I have been divorced for about 9 years, and I have a 21 year old son in college who is now living at home and communting. I've been dating a man for about a year andI just found out that I am 1 month pregnant. I was so shocked when I found out! This relationship is the first serious one since my divorce. I didn't start dating again until about 2 years ago. My son wasn't too thrilled when I started dating again, and he is not thrilled that I am in a "serious" relationship now, so I've kept my boyfriend and my son seperate. They barely know each other, that is why I am so scared of my son's reaction. I know I want to keep it, but it seems impossible with my son, and with my job being so demanding (I'm a lawyer). I really hope that he will take the news well, we have such a close relationship I can't bear for him to be upset with me. Any advice?
2007-03-07 06:25:28 · 16 answers · asked by Sabrina R 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Son I'm sorry to tell you this but mommy pregnant, What do you think I should do, bcoz your opinion are very important to me?
2007-03-07 06:30:24 · answer #1 · answered by THEGURU 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need to decide the rest of this story before you approach him. If you are going to tell him you are pregnant which you will have to do, what are you going to tell him about the father? Are you going to marry him? Are you going to raise the child alone? Are you going to go to a 'live-in' situation?
Your son is going to see this as a family shake up. He will have a half sibling......but probably just as concerning to him will be that there be a step dad with the deal.
Granted he is 21 and old enough to be on his own, but you state he is living at home while going to school. That makes him part of the family household. There are other matters of the future look of the household he will need to know.
One possibility is letting him move to an apartment if he is not aggreeable to having a new family unit in the house. It may be time to let him become more independent of you so that your life doesn't have to be right under his nose all the time. Giving him the distance to visit as he sees fit would give him opportunity to gradually come to grips with you and another man and another child.
This is not the time to appear to be 'forcing' him to accept a new lifestyle based on your choices. He's old enough to develop his own even if financially he is still depending on you to help him through school.
2007-03-07 06:43:00 · answer #2 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, ignore every biased answer on this answers forum given so far; meaning only the biased ones. All of them are assuming anything on your relationship with your son based simply one what you said, and that is simply unfair to you, because you are asking a question in an honest light. Their advice is biased based on their experiences and expectations.
So my advice is this: Evaluate your relationship, and regardless of the outcome there, the simplest thing to do is tell him, being completely honest. That this has already been suggested, is why I am also saying ignore the others who say anything else. We do not know you or your son, so be honest, upfront, and either it leads to a problem or a solution. If it is a problem, at least it will not be compounded later on by something you didn't tell him.
In reality, the one common thing people share with problems is miscommunication and understanding each other.
2007-03-07 06:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by bane10x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him as soon as possible. if you don't he will start to think that you are untrustworthy. Maybe you can start to bring your bf into your son's life. Go out to dinner once a week, start slow so your son doesn't feel overwhelmed. He has been an only child for his whole life and it sounds like he likes to have mommy all to himself, so reassure him that you will always be there, and explain that hopefully he will be there for you and the new baby. As far as work, what is more important, your job or your family. In my opinion, your main concern should be what is the future of your relationship with your bf.
2007-03-07 14:07:32 · answer #4 · answered by piglet617 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, this is a tough one...i hate to put it this way because it always suck to here it like this. Your son is 21, he's his own person, he is an adult and should now understandd that you as an adult would like to have your own personal life, it's not his decision, if he gets upset with you for being in this relationship then he is being a selfish child, i can safely say these things becuase i myself am 21 going on 22, while he is your son, he's also his own person and you are yours. Tell him to man up a little.
2007-03-07 06:32:53 · answer #5 · answered by Sire_D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend,
You have to make him understand your wish. He's your son and he' loving u. So he'll be able to understand u. I think u both should have a talk.
Speak to him directly. If u r not able to speak looking into his eyes, write a letter even. But, u have to let him know what's in your mind anyway..
2007-03-07 06:31:42 · answer #6 · answered by littlehearts13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, your son has grown up and is now a man. You don't owe him anything and he owes you his respect. I'm sure that he will think it is shocking at first, but babies have a way of bridging gaps, don't they? I hope you will be surprised and amazed by this bit of news for the family. Good luck!
2007-03-07 06:28:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son that he's gonna be a big brother in about 8 months, it's that simple.
2007-03-07 06:45:29 · answer #8 · answered by sknymnie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what is right...Tell him what if someone did not approve of him how would he feel. Also he can not hold a grudge against an innocent child
2007-03-07 06:29:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't kid yourself. If you feel you need to hide this man from your son, then your relationship isn't as close as you thought.
2007-03-07 06:30:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋