My boyfriend is 20 years older than me.......?

Question

I am 27 and he is 47. We been together for one year. We have been living together for 5 months. We love each other ever much and we have the same views on life, we are talking about getting married. Both our families gets along fine and excepts the situation. I'm not worried about him getting older and having sexual problems, that doesn't bother me. Here about the last month he has been acting so different, moods change so quick. One day he loves me to death and the next day he is fussing and fighting about everything. He says sometimes we fight too much and he needs his space to be by himself or to hang with his friends. Then other times he is wrapped up in me. It's crazy, I don't understand it. He told me the other day he is sorry, we will make it that it's him not me. I got to thinking he may be going through a mid-life crisis because of his age. Which is ok with me, I just need to know from anyone with experience could this be true and have any advice for me on what to do or how to

how to help him cope or just to plain ole make things better. Please Help!! Also breaking up is not an option so please help.. give me true resolutions. Thanks

Answer 1

i read all your question and it seems like that you don't trust the person and you have fear in you. you should talk to him and you both tell and laid all you have,there's should be no skeleton in the closet before you get married.

and i think you should start trusting the man that you loved. and if he cheated on you, it's either you forgive him and moved on or you leave him and you moved on.

and if you can't stand him cheating on you, then leave him.

but it seems like you have a lot of trust issues.

Answer 2

Well, speaking from experience...my partner is 44 and I'm 21...only I'm the moody one. The reality is sometimes being the "stronger" person in the relationship gets to me. It's not that my partner doesn't share eqaul responsibility, or that we have any sincerely adverse situations in our life, but I'm just the one who wakes up and can't all of the lovey dovey stuff all the time. The reality is I take an anti-depressant which helps with the mood swings, and for the last few months, I've noticed a huge change in the way I act. Perhaps he's just having a hard time adjusting...regardless, you two need to sit down and talk this out. If he's not ready for the biggest committment of all, but you two still want to be together, discuss just taking it one day at a time until you're both ready. Good luck.

Answer 3

All I can say is that there has to be a reason why this 47 year old man is interested in you, and not someone closer to his own age. He has issues with maturity, and cant keep it together in a relationship with a woman his own age. He is pulling stunts on you, and I think you should dump him. You are 27 years old, you do not have to settle for a game player who thinks he brings more to the table than you do. If you know that you are NOT the clingy type, and that you give him plenty of space without him having to ask for it, then now is the time to send him packing, because the only reason he would need space on top of that is to play with your head, and avoid commitment.

Answer 4

He's human! that's the issue. Maybe he's more stressed at work right now, maybe something else is bothering him. None of the "symptoms" seem to be specific to a mid-life crisis. Obviously this hasn't been going on for too long, ask him if anything else is going on. Maybe he does need space sometimes, all that is fine, you should take some space too to hang out with the chicas.

Answer 5

When you are too far apart in age you are less likely to get along well, I would say the maximum difference in age should not be more then 10 years. It may be that sometimes you feel really close, however you can also feel really close to your dad. People at different ages have different levels of maturity & different interests in life, it is probably best to have similar levels of maturity & similar interests in life, even if you think your interests are similar I will bet you their different because of the age difference. Also it is very important for someone at your age to start building a family (having children) after all for what purpose did g-d give you a body that has the potential to produce more children? I would suggest looking for a boy slightly older then you, since girls mature faster then boys, & this way it will equal out & you will be at similar levels, however it is also okay for you to be a little older, many times it works out beautifully like that. Also I found an interesting website that deals with a healthy marriage it may be of interest to you, please check out: www.ydivide.com & much success for both of you in your separate ways. ( if your already married then I would say try to work out your differences through a marriage counsler,because it is better to work out your differences, if your not married then please listen to the advice I already told you!)

Answer 6

big age differences tend to create problems. My 2nd wife was 11 years younger than me and I thought at the time that was about the practical limit. And keeping up with her sexually was never the issue. The difficulties have more to do with perception than penetration.

But hey, forget all of the above if he's really rich and has a bum ticker or something. Then you might bag enough early demise-dough to drug yourself to death like Anna Nicole Fakejugs.

Oh, and J.C., congrats on giving the dumbest answer of the month. You guys are gonna break me buying catcher's mitts.

Answer 7

Your BF sounds unstable to me.
Loves you one minute, doesn't love you the next?
Do you need to be punished and kept upset this way?
Age difference or not, I'd be looking at Greener Pastures.
27 is extremely young --you need to enjoy life more before you settle in with this guy.
He's likely to only get crabbier as time goes by.
I'm 49 and I only date younger men, since men my own age are usually unhappy with where they are in life. I guess they thought they would be millionaires by now.
Good Luck.

Answer 8

gosh this is hard to answer. you should really talk to him..but..it is possible that he is having a midlife crisis, but the fact that he is with you and the age difference makes me wonder that maybe he already did and you were it. That is not to say the feelings are not real..cause i am sure they are for you. since he is 47 and still single..maybe he has commitment problems and you scare him..just the commitment part of it..i would have a heart to heart. good luck.

Answer 9

I'm a long way from a doctor, but I know one thing. CRAZY BEHAVIOR DOES NOT CHANGE ITSELF. The age thing is not a big deal, but if he is acting oddly and unpredictable, those things do not fix themselves. If you want to make this thing work, get professional help and do serious work to find out exactly what is happening. If this thing is rocky now it will most likely only get worse. People are nuts (myself included), and nuts just does not get better by itself.

Answer 10

my advice is this: sak him more time, tell him that u need more time to know him, tell him that u need ur space too, until u become sure that if ur marriage with him become successful or not.

u can even talk to him and tell him, that he make u worry, tell him that u feel his behavior is changing.

time will show every thing.