I cook almost every night for my husband....and it feels like he always has a problem with my food....he says it tasted really good, but maybe the meatloaf was a little too "tomatoey"....or, I'll bring him a burger or a sandwhich, and it's, "I like my buns toasted!" ....Or the meat is a little "on the dry side" A few weeks ago I learned how to make a Rueben sandwich (one of his favs) and he said it was good....but when I went to make it this time, he asked to please butter the bread on the inside, because he didn't like how last time the butter got all on his fingers....this is making me feel like I can't do anything right! Come to think of it.....I even got yelled at this morning for holding the dog's leash wrong(?) so maybe it isn't just the food? It has been like this our entire marriage.... We've been together for over 5 years.....maybe I am just being too sensative....but I kinda feel like a doormat.....?
2007-03-07 07:17:22 · 32 answers · asked by Courtney 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
JERK!
I am a picky eater - let me tell you what that is like: I don't like my food to touch, I eat one item before moving on to the next item on my plate, I like plain foods (no fancy sauces or lots of mixed-up things, I don't think I'd ever eat a Reuben sandwich).
Your husband has serious control issues and if he behaves this way about food I am concerned how critical he is of you in other areas of your life. He could be a verbally abusive spouse.
I suggest that you either individually or as a couple seek a marriage counselor.
2007-03-07 07:23:31 · answer #1 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Control issues, plain and simple, he has control issues. I suggest that a therapist should be seen before he escalates this to verbal abuse (or worse) and to help you find your backbone again!
You are not his short order cook or his doormat. He needs to learn how to cook himself as well as do other things around the home. If he has time to watch you and nit pick at the way you do things, I'd say he has way too much time on his hands! My Gma handled her 50's style hubby with a big "honey do" list. If you don't want to work through this and have a healthy relationship, then at least give the man something to do so he will be so worn out that he'll just be grateful for the sandwich and too tired to complain. Sorry but, he's a JERK!!!
2007-03-07 07:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by dedum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it's your fault.
You have spoiled him rotten. So now you're getting the results of that.
Make him fix something, anything for several evening dinners and let him eat that. Or let him eat him some fast or frozen food. See how he is going to like it.
You do not know your price, girl. When you'll find out it you won't tolerate such neglect.
One advise:
Next time when he is complaining, go, grab his plate from him and all other stuff you already cooked and throw everything in the garbage can. Then sit down and quietly continue eat your food from your plate. Do not cook for him anything more in this evening. Next evening do the same if he'll say something negative or do not even bother to cook.
You have to have a nerve to do so, but it works deliciously!
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2007-03-07 07:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him to cook for himself if all he wants to do is complain. He should be respectful and appreciative of all that you do for him. He sopunds like a jerk but also a very picky
eater but I have never had a Reuben that has not been oily they are like a Grilled cheese sandwich with Corned Beef butter the inside it sounds like he is just being a moron or is just negative
or likes making you feel less of a person. Either way you should go on cooking strike and let him fend for himself.
2007-03-07 07:31:27 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone needs a good slap!! I don't cook that often, and when I do and my husband complains about it, or I make something he doesn't like. I tell him that it hurts my feelings that when I try he makes a problem over it. My husband has learned to not complain when I cook something, that doesn't mean he can't give some friendly advice, but he doesn't get all picky about it. Sounds to me like your hubby is taking it to the extreme, i mean how do you hold the leash wrong?!?!?! He is being overbearing and treating you un-fairly. Tell him that he needs to start cooking for the two of you (go on strike), when you sit to eat, give him a taste of his own medicine. If he still doesn't get it, then its time for a talk.
2007-03-07 08:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to this Jerk too - you aren't too sensitive - he's a control freak that is selfish and selfcentered. This is a mind game with him - instead of feeling special and content that you learned to make his favorite sandwich...he feels the need to tell you that it just isn't quite right. The problem with this guy is - it'll NEVER be good enough - and that's not fair to you. As soon as I was divorced I was amazed when I started realizing that not EVERYTHING I do is wrong....everything doesn't have to be done the way he wanted it...it felt good to be me.
Your not a doormat - your a pleaser. Pleasers are great - but they get taken advantage of and that is what is happening.
2007-03-07 07:28:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The next time he complains about a dinner you've prepared for him, just say, "you are so right Honey. From now on you are in charge of all of our meals." Then stick to it. Cook small amounts only for yourself and let him feel what it's like to cook meals everyday while trying to keep the courses varied. When he apologizes, then you can end the strike. This doesn't only go for meal times. Whenever he is overly critical, let him take over the task. He'll learn. Good luck!
2007-03-07 07:26:34 · answer #7 · answered by Momma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What the hey, you've been together for 5 years and haven't learned to tell him if he don't like it to get off his lazy rear and do it himself? Seriously, pull yourself up and set some boundaries. Bet he'll learn to keep his mouth shut if the next time he complains about the food he goes hungry. Tonight hand him the dog leash and let him take the mutt out.
2007-03-07 07:24:29 · answer #8 · answered by Quix 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, and me too. I have the same problem. I think we spoiled them at first and now they want to dictate to us. I have been trying to break my husband of it with no luck. Now he says I'm being too touchy. No matter what I cook he'll say it was good, but....... I even here him tell others I'm a great cook. This has been going on for 15 years and it's wearing me down. The bacon is too crispy, too much cream in the coffee. I say go get it your own dam self
2007-03-07 07:39:39 · answer #9 · answered by Baw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experience tells me that when someone nit-picks at you there is a deeper issue going on. You need to sit down with this man and find out what is happening. I have to tell you, if someone picked on everything I cooked, I'd be handing them the job! Good luck
2007-03-07 07:31:09 · answer #10 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋