I know im such a loser for asking this..but hopefully some of you understand and can help me please?

Question

im 15.i am veryshy and quiet.i dont talk at all in class,only in classes where i have good friends. im especially shy to talk to members of the opposite sex(boys). call me a loser, i know i am one. well anyways, this really popular/funny/talkative kid is in 3 of my classes.in social studies he asked me if i wrote down what the homework was for math..and i did so i showed it to him.he couldnt figure it out on the website (it was a printout) and asked me to help him print it.he then said that he takes his own notes in class because the teacher sux at teaching.i laughed and agreed after that i didnt talk to him at all.i dont like him as a crush but i feel i need to make more friends so i wana talk to him since hes easy to get along with.but i have no idea how to start a convo.he probably thinks im weird since i dont talk much and i dont wana start a convo and him not have anything to say and it be really awkward.he has lots of friends and i dont which makes it more embarrasing for me.help

and to make it worse i am a complete nerd with glasses and a face full of zits which makes me more shy and unwilling to speak out

Answer 1

For the shy part, I was the same way. I never talked to guys who weren't my friends, and on top of that, I didn't talk to ANYONE who didn't talk to me first. The friends I had were because they made the first step or were introduced to me through mutual friends. It was difficult. I thought of myself as a loner, but others saw me as a snob. I found, not all, but most people are generally okay with me. I am nice, a good listener, and always have a smile for everyone. I still have problems making new friends, but I like to talk so I just try to make conversation. Any conversation. It will eventually become easier. Start talking about a class, a ball game, or something that you may have in common. Eventually the tension will break, and it will become easy. The same applies to everyone you'd like to be friends with. They don't all show interest or care, and it isn't fun when they show disregard for you, but you'll never know unless you try. It won't be easy, but each conversation will get easier. Good luck to you, and have fun being 15.

Answer 2

For the zits, make sure to wash your face daily, and use a cleanser such as neutrogena or somesuch. This will also help your confidence a bit.

As for the glasses, everyone wears glasses nowadays, they're hip.

As for shyness, you've spoken to this boy before, so you have a topic(the subject of class), so build on that. To break the ice ask him a question about the subject, then you can move into other smalltalk. Don't fret if you feel funny, that's what being shy is about.

Also keep an eye out for people trying to be your friend, many people are shy like you, and they'll try to reach out and make more friends as well, so keep that in mind.

Answer 3

Listen, kid, I am over 40 now buut dealing with teenagers regularly and I see your story on daily basis. The only thinkg that really qualifies kids like you as losers is that you don't see how valuable and smart you are. The "popular" kids form your school will, for the most part, be nobodies in 5 years. Their high-school popularity will not exist in 3 1/2 years - it's prom, and then gone. In 10 - 15 years, that guy might sell you your burgers with fries or fix your car while you will be a director, or a professor, somehting like that. The good thing about him is that he is not ashamed to ask for help, so there may be hope for him, and that hope is you. It does not seem like it now, but he needs you much more than you need him. Sooner or later, you will gain self-confidence you should have now, an dyou will open up, bu he will not get any smarter if he is surrpunded by other popular airheads. You don't understand it now, he particularly can't understand it now, but you are his ticket to a decent life. Just approach that kid, ask him how he is doing and whether he'd like to join you for a ____(a beverage or a meal)_____ at _____(a joint where you guys hang out)______. Even if he turns out to be a jerk in any way, it's his demise, not yours. You are already a greater person for having helped him and for caring about him.

Answer 4

First of all you need to get your self esteem waaaay up! Why do you think you are such a loser and have nothing to offer? Sounds to me like you do. Lets go for the face full of zits first since that is probably why you are so low on self esteem. Get some tea tree oil - its 12 bucks for a bottle and the stuff works wonders! You can get it almost anywhere but if its hard for you to find it go to www.aveda.com and type in tea tree oil. Place it with a q-tip directly on your zits and many of them will dissapear overnight. Next on the glasses - wearing glasses isn't geeky anymore - it all depends on what type of glasses you have. If the make you feel self consious why not ask your Mom to take you to get a prescription for contacts? NOW as for the conversation - you can talk to this guy about anything! You have him in 3 of your classes and he made the first move to talk to you first! If you miss a day of school you can ask him what the classes were about and if you can take a look at his notes (since he takes his own) Heck even if you don't miss a day of school walk up to him and tell him you were totally lost with what your teacher was talking about and ask him if you can take a look at his notes. Good Luck!

Answer 5

First You are NOT a loSer, second you are not a nerd just because you wear glasseS!!come on where is your self esteem! Now he made the first step which could mean he likes you orrrrrr he sees you as a friend, either one is good at this point because it will help you built confidence for going up to people later. NOw if your glasses and zits are bothering you which is normal for a 15 yr old. Get contacts or proactive. something to help you with those, and most importantly...BE YOURSELF...you seem like a smart person just go along with it and see what happens..Good luckkkkkkkkk

Answer 6

Oh, don't say that! You're not a nerd, and you are definitely not a loser if this guy comes up and talks to you! That's the first step, by the way. Confidence. Have you noticed that the popular people at your school, or in the world, for that matter, aren't always beautiful? They all have confidence.

The real truth is, I have the same problem. But mine's different because he never talks to me. You are so lucky!

Practice what you're going to say to him before you actually say it. I mean, think of some conversation starters and stuff. It really helps, so you're not tongue-tied and babbling!

Don't be nervous, either. That really makes it bad!

Well, best of luck!!

Answer 7

Don't think you're a loser. You're not.. you just described a good friend of mine, nerdy and shy in school BUT by the time she got to college, she couldn't keep the guys away. They loved her intellect and her 'lack of superiority'.

The other answers were good, show some self-confidence. Talk to anyone around you in class and the more you talk to people, the more social skills you will learn. This guy seems nice, so keep the conversation going. You have classes together, now there is something to talk about!

Good luck :)

Answer 8

15 or not your self esteem will affect how others view you. Why do you call your self a loser? Its far worst than someone else saying it because you should love yourself first, before others will love you. Don't let this boy use you, because you need friends. If you want to talk to him just ask general questions that he would have interest in. How was the last assignment?. Cant wait for spring break, conversation starters. Don't do things to gain friends, that's how many people get involved in sex too early or use drugs or alcohol. Its not hard to make really friends they are the ones that like us for who we are, so just be your self it is ment to be it will.

Answer 9

Stop saying you're a loser. And let me point out something. You don't need to think of how to start things, he did that, you just need to keep it going. Smile. Ask how the homework went, if he had problems. Ask him about his notes, what he wrote about something that you "weren't clear on". Don't make it harder than it has to be. Obviously you were approachable or he would have avoided talking to you. For guys, approachable is great! Good luck.

Answer 10

Don't think of yourself as a loser just because you are shy. I mean, you're only 15 and that is a difficult age for many kids. Accept yourself first and learn to like yourself. You have a lot of good qualities and a lot to offer the world. The more you like yourself, the more other people will like you too, and it won't bother you so much if some of them don't.