My good friend declared his love for me, and now im worried that our friendship would never be the same again - i love him a lot but only as a friend and ive made that clear to him
He knows there's no chance of us being together, despite his efforts, and i can tell that he is making an effort to try and act as though he doesnt feel anything for me, but sometimes he (accidently?) slips in certain remarks about how id rejected him and how much he cares for me which makes me feel awkward
i dont want to lose that close friendship we've had where i can tell him anything and vice versa...even the most embarassing things! (like before) Yesterday i called him because i wanted to talk and we chatted for about 2 hours about nothing! lol, i dont want to lose that closeness, but i cant help but think that he only wants to talk to me for so long because he has feelings for me; not as a good friend. Plus, i feel as though im leading him on...
Do you think my friendship can survive all this?
2007-03-07 07:42:23 · 20 answers · asked by Miss Terious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well i told a girl who i was really good mates with that i loved her. She said she liked me as a mate and nothing else (At this time i belived she had been leading me on) Ovbiously guys view friendships and relationships differently to women as i actually thought she loved me aswell. After i told her, we still talked for a while, but it seemed forced as i ovbiously though of her in a different way then what she thought of me. after a while however our relationship detereorated to the point of not talking at all. I deeply regret ever saying anything to her, and now i've lost her as a friend.
I hope very much that you and your friend sort this out, and continue with your friendship.
Hope this helped..
2007-03-07 07:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Ryan W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship will never be the same, and if you don't feel the same way about him that he feels about you then your friendship is doomed. If you really care about this guy as a friend and you truly respect him as a human being then don't jerk him around. Pull the plug. You can't have it both ways. Either you give him a chance in a serious relationship or you walk away. Anything in between and you ARE leading him on. Telling him there's no chance after he has told you how he really feels but trying to maintain that "closeness" is basically treating him like a butler -- you want him around but ONLY when it's convenient for you and only to do what you want him to do, and then when your wants and needs are fulfilled he's dismissed. Don't use him like that. He deserves better. If you can't find it in yourself to give a serious relationship with him a try, tell him point-blank that you can't give him what he wants and you don't want to hurt him anymore than you already have (by the way, it's not your fault if you don't feel the same way about him, and it's not your fault if he gets hurt, but it IS your fault if you use him from here on out).
2007-03-07 15:52:52 · answer #2 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, once he falls in love with someone else and you are still his friend. Be really firm that your feelings are not going to change and take a break from him for a couple of months if you have to. Let him find someone else he can fall for. You are not leading him on unless you are taking up all his available time with your friendship. And if you are taking up all of his time, maybe you better reexamine how you really feel about him. If you're certain he is never going to be more than a friend, explain to him that the "spark" is not there to ignite your fire. When it's not there, it's not there. We all know this. Good luck. I hope you don't lose your friend but let him go for awhile.
2007-03-07 15:51:32 · answer #3 · answered by juncogirl3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you talk to him he's grown close to you
and now you know,
your feelings and friendship will be hard for both of you.
Just back off and get some girl friends that like boys and their feelings shouldn't change towards you.
Mixed friendships don't work in the long run :( sorry but true :)
2007-03-07 15:56:32 · answer #4 · answered by Busgirl2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it can... If you will clearly point out than there can't be anything more than a friendship, coz think about it.... At the very beginning... Your friend, knew that he fancies you... The only difference now is that- you know it as well. So what? Who cares? It sounds like you are really good friends, why wouldn't your friendship survive?
2007-03-07 15:49:44 · answer #5 · answered by Ramona A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are in a pickle. If there are ANY feeling that are underlying for your friend, you need to explore the possibilty that just maybe are you attracted to him. And what a plus. It is rare that you can in one life find your mate and him be your best friend too. If you do think you have feeling and are just afraid, allow yourself to open your mind and heart to possibilities.
This man obviosly cares for you a great deal and by you talking to him every night their either has to be a connection or you are just using him. You need to make your mind up so that he is not hurt in the long run.
2007-03-07 16:12:31 · answer #6 · answered by txflower62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but same thing happened to me and we're no longer friends. he told me he had feelings for me and had done for years and i straight out told him that i only liked him as a friend. it hurt him bad but we both tried to still make teh friendship work but it was so awkward becuase the whole time i still knew he wanted me in that way, he often too would slip in coments about rejection or how i used him or something which would make me feel terrible. now i have a boyfriend he didnt like the fact i had a friend who was a guy who still liked me (it was kidna obvious) and i swore we were just firends and that he knew it would never be anythign more between us. my boyfriend still hated it when me an the other guy hung out, but it started being more weird becuase they would get jealous of each other. in the end i was loyal to my boyfriend and said sorry to my other friend but it would never work out being just mates. he agreed, then unfortunately we had a big fight and now we dont actually speak to each other... sorry i couldnt be more cheerful but its just how it was with me and so from my experience, im nearly guaranteeing that things will never be the same again.. sometimes life is pretty gay like that, you think youve found a friend for life an then a spanner gets thrown in teh works an you realise in the long run, truth is you probably wont still be mates with them...
2007-03-08 17:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by WomanSoHeartless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you treat him like a girlfriend, that has an impact on any man - you can have men friends, and even be attracted to them physically or vice versa, but as long as there is no expectation of fulfillment. Sounds like in this case you are teasing him by not shutting down his desires for you somehow.
2007-03-07 15:46:37 · answer #8 · answered by All hat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Ok, the crush might not last long.U 2 are bff,right? Tell him a way a best friend would,cause u don't wanna hurt his feelings.Boys can also be sensitive.Yea,it can survive.Just be a good friend,talk 2 him about it,but if he's sensitive,talk calmly
2007-03-07 15:50:19 · answer #9 · answered by jasmine m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not a snowball chance in hell that things will be the same. but u know that some very strong relationships started out as friendships
2007-03-07 15:52:50 · answer #10 · answered by axis-s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋