , for good, and that weekend he picked up the kids, and my 3 year old asked why daddy was kissing another woman.. Kids arent stupid..

Answer 3

You want an honest answer, then the best thing to
do is sit down with him and have a serious dis-
cussion with him on the issues that you put out to
us. Just by his response's alone you can tell if he
has been with someone else. If so then you take
charge and let him know what you expect from him
and if it continues , if it is, then you will take the
steps needed to make you happy in life as you
and him have a son to raise and an outside re-
lationship can not be tolerated, period. Take
charge and let him see the true woman he really
has . Good luck.

Answer 4

I don't want to tell you to jump to a conclusion, but this doesn't sound good. Listen to kids, they usually don't make that kind of stuff up. My boyfriend's dad found out his mom was cheating when his daughter got a kiss on the cheek one night and she asked her dad, "Why don't you kiss me goodnight on the lips like mom and Alan?" But, even if he's not cheating it sounds like you need to talk about it. If you're not completely sure what is going on and he won't even talk to you on the weekends then the communication in your relationship is not that good. This may not be either of your faults. I almost think you should consider going to a counselor or reading a relationship book together. This can really help even if both of you are very mature and sound minded. If it were me I would think he was cheating too, but there's always the chance that he isn't. Hope I helped. Good luck. Since you're married you might could help me out, please answer my question titled, "Is my boyfriend just stressed, or do I have room to complain?"

Answer 5

Well in my opinion he shouldn't be spending that money if you guys are really hurting financially.

I handle all my husbands and my finances, I know where every penny is bexcause we are trying to pay stuff off and build up our savings this year...he refuses to buy lunch when he is at work! He takes lunch from home the sweet guy so he doesn't have to spend our money...if he forgets he refuses to buy food still and waits till he gets home.

THAT IS A MAN WHO CARES ABOUT FAMILY FINANCES!

Your husand wants you to move with your kid and complains about there not being money...well news flash. Ask him why he is spending so frivilessly. here are cheaper alternatives for him. That will start his talking on the whole cheating business.

Oh and btw all you need to do is get your evidence layed out and just ask him. You are his wife, you can ask him what ever the heck you want. And if you wanna be accusatory...go right ahead, your tellin me he wouldn't jump down your throat in a hear beat if he was suspicious of you messin around...girl please.

Answer 6

you said that your husband is in the military,is he in the navy or marine??Navy personnel only works part of week end when they have duty for 24 hours, it also goes to the officers, and if his in the marine he will hardly work on a week end unless they have training out in the field. Sweetie I was married to and officer in the navy and I do know how their schedule permit.
It sounds like his living a double life if his not working. Do yourself one huge favor, the next time that he leaves for the weekend, see if you can follow him without him knowing that your spying him. Ask one of your friend that has a car so that way he will not recognize your car.
Or you can call his commanding officer and just ask him why your husband is working on a week end. If you can do this, then your questioned will be answered,...just be careful..

Answer 7

Honey, HELLO, WAKE UP! HELL YEAH he is cheating i mean what else do you need for a big rock to fall from the sky or god himself to appear and tell you? i hate to sound so cold but you are letting this guy make you look like a fool, and he is involving your son by using him moreless as a way to get away w/ it so what if there was a purchase of 1 ticket she could of pd her own way or he had cash already to pay her way, he is covering his tracks he isnt stupid, and sweetheart you are trying to find ways to subcinciously defend him.. no, no, no dont do that get p***ed get mad he is playing you as a fool, thinking you are going to fall for this and then probably saying behind your back (hahaha) she doesnt even suspect it! Honey as the spooky houses in the movies always say GET OUT)!

Answer 8

my ex use to leave on weekends say he was doing a side job, but never seemed to get paid for it, began to care less and less for me. seems he is cheating on u. i think u need to confront him with the odvious, find out if he still loves and wants to be married. if it sounds like a lie it probroly is one. a man who is working 7 days a week should have extra money. chances of him being truthful aren't good, being in the military and all, as cheating is against their rules. but from my own experience i would say he is cheating on u.

Answer 9

You have tons of circumstantial evidence here-- approach him honestly, but certainly not in an accusatory manner and see what he says. My sense is that this doesn't look very good, and certainly he's not being very smart by leaving such a trail behind. Your opening paragraph will need to be stated in a way that does not draw up his defenses. Good luck!

Answer 10

well it isn't quality time!! i would think anyone in the military right now would value any home time they get. i don't know how good of an actor you are, but if you convince him he was talking in his sleep, and use the names of the restaurants or other places from bank statement, that you wouldn't know about unless he said something, you will know by the look on his face!
doesn't sound good