he has become very bad,he threatens me with violance and has hit me spit on me this all started after i got seperated from my x name calling on a dailly bases lies to my parents we have to live here tell i make enough to move in to my mom says im lieing he he can stay as long as he wishes help lancaster calif
2007-03-07 06:49:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Right now your son is going through heart break. Seperation often causes confusion and abandonment. You need to let your son know in any way that it wasn't his fault and that things like this happen for a good reason and that reason is to better both your lives. Also, assuming that your son is a teen, teenagers are afriad to express themselves verbaly so they often do it through action. Both your son and you need to meet half way. Listen to why he thinks you're lying and instead of sitting there and denying it, even if he's wrong, talk to him about it. Instead of screaming back "I' not flicking lying!" Say something like, "Why do you feel that I am lying to you?" "Is there anything I can do to get your trust?" Etc. Honey, take it one step at a time. Remeber to negociate and always meet halfway, even if you have the authority. Much luck!
A.L.
2007-03-07 07:03:24 · answer #1 · answered by Angelus L 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would send him to live with his father, he needs his a** whipped, he actually hits and spits on you, he has no respect for you. This is serious. The only one that can get this kid under control is his father, if you don't get this under control, it's only gonna get worse. He is already driving a wedge between you and your mother. Once you start theraphy, there will be no end to it, your life will be a living hell and you probably couldn't afford theraphy anyway. I've been there sweetheart, and actually turned my son over to the state, I had to pay the State of Florida child support. If you would like to talk to me email me at keysfever009@yahoo.com
I would be more than happy to talk to you about this. They should really have a support group for this sort of thing. I went through all of this and cried daily. Now my son is 20, and has returned home to apoligize for what he did. Of course that was after his release from jail in which he spent 4 months. My husband and I helped him pay off his probation and bought him an RV so that he would never be homeless, told him that we love him and sent him back to Florida in style. But he knows that he will never be allowed to spend the night in our home, because he had threatened to kill us, actually to throw gas on us and set us on fire in our sleep. I loved my son with all my heart and this was a severe blow to me. But he got involved with the wrong crowd at school, gothics and went over board. Write me if you like, I will try to help you figure out what you have to do to get some peace back in your life. Sorry, I really do know what you are feeling. You could always call the boys and girls town, they will help you and it isn't a bad place for children, I know, I lived in one as a young lady. That would actually be your best bet. It will make a world of difference and will bring some peace to your situation. They will give your son any theraphy that he may need, and give him direction in life.Try this
http://www.girlsandboystown.org/
or
1-800-448-3000
Good Luck
2007-03-07 07:25:29 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is this little bundle of joy? Curious.
Regardless of his age, there are ways to deal with this at any age level, and I would not spare any attempt to get him seen by a Bheavioral Expert and get his problem addressed.
In my mind, some good ole' "Woddshed" tactics would be in order as that is the way I and many of my peers grew up in the 60s (when I was in my pre-Teens). I turned out pretty good and if I ever back talked my Mother or acted inappropriate towards her (which was very rare) I saw the back-hand coming.
As far as the "Ex" goes, I would get a Peace Bond against him or a Non-Contact order. You don't need to be aggravated and your world disrupted by his insolent behavior, and it's only leading to more problems with your son.
As far as the son goes, you better get on top of that before he sticks a knife in you one day in one of his fits. It does happen, and it is usually preceded by lack of action. You give him and inch, he will take it a mile.
(Friendly suggestion) I would work a bit on your posting narratives. Proper sentence separation and some capitals would make it easier to understand your dillemas. A run on and incomplete slew of sentences causes those that wish to help and anser to decipher what you are clearly trying to say.
Good Luck! Take Charge!
2007-03-07 07:01:21 · answer #3 · answered by The Sylvan Wizard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoop his ***. why are people so damn scared to discipline they're children today? There is BIG...no HUGE difference between discipline and abuse. There are so many things that could have been stopped by a simple *** whooping. Yes he's probably suffering from seperation anxiety, but he's probably also using it as an excuse...esp if grandma is in the background condoning his behavour. If you feel the need, then by all means take him to see a therepist. I dont beat my children but they damn sure wouldnt get away with hitting me or spitting on me.
2007-03-07 07:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by rednecksurfer_roxy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get him counseling as quickly as possible. If you let this go he's going to go from an angry and violent child to an angry and violent man. Do not unleash that onto society! Start with a psychiatrist or therapist and see where it goes from there.
As a side note, I went to both when I was a teenager and depressed. It did wonders for me. It was nice having someone I could honestly talk to. I would shut all my problems in and have horrible mood swings. Yell. Scream. Same as your son. I'm a perfectly fine and relaxed adult now. Look into it!
2007-03-07 06:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anon 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Now I don't know all of the particulars, but you need to stand up and be parent. He is the child. I don't care how old he thinks he is, but you need to make him understand that you are his parent and not the other way around. I am not talking about abuse, but discipline. I know that we live in a world that frowns upon parents disciplining their children, but the police will tell that they would rather that you did before they have to.
Professional help is good and everything but what he needs to understand is that there are better way to handle himself and that you will not tolerate his behavior.
2007-03-07 06:58:41 · answer #6 · answered by scgraphix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that you love him. But I would not put up with that. What I would do if it were my son is call the police and let them take care of him. Or maybe you could get an EPO, to keep him away from you. Another thing is to just up and leave and not tell him where you are at. But what ever you do I wish you luck, I to have an 18 year old. That I have let by with more than I should have. But he has never tried to hit me or anything. But he does get sassy sometimes. Also you could let your x come and get him for awhile.
2007-03-07 06:56:36 · answer #7 · answered by B 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Get the kid help before hitting and spitting become even worse. If he will hurt you he won't hesitate to hurt a stranger.
Good Luck.
2007-03-07 06:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by NakasEvilTwin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he?
I'd call family services and get him into counseling, because it's only going to get worst. Think about what will happen when no one's around.
I know it's your son, but no one not even a child should hit his parent.
And ask your mom if you would have been aloud to hit her
2007-03-07 07:06:47 · answer #9 · answered by walker9842 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
seek medical attention instantly, don't try to put him in any situations, it'll make him worse, people who are mentally abusive should be safe in an rehab or psychatric ward and a lot of therapy,
don't worry, i hope your son will change
2007-03-07 06:55:27 · answer #10 · answered by Clark Kent 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋