Any other women out there who are sickend when there husband..?

Question

touches you? You just want to run. He's a good husband and father, but I just don't want him to touch me. Any suggestions?

Thank you all for responding especially Chentelle, Lad...
Linda leave him now while you still can.
Joanna-thank you, thank you, thank you for the laugh. Go share with all your friends. I see some of you looked at my past questions (my friend of now 20years). He's still my friend and yes I wish it were more ....still. He still wants to remain flirty friends. He's not a player by any means, but I don't think he'll ever get married. He's not good with relationships. My husband got caught last week sexually texting a girl from his work by her fiance. It was mutual. Anyway he's obviously looking for love elsewhere. I don't blame him. I've been very understanding. Wish us luck!

Also thanks to those who brought up do I respect him? Not a lot of the time for little things he does or does not do. I'll try to work on finding reasons I should respect him.

Answer 1

I wonder if this a purely female phenomenon. Of all the people who answered the question saying that they had felt or do feel that way, all were apparently women. Admittedly, the way you started your question solicited females' responses, but I still would have thought there might be some males who felt this way. As for me, I am a male, and in all the 20 years of my marriage, I have never wanted my wife not to touch me except in cases where I was acutely angry at her for something. So, maybe you are angry at your husband for something he has done or said, or not done or not said. Search your mind and figure out what you're angry about, and then tell him and ask for a sincere apology. If an apology would not be enough, figure out how he can make restitution and tell him that. It seems unlikely that this feeling will go away if you don't do anything about it.

Later Edit: I went back and read your previous question about being in love with your long-term male friend, and that throws some light on this. You are resentful of your husband for standing between you and your friend. Well, I think you owe your husband an explanation. He hasn't done anything wrong. In reality, you are angry at yourself for choosing your husband over your friend. So bring your emotional affair into the light, because you and your husband need to work through that!

Answer 2

Do you think it has something to do with respect? Somehow you've lost all respect for him and no longer see him in that light?

After reading that another poster went and read your previous questions, I did the same. Now Im thinking the reason youre having this problem is he isnt the man you want touching you. Just remember the grass always looks greener on the other side. If the man youre with now is your childrens father, you need to do justice by them. Call Dr. Laura

Answer 3

That is a really tough situation. How long have you been married? Has your husband cheated on you or lied to you? Has he abused you in any way? Is he a selfish lover? Were you abused by someone else that you trusted? Any of these things could cause the problem that you are having. You need to find the cause of the problem before anyone can help you with the solution. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 4

im not married yet but i feel that same way with my fiance'. It seems like everytime he wants to touch me I blow him off like getting up and going to the bathroom or go to the kitchen or just turn my head the other way. I don't know what happened to me but its been that way for about 3 months now. Hes nice and all its just when it comes down to him touching me i just wanna throw up. I guess the best way i am getting over this problem is start exploring other factors about him. maybe something will spark your trigger again and get you in the mood again. I mean think of all the good times you two have had together and what he used to do that turned you on so much then hint to him to do that again to you. its worth a lot of tries to save your marrige for you childrens sake. believe me cause breaking up is worse on the kids then it ever will be for you two. just think about.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, I know what you mean! You don't give any reasons as to why you feel that way so I don't have any suggestions for you only sympathy. My husband cheated on me and every time he touched me or we made love- I was disgusted! I loved him a lot but couldn't get passed that. Last Nov- we split after a 13 yr relationship. Good Luck in yours!

Answer 6

You are his wife for heaven's sake. If you don't want him to touch you, then don;t complain later when he is touching someone else. Is not fair to him to seek affection from your wife and you denying that minimum intimacy when you are a couple. You have serious issues, I guess that you have problems in the marriage and your way of "punish" him is to show him that you are disgusted by his touch.
You have to solve the root to the oroblem instead of dealing wuth the effects of a deeper problem. It's time for couple's therapy or else, he will probably be looking elsewhere for what his wife is denying him at home.

Good luck

Answer 7

hahahahahahaha, you and every other women I know thats been married for awhile. I dont mean to laugh, but my friends and I have this discussion all the time. So yes, I love my husband and he is the best, kindest man I know, but as far as having sex and cuddling, I would rather eat a bowl of ice cream and watch an episode of Seinfeld. But I have to give in soon, how many different ailments can I come up with a day to get me out of it. My suggestion is this... Give it to him once in awhile and then enjoy life on the days you dont have to. hahahahah. Good luck, you made my day with this question and I am going to show all my friends.

Answer 8

i want you to know that you're not alone

i'm there too

all these people saying "He" deserves better; there is love there! there is affection, and affinity or we would leave.
there's just no sexual attraction or magnetism.

for me, it's the fact that my husband is just horrible in bed (among other things)... i've tried to teach him about what i need and want... but nothing sinks in... in bed, it's all about him. and i'm just there to make it happen for him. he's always done first. he's too rough. there's no love or tenderness in our love life. so i've just ended it. i'm unhappy with it and there just is no compromise after three years of trying. so i gave up and let him know that he's cut off until he can remember and care about the consideration i've begged and pleaded for.

i love him very much,

there are distinct lines to be drawn though. when i find my self treated with just as little courtesy as his own hand.... that will not stand, and i cannot allow it. i will nip it in the bud.

personally i want to strangle these women that come on here and have the nerve to complain that their marital love lives have been substandard for 15 and 18, and 25 years and now they want public permission to cheat. (you all know who you are)

so, think about it..... what is it about him that makes your skin crawl? is it fixable? i personally think anything is fixable when both parties dedicate themselves to solving the problem. in my case, my husband isn't dedicated to it quite yet (i think he's in some male ego induced denial)... have you talked with him about it yet to see if you both can figure out what has changed in you, him,, your relationship, or just your lives in general? there are stressors that trigger negative impacts on your mutual respectability. if you find yourself respecting him less, that will cause him to become less desirable to you. if your life has become too hectic and you feel alone and unsupported in it, that can cause him to be less appealing to you as well. think about the causes and stressors that have changed and been heaped on you two and your lives both together and separately. the answer more often than not is intellectual and emotional, rather than physical dissapointment alone.

Answer 9

Ya, you 2 need couple councelling. Sounds like all you want is a freind not a hubby. Go talk to a professional. Maybe there is still hope. I don't feel sick when my husband touch's me and I never will. I love him

Answer 10

That is not a good sign. You are not in love with him and keeping him with you is selfish. He can still be a good father to your child/ren without being with you. He need to be with someone that WANTS him. Do the right thing and let him go.