My partner stays with us only on weekends, lives with his mum during the week, we started going out 11 years ago we are both 27 yrs old and have a 6 yr old son together, we have been off and on for the past 6 years. I have basically been a single mother but always take my partner back when he chooses to return (he has cheated on me in the past as well but before we had our child although he told me when my son was 1) he says he stays with his mum during the week as its nearer to his work but surely if he really loved me and our son he would want to live with us and help to support us and travel for 20 minutes in the car - he is making exuses he is now working nights whereas before his excuse was more plausable as he had to do early shifts, he doesn't share my bills with me because he doesn't live with me and I've really had to push him to contribute as it's only fair he is staying with me for 3 nights of the week his answer is to live with his mother until we can buy a house no way!
2007-03-07 08:02:37 · 11 answers · asked by Missy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wouldn't it be nice if the man would change?
Would it be nice if he chose to be a father and husband?
It would be nice...but after 11 years you know the answer. Why ask us...you just need permission from yourself.
You can find someone else if you like or you can move on by yourself...but hanging on to a guy that doesn't do anything but give excuses is a sign that you need to build yourself and not worry about him.
Sad that you had a kid together. But your son will be happier and more successful if he sees his mom happy. His dad is already a poor excuse. Give him one good example for his future.
Why not move further away and see if the drive is too much. Make sure it will take lots of effort for him. (apparently 30 minutes is enough).
Just GO....give yourself the push. I read these sad stories on yahoo just to motivate myself to stop putting up with crap. Maybe you should too. Try reading my questions...that will give you a picture of a sad life too. We all have stuff we should leave.
You are smart...now just do the smart thing.
2007-03-07 08:16:18 · answer #1 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As painful as it may be, I'd tell his to stay at his Mum's all week and move on... You (and your son depending on how involved he is in his life) deserve someone who will love you, help you, and support you. A 20 minute drive is nothing especially to support your family. If he isn't contributing in anyway, then you're already living your own life. I say cut the fat and be a lot happier :)
2007-03-07 16:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by sapphirafire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right when you said, "he is giving excuses". Boy has he pulled the wool over your eyes for so many years and gotten away with it! Thank goodness you are finally seeing the truth! He is totally using you! How can you allow him to do this to you and your child amazes me! First of all, go to your local Child Support Services and get him to pay you for child support. Then you must stop providing him your company whenever he feels like it, which has been mostly on weekends. Unless you want to go on hearing his excuses, stop your relationship with him. Remember, he can only continue to use you if you allow him to. The decision is yours. Good luck to you!
2007-03-07 16:14:35 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be the bearer of bad new but this guy is taking the complete mickey out of you!!!!. Why shoud he change, after all he has the best of both worlds, a loving "part/time" missus who questions nothing he does and a mum who cooks, cleans and runs after him. He has the freedom of a single man so why should he give that up IF HE IS GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!!!!!! I;m afraid it's you who has to change and lay down a few ground rules (especially for your own self respect) but dont be too surprised if he walks away, after all, he hasn't had any respect for you up till now so why should that change. He is a selfish pig but he is getting away with it honey, sorry to be so blunt!!!!!
2007-03-07 16:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you rolled over any more for this guy, you'd be a rug.
He's using you. Dump him, sue him for child support, and move on with your life.
Millions of other people have married, had kids, and lived happy, successful lives, even if they commute more than 20 minutes to work.
2007-03-07 16:13:12 · answer #5 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't put up with it any long. Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. I can't believe he doens't help you with your bills. You and your son deserve better. Let your son go visit him on weekends and you move on. Good luck.
2007-03-07 16:09:42 · answer #6 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GO. Lock the door, change the locks, and don't buy a house with him. Find yourself and your son a better lover and father. You only go around once you might as well be happy. GO.
2007-03-07 16:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by mendo2point0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheat...always a cheat!! A leopard can not change their spots and if I were you, I drop that SOB and run. You deserve better than that. If you choose to stick around, you are just a glutton for punishment.
2007-03-07 16:10:31 · answer #8 · answered by gijoe84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not go back to him. that is exactly what my dad and his girlfriend did. his girlfriend would cheat on him and then would leave him. then when she realized she didnt want to live with her mom anymore she would go back to my dad and do the same thing. LEAVE HIM!!! please. you could find someone so much better. It might be better for you kid to be together but not with you EX?boyfriend coming back and forth.
2007-03-07 16:13:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say he has had quite long enuff to be a man sounds like he is a mama's boy so i say gooooooooo
2007-03-07 16:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by melodym28_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋