i love my fiance but i really cant stop thinkin about this other person, so much to the degree im imagining us 'together' im finding it hard to sleep coz im thinking about it so much....help!! what do i do?? do i carry on as normal and hope this fizzles out on its own?
2007-03-07 06:45:21 · 17 answers · asked by CrazyAss N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
oh and i forgot to mention this other guy has told me he cant stop thinkin about me either...he doesnt know how i feel...
2007-03-07 06:50:00 · update #1
It is ok to think about this other person, especially if he has told you how much he likes you. When you are in a long term relationship, or indeed planning to get married, it is always nice to know that someone else likes you, its flattering. If you really love your fiance, ALL you will do is think about the other person. It just nice to know that you are still fanciable. Your feelings will change as you grow nearer to your wedding, however if they start to take over your life you should think seriously about how you really feel deep down, and if in doubt at all about getting married perhaps re-consider. Dont beat yourself up about it too much!!! you will drive yourself crazy.
2007-03-07 07:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Cathy M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not get married. Your marriage is going to be nothing but a sham--a lie...not only to you, but to your fiance too. Your thoughts about this other guy are NOT going to 'fizzle' out on their own. Spend some time alone and deeply asses your feelings for both of these guy's--then make your choice. You will live to regret it if you make the wrong choice, as marriage is a life long commitment between two people that should not be taken lightly in any way shape or form. Think very seriously about what you are about to do.
2007-03-07 20:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could just be cold feet and you are obsessing because you know you won't have another shot at this person or anyone else for that matter once you get married. Or it could be that you are actually in love with this other person and your heart is not in it with your fiance. Either way, marriage is a serious thing and if you are having doubts you should give yourself time to figure out what you really want. You owe it to yourself and your fiance.
2007-03-07 07:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by Vivita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tread very very carefully on this situation, you could end up opening a whole can of worms.
If your having real trouble getting this guy out of your head maybe it's time to put some serious distance between you and concentrate on you and your fiance.
If your unsure of your future with your current partner maybe it's better to call time on the relationship now before you end up getting married knowing that your heart is not really in it and that's not fair on anybody especially your fiance.
If this other guy had feelings for you why wait until he knows that you engaged and unavailable? maybe he does have genuine feelings for you, or maybe he just wants what he knows he cant have and thats a challenge for him!
t's flattering when a guy other than your partner finds you attractive and that's bound to turn any girls head, you just need to figure out which guy you really want to be with.
To truly love somebody is to truly know them and you obviously know and love your partner, just remember what made you fall in love with him in the first place and how he makes you feel now.
Maybe things have got a bit stale in the relationship, it's not always like it is in the movies, all hearts and flowers, things and people change, but if you truly love your partner dont give this other guy a second thought, but if your having any doubts at all maybe it's time to walk away now before it all falls out of bed.
Good luck!
2007-03-07 07:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by The Original Highbury Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grow up before you get married. I was definately not ready and after 13 years of trying to hold it together it ended. I now have 2 wonderful kids that I love soooo much and may only be able to see during the summers because my ex moved far away. Don't make the mistake of a lifetime.
2007-03-07 07:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by joshandandreabean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the second opinion. why bother to marry someone when u think about soemoen else. thats exactly why marriages dont work 2 much these days. cuz people get married for all the wrong reasons and not for love. if u cant stop thinking about other person i dont think u should get married cuz at the end ur gona end up cheating and then feel worst.
2007-03-07 07:05:14 · answer #6 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could start by cancelling your wedding, love. it is obvious you are not in love with your fiance. not enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him anyway. if you picture yourself with another bloke and see yourself being happy, why would you put yourself through your whole life being with someone that you dont want to be with. your bloke, and im sure you will agree, probably deserves not to be second best. your going through a hard time im sure. maybe the whole commitment thing is too much, and if you prosponed the wedding, the pressure would ease and you can go back to the way things were with your future hubby. dont marry him if you cant commit. you'd be lying through the vows and thats just not right. its best to be honest from the off. follow your heart! hope this helps xx
2007-03-07 06:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married unless you are absolutely sure. otherwise everyone stands to get hurt. maybe you need a cooling off period, time to think about what you really want. Are you under any pressure to get married? If you do get married and what you say you feel doesn't "fizzle out" where will you be? How do you think you will feel? I think you need to be honest and the first person you need to be honest with is yourself.
2007-03-07 06:56:44 · answer #8 · answered by Bob N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married - its clear that you need to get over this other guy. If you was to get married and realise it was a mistake and wanted the other guy - it'll be really tough on both of you (emotionally and financially)! You must consider your fiance's feelings too - would you want your fella marrying you if he was thinking about someone else?
Take care
2007-03-07 09:42:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should marry someone you really love and have no doubts about. a marriage is something serious. maybe you should think about what made you feel like this for that other guy. maybe you can fix something in your relationship with your fiance.
2007-03-07 06:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by ally_t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋