Should I leave things the way they are?

Question

I've started talking to a girl online a little over a year ago. We live in different states, and we only communicate by email. We've exchanged photographs, and I hope the one's she's sent me are real. I believe they are, but how could I ever really know for sure, right. The one's I've sent are. I think she's so nice, and we've been talking for so long that I feel like I know her. I really want to talk to her for real, but I'm so afraid she's not going to be the same person from the emails. Should I just leave things the way they are? Has anyone else been friends with someone they have never accually met for over a year?

P.S. She keeps saying that she loves me, and she wishes we lived near one another.

I'm not a guy...

Answer 1

I think part of what you are experiencing is common in the dating world, regardless of orientation. Moving to the next level always involves some risk or perhaps disappointment. That said, taking the next step can also make your life better and your relationships more meaningful.

Starting with baby steps is a good idea. You learn, you grow more comfortable, and you ready yourself for personal expansion. You sound ready.

You mention that you really want to meet her, but your fearful. Fear is OK. It's natural, but it should not be permitted to stop you from living. Embrace it. A life of bravery and growth involves some fear. A brave life should sometimes make your palms sweat.

If geographical distance permits, meet up with her. Take proper precautions like meeting in a public and neutral environment, and maybe have a friend call an hour in so you have a built in escape if your uncomfortable. You can always screen the call if things are going well.

Another option, since you have some comfort level with technology, is to arrange a video-call. At least, prior to meeting, you will have seen the "real" her as opposed to simply still photo's that might not actually be of her. Her willingness to help arrange the call will help you gauge her level of commitment.

Good luck to you. I've never had the exect same situation, but hopefully this was a little helpful. It's my first Answer.

Answer 2

I'm actually going through the same thing. I know alot of people have said it shouldn't matter what she looks like, but the whole point is you like her and you hope she's being as honest with you as you are with her, so it does matter. I met someone online last year and email her every other day. I have the same questions you do, except, though I really like her, I think I rather keep it the way it is. If she is who she is, we'll still be cool. If not, I'd kind of rather keep the fantasy.

Answer 3

Yes and I say go for it. I was corresponding with a man in Michigan when I lived in Iowa for nearly a year.We exchanged letters, then phone calls, and we ended up talking every night for hours.We finally met and after a few days,I decided to move to Michigan to be with him.That relationship lasted 13 years.I'm not saying it will be that way all the time, but if I hadn't tried I would have missed out on those 13 years.Go for it and see how it goes.

Answer 4

Why are you talking to her in the first place?? Is it to pursue a relationship or just have a pen pal?? If the answer is to have a potential relationship then by all means go ahead with the face to face. You won't know if you have chemistry until you do.
If you are just wanting a pen pal then I would leave it as is, but perhaps you can even suggest meeting and if you don't have the relationship chemistry agree that no matter what you will keep being internet friends.
Good luck!

Answer 5

I met someone that I had been talking to for four months. They were pretty cool but it just fizzled out because we started arguing and were too different. Some people have it work out though. Now I only date women who live in the same city. Much less hassle and heartbreak.

Answer 6

if you are really intersted in her or would like to go forward (im guessing this since u posted in lgbt, u r more or less thinking about getting into a les r/s with her) then u must meet up with her first and know her as a friend with real contact first before deciding to go forward.

alot of ppl hide behind masks online, if evil, they are out to cheat you. for some its to be someone u cant be in real life thanks to anonimity.

if u just want to remain as online friends, kinda like pen pals, then i'd guess you could leave things as they are.

yes i have many online friends whom i'v never met for many years.. some gave pictures some dont... im fine with it cos i dont see any problems arising from it..

Answer 7

Don't you find it strange either one of you have even talked on the phone? More than likely, the girl isn't a girl or nto the girl you think she is. My advice, end the communication, don't reply. If 'shes' not true, you'll more than likely start getting crazy emails from her.

Answer 8

what if she is not the person on the picture. you said you like her personality so, worse case scenario you get a new friend. I say go and meet her. Things are much better in real life than in a computer.

Answer 9

yeah ive had online friends for more than 3 years, but never met them. Anyways, if you guys really like talking to each other why would she lie about something like that you know?

Answer 10

If you really like her then it doesn't matter what she truly looks like, you like her for her personality, not her looks. I would start a phone friendship before I ever met her or anything. I would do that for about 2 months and see where it went.