my friend is sleeping w/ a married man and i know that the relationship isnt going anywhere and although he likes her, she loves him. she wont listen when shes told that its not going anywhere and so its been going on for about a year and a half. should it bother me that shes doing this to herself or should i just let it go and accept that its her life?
2007-03-07 07:16:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
as long as you know where you stand on that side of the moral issue, I would let it go. Sleeping with married men or married women is a dangerous thing to do. So many times you see on the news about people killing other people over jealousy. And I know that's the extreme of the issue. But the most common issue is the emotional stress that can come about when the married man decides to end the affair, this is when things can get ugly. I would respectfully let your friend know where you stand and what you think of it. but anything after that I would leave alone.
2007-03-07 10:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by buy2get6free 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most you can really do is offer her your opinion and advice. I think you're right that she's probably only hurting herself, but if she doesn't listen to you, the most you can do is just let her be to make her own mistakes. It's a hard thing to do when you know you're watching someone you care about hurt herself, but there's really only so much you can do. If she knows how you feel and you've offered all the evidence you can to back up your opinions, you'll just have to leave the rest up to her. Also, since this is bound to end up painfully for her, make sure that you are there for her when she needs you. She'll need someone to lean on.
2007-03-07 15:21:22 · answer #2 · answered by SheIsDeath 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If this has been going on for a year and a half, surely she knows that nothing is going to come of it. If she doesn't then she is naive, and once she get hurt, she will have learned a very valuable lesson, and hopefully it won't happen again. The bottom line is, let her know how you feel, if you must. But after that, drop it, and let her live her life.
2007-03-07 15:25:16 · answer #3 · answered by Society Dweller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore it completely. She'll learn her own lesson. Some people date married people on purpose to have no strings, some do so in delusion that they can steal them, whatever. You can give advice if she asks. Other than that, I wouldn't worry about it.
So her heart gets broken. It can get broken 1,000 ways. If she is not in physical danger, let it go.
If someone encourages a married person to divorce, it is NOT that person't fault if they do so. Adults have free will. They can say no.
2007-03-07 15:39:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i often asked my ex's mistress where her friends are. why werent they telling her to love herself enough to not date a married man with four children. but you can't compete with and iron will. she was bound and determined to get him and get him to divorce me. she did the passive aggressive thing and tell him she'd leave him alone and let him go back to his family if that's what he really wanted. but of course she never really walked away. she left it up to him. she fed off the fact i was a bad wife and didnt consider that i was trying to get my life together. the other women NEVER consider the wife and her side of the story. she liked to make fun of me for behaving like the victim, but never thought for jsut one second i might be. she was on food stamps, living in a crappy apt. and driving a crappy car. she didnt care that her new love was married with four kids. she saw $$$ and an opportunity to get her and her son a better life. now she's his wife, draining him of my children's inheritance and constantly reminding him what a horrible wife i was so that he'll never ever see that i'm not that woman anymore. your friend is on a mission. and nothing is going to get her to move in another direction. she is convinced that his wife probably deserves what's she's getting and he is enabling her. keep in mind, my ex waited two years to divorce me. she didnt care that she was living with a married man infront of her own kids, she believed God sent her my husband. funny, my mother said, wow since when is God a regifter? will my ex and his wife get what's coming to them? i dont know, it's not my job to know or care. i know that she has a black heart, bashes me every chance she gets and then claims to love the Lord. constantly claiming the Lord blesses her with her new life and husband. as the bible says, the one she believes she knows,"Romans 12:19
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." and so if she believes in the Lord, as i do, then i have no business "dealing with her". the Lord will!! :o)
2007-03-07 15:32:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is really nothing you can do for someone who is bahving self-destructively. The best you can really do is be there for her when everything comes to a head...and it will eventually. Although your friend has made some unwise choices, you cannot fix it for her.
2007-03-07 15:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just let it go.I mean it's your friends problem not you'res.This is her life and if the guy's wife finds out he could get in more trouble than your friend.No worries man-or-WOMAN!lol!
2007-03-07 15:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. She's going to have to come to terms with this on her own. If you've talked to her about it and expressed your opinion, this is about all you can do.
2007-03-07 15:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by Rocky D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You apparently have talked to her about your opinion on this matter. Now, let it go.
2007-03-07 20:07:02 · answer #9 · answered by Ace Librarian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have to make their own choices. You can't control them to do the best thing.
2007-03-07 15:36:21 · answer #10 · answered by Carlos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋