Say you invited a friend over. When she got to the door you noticed she was bigger which you didn't mind but you wondered what others would think so you take a different way around the house so they wouldn't see her. You know nobody would say anything but you wondered what they would think. I feel guilty and selfish. She is a good friend and i think i am too besides this. What would you do besides tell her?
2007-03-07 07:01:22 · 14 answers · asked by Heather B 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Who cares what other people think????? If they are that shallow then who needs them as friends!!!
2007-03-07 07:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by boz4425 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It almost sounds like in one way you are feeling protective of her and in another you are protecting yourself from her change. It's almost as though you are thinking of her as an extension of yourself and how you might feel, were the tables turned.
She is still your friend. You still care about her. You are not being selfish, but you are not being accepting either. No matter how you want to deal with that, she's still the same person you saw last time, and she needs you to feel the same way about her.
If she feels comfortable enough to talk about her extra weight with you, she will, and if she doesn't, and you can't find a way that would be comfortable for both of you to discuss it, then let her be and allow her to deal with it on her own. It shouldn't affect how you deal with her, unless it has changed her personality and she has become more negative about herself. Then - perhaps - she could use a friend who will listen ...
2007-03-07 08:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by Plexed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! I couldn't care how big or ugly or anything a person was if they were a friend! I just do not see the problem...I really don't. WHY does it bother you? I am truly gobsmacked. Are you saying that you are embarrassed to be with someone big? WHY?
I'm being really honest and serious here, do you think that what people think of you is THAT important?
Whenever I have had a friend I have never given a single thought to anything like this.
I can only guess that you are very young....rise above all this please, be proud to have this friend and bugger to anyone who may think anything of it!
2007-03-07 07:09:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you afraid that your parents are going to see her, or what?
Maybe you can join some sports together. You'll get a great workout, and you can still stay fit.
You have no reason to feel selfish, and definately not guilty. This is the normal human nature, it just proves that you're one of us normal, average, living beings.
2007-03-07 07:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Mischa S. ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She knows she's already bigger, no sense in rubbing it in her face. Continue treating her the way you have been, like all your other friends. Just because she is bigger, does not mean she should be treated differently. She is still a human being with feelings. :)
2007-03-07 10:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by jesss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is your friend, to hell with what others think. How would you feel if a friend tried to hide you from others because of one of your character or physical defects? Don't tell me you're perfect cause thats a load of buffalo squat. Shame on you! You should admit to her that you were selfish and apologize to her for your insensitivty to her condition. Be a real friend!!!
2007-03-07 07:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do nothing! Especially not tell her! The 'big' thing is up to her and there is nothing you can tell her she doesn't know about it. Good friends don't hurt each other. Just love her for what's inside.
2007-03-07 07:11:27 · answer #7 · answered by Dust in the wind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she's a good friend nothing but the front door will do she will be there for you when the chips are down so dont disrespect her like that
2007-03-07 07:11:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares most of americans sre fat now..
don't be shallow, she knows she gain weigth and any one that think different of her because of this..is just plain silly..
Give your friend a break
2007-03-07 07:10:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were her friend, you wouldn't have done that. Let her be big if she wants to be. It's not your place to tell her anything.
2007-03-07 07:10:29 · answer #10 · answered by cas12211221 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋