I am a mom of 2. My daughter is 14 and my son is 9. When my daughter was younger she loved school and was a pretty good student getting mostly A's and a few B's. When my son started school it was obvious to his teachers that he was well ahead of other students his age. When he hit 2nd grade they started talking about him being in the gifted and talented program and my daughter started to have problems at about the same time. In 3rd grade he was placed in the gifted program and started doing the same grade level work his sister was doing and it seemed like she started to just give up on school. Since that time her grades have really slipped to B's, C's, and D's. When we ask her about her grades she says she is stupid or that she isn't smart like her brother. Now for my question, what can I do to help her realize her potential? I tell her all the time how proud I am of her and that she is so smart she can do anything if she puts her mind to it but it doesn' help. Any suggestions?
2007-03-07 06:26:24 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Primary & Secondary Education
My daughter has always been tall for her age and my son is very small for his age and sometimes she bullies her brother. I want them to get along and have a close relationship but I am afraid that she really resents her brother because school is so easy for him and she has to really push herself just to get passing grades.
2007-03-07 06:29:31 · update #1
They both play sports and I point out to her that sports are easy for her due to natural ability and her size and that her brother really has to work hard at all his sports, but then he gets chosen for all start teams and other special teams and that all goes right out the window.
2007-03-07 06:37:44 · update #2
Take time and explain to her that she is not stupid but that she may just be overextending herself. My suggestions would be to get her a tutor in her areas of need, possibly check with either the school guidance counselor or an educational psychologist to see what may be causing the drastic change in her grades. One suggestion would be that since you mentioned that she is tall for her age why don't you try to get her into school sports or some other kind of extracurricular activity. I figure that some of her problems are emotional because she is so tall, her brother is so young and doing the same grade level work as she is supposed to be able to do. I think that all of this is at least in part a case of burn out because she is trying to please you by taking classes that are just a little above her knowledge level. My suggestion is keep an eye on your nine year old because there is a possibility that he may start showing the same symptoms, but for her check with her various teachers and see what areas she is doing well in and if they think she can do AP or honors work in certain areas then let her do that level in those areas and lighter work in the others.
2007-03-07 06:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by Jeffrey W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often children who start out well then slide have learning disabilities of some sort. Has she been screened?
That said it is not unusual for girls of her age to lose interest in school and let grades slip. My gifted brilliant sister barely passed her freshman year. There were too many cute boys and friends to talk to and other distractions. By sophomore year she settled back down and got her grades up but never at the same level. She was still as intelligent but not motivated. She is a computer programmer at a major co with a six figure job.
Grades do not determine how much students are learning. It tells how expert they are at doing homework and tests.
My suggestion is keep encouraging her to work hard but be careful not to compare her to her brother. At report card ask, did you work hard? If she says yes the say you are proud. Perhaps you can get her involved in classes outside of school in a subject she likes or does well in. If she excels there it would boost her confidence.
Don't worry too much. I'm close to a boy and a girl who were doing poor to failing for a year or two. They both dropped out (at different times) and took the the GED and passed with almost no studying. (they say only a third of high school grads can pass the GED.) They were learning; they weren't getting homework done. The girl is in college and with a 390 GPA (of 4.0) she says the motivation is different. The boy is just working and hopes to do college later.
2007-03-07 06:45:35 · answer #2 · answered by Karrose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there one thing that she does absolutely waaaaaaayyyyy better than your son? Maybe mention that to her. Sounds like she may be a little jealous of her brother and that's too bad. Kids just don't understand like we do and it's frustrating for parents and the kids. That's about the only suggestion I can think of. Good luck.
2007-03-07 06:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find something she can excel at that her brother can't. We're all different, so there should be things, but you need to find them asap. And, quit telling her she's so smart--she can tell that you are just saying that. Praise her for something specific she does well.
2007-03-07 06:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋