My 16 yr old son, has admitted that he does not care about school and is in danger of being transfered to a continuation school. He is only 1 semester behind and has the opportunity to make it up. But how does a parent motivate a child to make the right decisions, I have given him the "speaches" and showed him what could possibly happen, trips down skiprow, etc. Any possible answers will be appreciated.......
2007-03-07 05:47:11 · 11 answers · asked by Jewlz 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Make him get a real job. Manual labor, janitorial work, whatever. Don't hand him things, either. The kids that actually make it into alternative schools are not the economically disadvantaged, because they know that hard work counts. It's the spoiled middle class brats. Sorry if it's hard to hear, but I was told this first-hand by a teacher at an alternative school who was recruiting teachers. Hope he doesn't go down that path.
2007-03-07 05:53:22 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My 15 year old sister was having a very similar problem. When we were finally able to come down to the real point of her not caring, it was due to the fact that she didn't feel it was worth her time. She now does an at home program online through the school district. She was able to choose her classes, and everything is done at her own pace. There still are time restraints (she has to complete the class in a certain time frame), and she also was required (by me and her mom) to find two places to volunteer so she still has contact with other teens, and adults. This was important so that she will be adjusted to doing what other people tell her to do. This might be an option for you to explore.
2007-03-07 14:00:23 · answer #2 · answered by The Hippy Momma 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lots of kids realize that much of school is bogus, stupid, and designed to hurt them and teach them their place instead of uplift and better them. Some kids respond by homeschooling, some by losing motivation, some by saying - hey, this is the hoop i have to jump through to get what I want - ie, a diploma for a job, or to get into college, or be in theatre or football, etc.
So, can you homeschool? Is so, does he care about anything, so that he'd use homeschooling well? That is, would he devour books on a certain subject, or build things, or find an internship at a business that interests him? (That is, is he motivated, but just not for school?)
Or, for those hoop-jumpers - what does your son want? Has he really reached aged 16 not caring about what happens to him in the next five years?
If so, that's the problem to address - depression.
Lectures, speeches, trips down skid row are not going to help because they are you talking, not him talking. Kids tune out lectures very fast and, let's face it - i hope you know it - most people on skid row are mentally ill, and didn't get there because they didn't finish school. Even if they were all dropouts, they're not him, and he can't relate to them.
Get him to talk to you. Get him to tell you his goals, fears, plans, desires.
Sit down with him and say - okay, let's just brainstorm how to solve this problem. Give me all your ideas. Write them all down and censor none. Get the ball rolling if he doesn't by saying a few practical and funny ideas - okay, you could drop out of school, get a job, and start paying rent; you could get angelina jolie to adopt you.... write them all down and after you're both sure he's out of ideas, start going over them.
Get him to write down what he'd like to be/see/have/be doing when he is 21, 26, 30.
Listen listen listen - - The book 'HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL LISTEN AND LISTEN SO KIDS WILL TALK' is really helpful.
And if he goes to a continuation school, maybe it will be positive for him. Maybe the school system is recognizing they've failed him and they need to get him into a better program.
Lastly, what do you do to model for him interest in ideas, learning, academics, career advancement, the future? What do you tell him and what do the others in his life tell him about where he can go and what he can be? What qualities of his do you emphasize and encourage?
Make this bigger than school. So very often, the school has been the problem all along - making boys feel from K on that they're not smart enough. So when looking for solutions, don't think first about making him fit into their mold, think first about him, his well-being, his interests, his life. Then, gather the resources to help him get there.
(Or, if a kid did well all along and starts flunking out, look to family problems, emotional problems, sexual identity concerns, or drug problems as causes and areas for solutions.)
2007-03-07 14:19:34 · answer #3 · answered by cassandra 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should get him to volunteer in a soup kitchen, really see how some down on the luck people are. Also, this may or may not work but I got paid for good grades when I was in school. A's were worth 10 and B's were worth 5, I graduated in 1993 so inflation may hit these numbers, just a thought.
2007-03-07 14:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mandy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to continuation high school.. Now I am attending University of California, Berkeley..
Maybe there is no way to motivate him now. It should just take time. He could be a late bloomer like I am. I didn't care about highschool, and in my case it didn't matter. I still made into a prestigous college, and I am graduating this may.
2007-03-07 13:54:06 · answer #5 · answered by ........ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He probably likes sports. Tell him that school is really just a competition. There are only a certain number of A's given out and students have to top the others to achieve them. By not competing, tell him he's conceding the loss to the others who come away thinking they are so smart. Studying and homework are just training for the big game (the test) Get out there and compete!
2007-03-07 13:52:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A great man once said "education is wasted on the young".
Not sure there is a set solution, but if you keep trying something may click in. Try to convey that some of his best memories will be from school.
Also, if you have to give him some motivation.
I wish you luck.
2007-03-07 15:39:54 · answer #7 · answered by oudie32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take him to a homeless shelter, or if you have an area where pro's and bums hang out take him down there for a while. perhaps make him stay the night at a homeless shelter. Let him know that's how his life could be if he doesn't straighten up, or a jail would be ok.
2007-03-07 14:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by brandyswilkes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe if you stop giving your son the "speeches" and maybe he'll listen to some of his friends. If he's only 1 semester behind and can make it up. He should really listen.
2007-03-07 14:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by Kim C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good swift kick in the right place would do.
2007-03-07 16:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋