how do I talk to somone who has no tact??

Question

my roommate drives me crazy!! she has no tact at all...

she'll walk into the room, and say stuff like "you've gained weight, you look like so-and-so now" and, I know she's not saying stuff to be rude, she reallyt hinks she's just being honest.

and she'll walk around, with her phone IN HER HAND, with it on speaker phone, at 8 in the morning when everyone is trying to sleep.

how do I tell her she's a complete B***** without actually saying that??

Answer 1

tricky situation, because if it goes wrong and you offend her she'll be giving you the evil eye every single day you live together from now on.

how many others are there besides you and her? even if there's just one you can get them on your side and have a "sit down talk" with her, just let her know that using the speaker phone at 8am isn't really needed and it's very unthoughtful of others.

as for her blatant "you look fat" comments, i'm sure there's at least one thing wrong with her, use that each time she comes out and says crap about you, be really nice about it too, like "yeah i've put on a few i guess, you should really trim your toenails, they're disgusting", something like that. Not everyone is perfect.

i had a really horrible housemate 3 years ago who had issues with her ex-boyfriend and family, and she'd complain all the time, but when i tried to help (even just saying some comforting words) she'd get all angry at me and accuse me of having some bizzare obsession with her, it was really confusing and caused me to distrust women for the better part of 2 years.

my point to that tale of woe is sometimes moving out is the best option. your roomates problems aren't that bad at the moment, but just in case they get worse drastic times call for drastic measures

Answer 2

Tread carefully because you live with this person. Is she saying this stuff to your friends? If so, let her know that you'd appreciate it if she was a little more careful with what she says to your friends, bring up a specific incident like the "you've gained weight" thing and say something like "I know you probably didn't mean it to be rude but I'm worried that something like that could come across the wrong way and hurt their feelings" As far as the cell phone thing just ask her politely if she could not use the speakerphone until after a certain time since you're trying to sleep.

Answer 3

You have to step up and defend yourself. Each day you do nothing she can legitimately (not really... buuuuut) claim she did not know she was an annoying b****.

Tell her the behavior that is annoying as near to the event as possible. Be as respectful as you can, but most importantly HOLD YOUR GROUND.

Answer 4

treat her how she treats u and get her annoyed jus like she's doin it to u