i just don't understand if you both enjoy it, but the wife doesn't want it as much, whats so hard (no pun intended) about just having it? why make a big deal about it?
2007-03-07 07:09:26 · 15 answers · asked by john j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because she has to be in the mood for it. Spank it in between to blow off steam. That's what I do.
2007-03-07 07:13:50 · answer #1 · answered by m k 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I used to have the same problem until I changed how I turn my wife on. I discovered that if I to little things to tease her during the day she will be more interested. For example, I started sending my wife text messages with subtle messages. You cant go right into I want to F*** you. tell her how special she is, how pretty she is, how sexy she is, how you are getting excited just thinking about her, etc.... I guarntee she will respond and be into it. You can then work up to more sexually descrpitive text messages. I have been doing this for a few months now and my wife is a borderline nympho now. We have sex more often and she has willing to experiment with things she would never consider before. I am a happy guy again!!! What most guys dont understand is that 90% of getting turned on for women is mental. If you can get her going and tease her she will become a different woman.
2007-03-07 07:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you sure she is fully enjoying it? Some woman get very sore after wards and I have even known some that complain about pain later.......and is she enjoying it as much as you? Are you making sure you are spending enough time with foreplay (that is not 5 minutes and then wham!) ask her if you could do something more or different.........maybe she likes to kiss more or differently......try not to make her mad before because that will destroy it .....(even if you upset her earlier in the day) Best I can say is there is" always a reason" even if she says no... ..you need to find out what it is ...
2007-03-07 07:20:05 · answer #3 · answered by connie b 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I actually have the same problem in reverse -- my wife wants it more often than I do! It's tough because she has been out of work for over a year and when I get home I'm often too tired (doesn't help that I have sleep apnea and can't get a decent night's sleep, but we're working on that). I guess this would be one area where you would need to find out WHY she doesn't want to have sex as often, and maybe some compromise would be in order -- you try to understand her point of view and she tries to see yours and maybe give you what you want more often.
2007-03-07 07:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems women loose their sex drive in life way faster than a man does. I bet 98% of the men who cheat on their wife do because she lost her drive. A marriage can't last based just on sex but when her drive goes it is hard for that marriage to last to.
2007-03-07 07:17:34 · answer #5 · answered by lost 1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men think that each time they get a hard-on it's their supposed to have sex. That approach might work for some couples, but not for most.
You have to know that it's ok to be horny and want to have sex without having sex. Sexual desire is not just for having sex. Just like eating is just not for having a full stomach. The nutrients in the food that your body needs is for energy to think and create.
The sex drive is the same way. You shouldn't have sex just to get a nut off. That desire should be use to seduce, romaticize, and concern yourself with the feelings of your spouse...once you do those things, then bust a nut. If you have sex everytime the urge presents itself, then sex will be the cure all in a dysfunctional relationship. Because the desire is not nurtured, the attitute towards marriage will always be instant gratification. Marriage is not about instant gratification. Marriage is about being thoughtful and having patience.
Nurturing your sexual desire is a great way to be thoughtful and patient.
2007-03-07 07:17:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You just answered your own question by saying it's no big deal. It's no big deal to a guy to have sex; for a woman, it is a big deal. With women, there is alot more emotion involved - it's not that easy for them to "just do it". Too bad you didn't realize you answered your own question before asking it - you could have saved yourself some points.
2007-03-07 07:21:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree completely with you. My husband and I have been together for years now and we are still very much in love. I just wish he would give up the booty more. It's not lack of love just lack of desire. Maybe you should try to flirt with your wife more. With most men sex is more physical and with most women it is more emotional. Try to play on those emotions and I think you will be pleasantly surprised!!
Good Luck To YA!!!!
2007-03-07 07:24:15 · answer #8 · answered by sandra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because, you're dreaming, everything else is NOT fine.
Your wife isn't attracted to you. That might because you're an insensitive jerk, though in that case I bet you'd not think everything else was fine. So my money is that you've become a doormat to your wife, and she no longer finds you attractive because of it.
2007-03-07 08:44:54 · answer #9 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to understand that a woman uses her mind for sex, and a man below his waist. So she needs to be in a place mentally that she can have it. It may frustrating, but if you want to turn a woman on, you must first free her mind.
2007-03-07 07:14:15 · answer #10 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Depends on how much you are getting and how much you want.
I have the opposite problem. My hubby is on lots of medicine that has killed his drive so we NEVER have sex. *sigh*
2007-03-07 07:15:23 · answer #11 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋